


After the Crazy Science

by CJRiley



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, F/F, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Mystery, Romance, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-03-28 23:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13914243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJRiley/pseuds/CJRiley
Summary: A series of betrayals will push Cosima and Delphine to the brink, a mystery unfolds as Leda sisters across the world disappear without a trace, and one last trip through the crazy science.





	1. One Night in Toronto

**Author's Note:**

> It’s easy to see why Delphine and Cosima’s relationship has resonated with so many: their journey touches on themes of trust, sacrifice, and a transcendent form of love. But after writing two Cophine-centric stories (two more than I had ever expected to complete), I thought it was time to move on to other writing projects. But the Cophine scenes kept coming to mind regardless. I started recording them, but for months I wasn’t sure I had enough for one more story.
> 
> This is the final installment in the Crazy Science series, which reimagines the Final Trip and the journeys of our crazy scientists onward. My hope is to churn out 1-2 chapters a week (no promises). Especially now, in the #MeToo era, as issues of consent and female empowerment rise to the forefront, these stories are all too important to share and explore.

Journeys through the Crazy Science:

Pt. 1: [Follow the Crazy Science](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11437494/chapters/25630233)

Pt. 2: [Beyond the Crazy Science](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11853423/chapters/26761611)

 

_This story is dedicated to the sisters of Leda and the ones who love them._

 

**\- Part 1: Catalyst -**

 

“Just three more days,” Cosima Niehaus smiles, reaching over to meet her fiancée’s hand. “It feels like an eternity.”

They were heading to dinner with the Clone Club – Cosima, the scientist clone and recent PhD graduate, mans the wheel as Delphine Cormier, the French doctor and soon-to-be bride, sits to her right. As much of their fight against the Dyad Institute had transpired in Toronto, and many of their friends lived up north, it only made sense to hold their wedding there as well.

“Did you hear back from your folks?” Cosima asks.

“No. Lucien sent me some money but…I returned it,” Delphine replies.

“I’m sorry. It shouldn’t be this way.”

“I didn’t expect for much. Besides, it’s probably best fewer people see me like this.” Delphine’s face is still marred with bruises from an assault at the hospital three months prior.

“Hey, I think you’re beautiful and I’ll marry you whatever state you’re in.”

Cosima parks outside the house, takes off her seat belt, and leans over to kiss her fiancée on the cheek.

“Is that all?” The doctor smiles, places her hands on the scientist’s face, and leans forward for an intoxicating kiss. They walk hand in hand to the front door, and Cosima rings the doorbell.

“Oi, Cos,” Sarah, her British-born sister and fellow Leda clone, opens the door. “We need you for an emergency shift in the kitchen to resuscitate dinner. Delphine, welcome, you can drop off your bags in Siobhan’s room.”

“Delphine’s here?” Alison, the anxious housewife clone, follows the doctor to the bedroom. “Can I borrow you for a sec?”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

Alison leads her guest to the bathroom and shuts the door. “Okay, so…how should I put this?” She sighs, placing a hand on her chest. “You’re French, right? I mean, yes, of course you are. What I’m trying to say is, and I’m all for propriety but I’m just going to go all out on this.

“I don’t know what you and your French compatriots think about marriage but here in Canada, or, well, Cosima’s American, but you know what I mean. And what I need you to know is that…Cosima is my sister, and Sarah’s, and Helena’s, and Helena is – was – a serial killer, as you are well aware. Anyhow…”

Delphine cocks an eyebrow.

“My point is this. I don’t know and I don’t care what you’ve been taught about relationships but…we love Cosima so very much and over here, wedding vows mean something. And I know for a fact that if she agrees to marry you, she will invest herself in this completely. So if you should ever, ever break her heart or, God forbid, cheat on her, you will hear it from me, and Donnie, and the rest of the sisters, and Felix and Art, and Art’s a cop, you know…”

Delphine nods, taking in Alison’s words. After all she had gone through, life was good now. The doctor had a best friend and partner who adored her, and she had never had anyone treat her so well. The one she loved the most genuinely cared for her right back. Why would she ever do anything to hurt her beloved, to jeopardize that future?

“I understand. I also care for Cosima very much and…”

“I’m sure you do. But…I’m watching you.” Alison points two fingers to her eyes before directing them at Delphine.

“Cosima is mine and I am hers. Alison, you have nothing to worry from me.”

“I hope you’re right. We are done here.” She manages a plastered smile, one she’s flashed many times to get out of an awkward situation. As they exit the bathroom, Cosima rounds the hallway.

“What’s going on here?”

“I…” Alison opens her mouth to speak but no words come out.

“We were talking about you,” Delphine intervenes. “Your sister wanted to make sure I know how to treat you well.”

“Oh…okay,” Cosima responds, aware that Alison hadn’t been the most supportive of their impending union. “Did Scott text you back if he was coming over for dinner?” Scott was their good friend and a fellow scientist, tasked with escorting Delphine to the altar in the absence of her parents.

“I will check.” Delphine heads to the bedroom and rummages through her handbag. “No, his flight got delayed, but he says he’ll make it to the wedding if he has to hitchhike across Niagara Falls.”

Even without their friend, there is a good crowd tonight: Alison with her husband Donnie, Helena with her twins, Sarah with her adopted brother Felix and her daughter Kira, and Charlotte, the youngest Leda sister.

As Sarah sets the table, she turns to Cosima. “We have Dr. Niehaus to thank for rescuing the casserole.”

“No worries,” the scientist says. “Fourth time’s the charm, right?”

“Oh, piss off,” Sarah playfully pats her sister on the shoulder and takes a seat at the head of the table. “Let me guess. You do all the cooking at home?”

“It’s not that Delphine doesn’t want to cook. It’s just, um…we think it’s better if I prepare dinner. That’s all.”

“You’re not sick of all the salad?” Sarah asks Delphine.

“Cosima…she mixes it up,” the doctor replies. “I love her cooking.”

“Thanks honey.” The scientist kisses her fiancée on the forehead.

“Ready for wedding?” Helena, the Ukrainian clone with an insatiable appetite, asks.

“Yeah, when’s it happening already?” Cosima beams. “I’m already looking forward to the honeymoon. We’re catching a flight the next morning to cure our first international Leda sister.”

“And you two in love?” Helena presses on.

Cosima laughs. “If you had told me three years ago I would one day marry a hot French doctor who’s been spying on me…”

“Which part wouldn’t you believe?” Sarah asks. “The hot part?”

“Oh Sarah, leave Cosima be,” Alison intervenes. “What about you? When’s the last time you saw someone?”

“That’s…not important,” Sarah replies. “I don’t need a man to tell me how to live.”

“I think what Ali means is: have you ever even loved someone?” Cosima clarifies.

“Love?” Sarah asks. “I mean, yeah. You and Delphine and Kira and Felix…”

“You know what we mean. Romantically.”

“Well, Cal – Kira’s father – maybe.”

“What about big dick Paul?” Felix asks.

“Fee, there are young children at this table,” Sarah shoots back. "And speaking of Paul…it’s complicated. Yeah, he was a great guy and I regret never finding his body to bury. He sacrificed himself to save us, to save me. He’s a hero by every definition of the term.

“But…did I love him? I think I did, in a way, yeah. I know he loved me. But could I ever truly love him in the same way? I don’t know. If he were alive, I’m not sure we’d even be together, to be honest. I can’t completely forget, completely forgive what he did to me. Or to Beth, for that matter. He let them experiment on me, for Christ’s sake.”

“What type of experiment?” Delphine pauses mid-bite.

“I don’t know; I was chained to the bed. They took blood samples, shoved something in my mouth.”

“She found an electrode inside of her the next day,” Cosima adds. “Paul must have let them in, or if he hadn’t, he certainly never stopped them. It’s a complete betrayal of his relationship with Beth, or rather Sarah, not to mention a complete infringement of Sarah’s basic humanity.”

“And this was done by the Neolutionists?” Delphine asks.

“Who else could it be?” Sarah says, shoving a bite of casserole in her mouth.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Cosima says. “You’re right. Paul…he’s a hero and all but there will always be that. And that can’t be overlooked.”

Delphine’s face falls and chewing slows as she dissociates herself from the conversation for the rest of the night.

“Hey.” The doctor feels a hand on her left leg and looks over to her fiancée. “You all right?”

“Yes, don’t worry about me.”

Cosima rubs her fiancée’s thigh and smiles. “Okay. Just making sure.”

Delphine forces a smile in return. As much as she had wished for it, she had never envisioned the future she would soon share with the scientist. The doctor was now an accepted member of the Clone Club – as Cosima dubbed their community – after a career of working at the Dyad.

“Can I…talk to you? Later tonight?”

“Sure, anytime.” Cosima leans over to kiss her fiancée on the cheek. Delphine blushes before looking away.

 

“So what’s up?” Cosima sits on Siobhan’s bed as Delphine paces across the room. “Hey, I’m here for you. It’ll be all right.”

“No. No, it’s not going to be all right,” the doctor replies, running her fingers through her curls. “It’s going to destroy everything…everything we made together. Our relationship, our engagement…”

“Okay, you’re scaring me right now. What could possibly ruin everything? We’ve gone through and survived so much together.” Cosima reaches over to hold her fiancée’s hands, and she leads her to sit down on the bed.

“I know we said that we would be open with each other now, that I can tell you anything.”

“Delphine, look at me. I believe in our relationship. I hope you still want to get married, but if you need time…what really matters to me is that we’re together.”

“No, I want to marry you, more than anything. That’s why…it’s so difficult. I…” Delphine moves under the covers, pulling the blanket over her head.

“Come outta there, my puppy. Come on. Can you trust that I’ll handle whatever you have to say reasonably?”

“I think that’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

“Please, I don’t want this to eat at you.” Cosima folds the covers back and helps Delphine sit up. She places her hands on her fiancée’s face and they rest forehead-to-forehead, staring into each other’s eyes.

“You still remember, that afternoon in Minnesota, the first time we made love?” Delphine asks.

Cosima laughs. “How can I forget?” The doctor had gotten a little carried away, and her inexperience with the same sex was conspicuous. It wasn’t the best experience the scientist ever had, but her new friend was endearing in her own way, flashing a self-satisfied grin when the deed was done as though she had conquered the world.

“And afterward, when you went out to buy us Eskimo pies.”

“Yes, I know the story, we’ve gone through it before. And we’re good now. We’ve forgiven you.”

“You don’t know the full story.”

Cosima feels her heartbeat pulsating from her stomach. “What do you mean?"


	2. Eskimo Pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throughout this story, there will be flashbacks to the first four seasons. Past and present will be separated by a dinkus (***), and all flashbacks are written in past tense.

_You’d let half the world burn in the name of protecting me._

 

 _Merde._ All the information, the evidence, everything had been laid out before her. It was all so easy, much easier than Delphine had expected. Cosima was one of the most brilliant minds the doctor had ever crossed paths with, and yet the level of security she deployed to guard her study of the Leda sisters…

Delphine abruptly ended the call with Dr. Leekie, her supervisor from the Dyad Institute. She had been one step away from disclosing the identity of Sarah’s child, Kira. Why had she wavered?

How much time had elapsed? Cosima would return to her room soon. The doctor reorganized all the files and placed them back in their hiding place on the shelf.

Not long after, the scientist opened the door. “Hey…what are you doing?”

“Well…I said I was hungry, and I wanted to make you something.”

“Why does it smell like gas? That’s not how you use a can opener.”

“I’m sorry, I…”

Cosima turned off the stove. “Do you cook for yourself often?”

“If you include instant noodles and microwavable meals, yes.”

“You’re too skinny. You should come over more often so I can feed you. In any case, as promised…it’s time for Eskimo pie.” The scientist hoisted the box of ice cream and shook it triumphantly.

“I see, it’s like um…we call it, _sucette glacée_.” Delphine took a bite and flinched.

“Cold, right? Careful.”

“It’s very good. I owe you. How much…”

“Don’t even worry about it. My treat.”

“Then I’ll bring you truffles next time.”

“You don’t have to stand. I’m fine if you want to eat on the bed. Join me.” Cosima made her way back to the bedroom and sat cross-legged, patting the edge. “It feels like I’m in high school again. Have you ever had a sleepover?”

“I don’t believe so. My mother was strict, and there was a curfew at boarding school.”

Delphine took a seat beside her new friend and savored the Eskimo pie. She had initially viewed the scientist as nothing more than a test subject: a clone, a living, breathing one, and it was fascinating – how many researchers could claim this honor? It was like observing a dragon or mythical being up close, in the flesh. From her DNA, they would unlock the secrets of the human genome.

Just that this subject was enamored with her. Why should the doctor be surprised? She had read the previous monitors’ reports. Cosima was out and proud, capable of reciprocating those feelings.

Delphine knew gay people had always existed, but was she one of them? She had never entertained the possibility until now. Furthermore, the scientist was different than all the men the doctor had dated. Surely, she wouldn't go into a relationship half-heartedly.

Cosima wiped her mouth with a napkin. “You slipped under my gaydar, but I knew it, I knew something was there.”

“What is gaydar?”

“It's not a real word; basically it’s one’s intuition into another’s sexual orientation.”

Scrounging through the clone’s research and disclosing her findings, that was all for Cosima’s own good. And now they could continue their relationship: Leekie had sanctioned it himself. If this connection could allow her to do her job better, getting up close to her subject, then why not? And when it was all over, the doctor would explain, and her subject would understand the necessity of it all, perhaps even praise her. Yes, this was all a lie, but in the name of science, her subject would surely understand. She was self-aware, after all.

“What's the matter? Is there something you want to tell me?”

Delphine removed the popsicle stick from her mouth. “Nothing’s wrong. Did you have something to say?”

“Yeah.” The doctor’s heart skipped a beat, fearful her monitor status had been uncovered. “What are your hair beauty secrets?”

“You’ll need higher clearance to find out,” Delphine laughed, drawn to her buddy’s friendly American smile and easygoing west coast attitude. She could write monitor reports all day long about her subject, but they would not be the type Leekie would want to read. 

But if Cosima really did have something to say, it would be that perhaps this was not the best idea. She had gotten out of a relationship not too long ago, with a rocker chick from Berkeley. But most importantly, Delphine was her monitor, she was sure of it. Did her new friend really love her? How could this end well once they confront the fact that the doctor was sent to spy on her?

But all these concerns are pushed aside as they enjoy their ice cream and engage in scientific conversation, reminiscing over how they first entered the field.

“Wanna go biking this weekend?” Cosima asked. “Since you didn’t want to embark on a life of crime with me, I know a place where we can rent them legally.”

“I…I would love to.”

How frightening it had felt, to have someone Delphine genuinely cared for, had feelings for, actually grow so emotionally attached to her so quickly, to want to kiss and hold her back. The responsibility that came with holding the scientist’s heart in her hand.

But this was different. The doctor would protect her subject, shield her from harm. This would not end in the painful manner of her past relationships, she convinced herself.

Cosima kissed Delphine goodbye before returning to her studies. With the scientist’s back turned, the doctor taped the latch bolt shut before slowly closing the door.

 

Back in her Dyad-sponsored apartment, Delphine reclined on the bed, ruminating on the magical day with her subject. The electricity on their skin when they finally made contact, relieving them from the agony of longing. The sense of completeness as she held onto her beloved’s body for dear life as they made love. How affectionate and gentle Cosima was, guiding her through the motions.

As a researcher, Delphine was trained to hold an emotional detachment from her subject in fear of contaminating the results, yet Leekie was eerily accepting of their relationship. From here, who knew where their journey would lead? She picked up her phone and gave Leekie a call.

“Delphine. Thanks to you, we are moving in on Sarah Manning as we speak. I’ll need to speak with Cosima soon.”

“Aldous, how long…are we planning to run this study on her?”

“Hm? Well, that depends how long we can count on you.”

“Once we protect her…she can’t always be in danger…”

“Your subject has had monitors before you. And don’t worry, this in no way impairs your ability to move up at the Dyad. I will secure a promotion for you when…”

“So this study, it goes on…forever?”

“We’ve had monitors who have been at their jobs the entire life of the clone. But the median service thus far is three years. The clones move, you know, and it doesn’t always make sense to have the monitor follow. So far, the clones haven’t exhibited any of the markers we’ve been testing for, which is why you are so important.”

 _Forever?_ Cosima would find out about her eventually, and she probably already knew about the monitors. The ruse couldn’t last forever.

“I taped the latch bolt, as you requested. Who are you sending to pay her a visit?”

“A few researchers from the Institute flew out earlier this morning. They should be at her place any moment now for testing.”

“Are they licensed? Does she know about this?”

“They’re true professionals, if that puts your mind at ease. Cosima…we know she’s self-aware. Right now, the less she deduces the better. It’s for her own protection, really.”

“I need to supervise the operation. She’s my subject!”

Leekie sighed. “I’ll let them know you’re coming. But it’s best you allow…”

“They are not to enter until I arrive. Aldous, is that understood?”

 

Delphine rushed to Cosima’s rental house, ran up the stairs, and found the door to her subject’s unit locked. The tape must have been removed. She knocked on the door. “Cosima? It’s Delphine.”

The door opened, and she stood face-to-face with a Dyad researcher covered in a white protective suit. “What are you doing? Did you want to wake her?”

“I’m her monitor. Dr. Leekie permitted me to supervise.” The doctor entered Cosima’s bedroom and witnessed another researcher outfitting her subject’s feet in chains.

“Are these really necessary? Take them off right now!”

“Ma’am, you are the subject’s monitor, not her personal physician. Leave this to the experts, will you?”

“Is she conscious?”

“Dr. Cormier, is it?” the second researcher spoke up. “She’s completely sedated. Won’t remember a thing. With all due respect, you need to let us do our jobs.”

The third researcher held a collection needle, searching for a vein.

“Don’t run the blood test. She ate not long ago; you won't receive accurate glucose and iron level readings.” Delphine turned to the second researcher. “You said she’s unconscious. She doesn’t need the chains!”

“You try doing this!” The first researcher threw up her arms. “You think it’s easy to capture an EEG signal?”

As the doctor freed Cosima from the chains, the second researcher intervened. “Listen. We’ve done this a few times, all right? Either way, the job needs to be finished by the time she wakes up so…”

“I’ll hold her. She won’t move a muscle.”

The researchers relented as Delphine crawled on the bed. It must have been an odd sight as the researchers worked around them. The doctor removed Cosima’s pajamas and placed the holter patches on her subject’s skin. Delphine held onto her as they strapped the EEG headset, and she stroked her face, humming softly.

Did she feel any pain? Cosima was a clone, yes, but no less human than anyone else, a beautiful creature of science. Just another sentient being in all her complexities, intellect, and insecurities. And next time, the doctor would convince Leekie to allow her to be the one collecting the samples.

In less than an hour, the procedure was over and the researchers left as furtively as they came. Delphine carefully dressed Cosima and tucked her into bed. She kissed her subject on the forehead one last time. _Je t'aime._

As it turned out, the gig was up after only a day.

The next morning, Cosima flipped on the radio, settling into her morning routine with a wide grin on her face as _There She Goes_ played over the airwaves.  _How fitting_. Every song, it seemed, bore insight into her situation.

It had been a long time since the scientist experienced so much happiness. She had found a woman who felt the same way about her, the most beautiful she had ever seen and a fellow science geek, no less! What were the odds?

Delphine was absolute perfection in a woman, and when they touched, Cosima found it unreal how a human body could be so soft. The scientist lies back in bed, her mind a haze of pleasant memories.

A call from Sarah later that day would confirm her suspicions. Delphine had discovered her research into the other Leda sisters and promptly relayed their names to Leekie. When the doctor returned with truffles later that afternoon, Cosima was prepared with what she had to say.

_Did you ever consider the consequences of your actions? These women have lives, they have families! They trusted me!_

As Delphine shuffled out the door, this was the last time they would ever meet, Cosima was sure of it. It had always been too good to be true. The doctor had never loved her, she was just manipulating her for Dyad money. The scientist never wanted to see her monitor’s face again.

 

***

 

Cosima stands up, placing her hands on her head, and turns around, her head shaking in shock and disbelief, tears forming in her eyes. “I should’ve known I wouldn’t leave this experiment unscathed. You knew they were coming to operate on me and that it was unethical. You let it happen!”

“I thought the study would save you from danger,” Delphine protests. “I know it's no excuse. I know it infringed on your privacy. But that experiment, it helped us secure the genome Aldous gave you.”

“You knew!” The scientist trembles. “I’ve never felt more violated in my life!”

“You felt nothing when they did it. You didn’t even know about this until now. It’s like it never happened.”

Cosima shakes her head. “Is this what you honestly believe? It’s been – what – almost three years since that day and you never once thought to mention it? It was illegal and it was wrong.”

“You were property of Dyad!”

“You didn't even mention it when I called you out that day…because you didn't think I knew about the operation.”

“I didn't want to lose this. My relationship with you is the most beautiful thing I have ever called my own.”

“And it never occurred to you that I have a right to know?”

“I was afraid you would leave, just like everyone else has. You know I wouldn't allow something like this anymore.”

“Would you? If you thought it'd save me. You'd do it if you believed I’d object, because you know so much better about my well-being. Heck, you’d let half the world burn in the name of protecting me.”

“I'm sorry. I know I've had to say it often. The three years we had, the feelings, the love, everything we experienced was real. We can still have this future together.”

“Delphine…I need every word that comes out of your mouth right now to be the truth. Because if there is anything else that you're hiding.”

“No, not to this degree. Except…” She brings her right hand to her forehead. “Except that one night, after the Dyad gala.”

“Tell me everything.”


	3. Intellectual Property

_I don’t see how this is going to work. I mean, do you see how this can work?_

 

When Cosima looks back on their early relationship, it wasn’t all treachery and betrayal. There were happier times…

 

The night Cosima discovered she was intellectual property, her very DNA patented by the Dyad Institute, she felt the entire world compressing around her. Who was she but a corporate lab experiment, the genetic identical of someone she doesn’t even know? Was she even considered human, entitled to basic rights and dignity?

The only person by her side in that moment was Delphine. As they reacted to the news in Felix’s loft, her monitor, of all people, would not give up on her.

_Defy them. Live your life with every ounce of passion that I know you have. Then they will never own you…_

Cosima hesitated as Delphine proceeded to kiss her, pushing her to resist Dyad. Yes, the woman she loved had beguiled her but…the way the doctor held the scientist’s hand over her heart and promised to always protect her…surely the proclamation had to be genuine. Her methods may have been less than pure, but her kisses always conveyed her intent, imparted her affection.

Finally, Cosima gave in to Delphine’s rallying cry, gave in to her. The doctor is more than eager to seize this reopening of trust. This was the freethinking, cheeky intellectual she remembered exchanging playful glances at during Leekie’s lecture, the one gazing longingly at her before their first kiss, and the woman she held onto jealously as they made love for the first time.

 

The morning after, Cosima awoke with a wide, foolish grin plastered across her face. She hadn’t felt this invigorated since the day she started coughing up blood. Just thinking of her French doctor, with that mischievous wink and devilish smile, made her knees go weak. The scientist looked down and found herself tightly hugging a pillow.

How long had it been since she felt so truly satisfied, so content with her life? How did this all unfold, so promptly after the most earth-shattering news of her life? Was this what it felt like, to be so loved by another person? She had experienced this before, surely she had, from previous girlfriends, but this…this was a different dimension altogether.

“Morning Felix!” Cosima pranced over to the dining table as Felix unloaded half-cooked potatoes and half-scorched eggs onto two plates.

“Well, aren’t you a smitten little ray of sunshine? What happened last night?”

“Oh, you know. Just found out our genes are patented and every part of us owned by a multinational conglomerate. The usual.”

“Lovely. And your monitor was here.”

“She…helped me decode my DNA. She’s coming over tonight to…extract some blood samples.” Felix rolled his eyes, unconvinced. “You know, to study our…genetics. There’s this Leda disease…”

“Blood samples? You couldn’t come up with a more creative code for shagging?”

“Felix! No, it’s strictly, um, business. We’re professional, you know, as scientists…”

“Right. So you two are a thing now? And will you wipe off that stupid grin already? Kira’s been kidnapped.”

Cosima quickly swapped her expression for a frown. “What?! By who?”

“Now that we have you back on planet earth, Sarah reckons Dyad and Rachel kidnapped her. And maybe you can help. Tap Delphine for what she knows when she comes over.”

“Of course, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

 

_Later that night…_

“Are you honestly debating what to wear before she stops by to collect blood samples?” Felix asked, peering over his easel.

“What? No! No Fee, I’m not. I just…want to wear something comfortable.”

Cosima had been down this road before, her heart taking the lead over her mind. The feelings: emotionally, intellectually, physically…almost everything about the French doctor made her feel whole.

But did it all make any sense? The two of them, together, with diverging viewpoints on the science. The differences were bound to lead to more friction in the future. Delphine appeared naïve and trusting, but what did the scientist really know about her? Was it all an act, that she was in love with her? In the end, wouldn’t her loyalties lie with the Neolutionist cause? And if none of it made sense, shouldn’t Cosima just end it and move on, spare both parties from the angst of an inevitable split?

That was the most likely outcome: all said and done, with or without Dyad, they would have likely parted ways by next summer. Delphine would go on to marry a successful man and Cosima would move in with a hipster woman. Thus was fate.

Yes, this was a bad idea, a terrible one. And Delphine, kind as her words were – who wouldn’t fall in love with someone who utters them in a sexy French accent and kisses you in such a way? – they were just words. How much time did they really get to know and understand each other? Besides, how could anyone fall so deeply in love after just a few short interactions?

A knock at the door interrupted the scientist’s introspection. “Cosima?”

“Speak of the devil,” Felix took off his artist apron and crossed his arms. “I’ll leave you two and your blood samples at it. I’m taking a bath.”

 

_You still work for Dyad._

_Yes, but on your behalf._

_This is my biology. It’s my decision, okay?_

It was adorable, really, how much her naïve puppy still bought into the ruse that working for Dyad would somehow protect her subject. The samples retrieved, Delphine removed her glove and held Cosima in her arms. But no, the scientist couldn’t let her guard down and become a slave to her feelings. She knew better, and her sisters depended on her to remain focused and rational.

“Hey, about last night,” Cosima said.

“Did I…go too far?” Delphine responded sheepishly. “I know we’re not together, it’s not like that…”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I appreciate your support, I really do. It’s just…I don’t see how this is going to work. I mean, do you see how this can work? I know I was the one who initiated it, but…

“But our relationship, even without all the cloning bullshit, it would have just ended up being a fling. It feels great, it felt great, in that moment. But the feelings come at you quick and die out even quicker. I often plunge into these things headfirst without thinking straight. But you’ll find someone. Some great guy, or girl, it won’t come hard for you. But we can remain friends and have our Eskimo pie dates.”

“I don’t think of it as a…fling,” Delphine replied. “Do you believe I was just saying those words to you?”

“No, I think you meant every word. I don’t blame you, or me, for any of this. It’s just…please understand why I need this space. With you still working at the Dyad and all.”

“Okay. I’ll go. Cosima…I really am only working to protect you.”

“Yeah.” _You go on believing that._ “I’ll escort you out.” Cosima reached out a hand, but the doctor slipped away.

Did she just make another mistake? No, this was how it had to be. There will be other women. What was she expecting, to one day marry her? The mysterious monitor from Dyad. It was an alluring, seductive relationship challenged only by reality. She would need to keep her distance.

_You’re never going to find another woman like her._

Delphine looked back one more time, mustered a smile, and slid the door shut. _Goddammit!_ Cosima cursed her unruly mind, tugged the door open, and rushed out of the loft. She dashed down the stairs and stepped out into the cold, panting as she looked left and right. Delphine had just rounded a corner, a suitcase with the blood samples in hand. _Wait!_

“Cosima?” Delphine stood with one hand clutched on the door handle of her car. “Did I forget something?”

“No,” Cosima gasped, sprinting to the doctor’s side, and they held hands. “I just…I’m sorry, but I have to do this…” The scientist pressed her lips against her monitor’s; they were as smooth and soft as she recalled from the night before.

A few seconds in, Cosima pulled back but found it difficult, like resisting a magnetic force. Delphine placed her hands on the scientist’s face, victory at hand. The doctor was not about to squander this opportunity, and she brought them in closer, almost knocking off her beloved's glasses.

Their desires morphed into another all-encompassing kiss, and the only thing Cosima feared was the moment they would inevitably part ways. Finally, Delphine released her, knowing she had the scientist right where she wanted her.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, and to be honest I never really did,” Cosima stuttered. “I…”

“Okay then, I guess we’ll continue…whatever this is,” Delphine smiled, stroking her beloved’s cheek. “You can call it what you want.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Cosima returned to the loft, a wide grin on her face, and jumped back, startled to find Felix in a bathrobe, plopped on the sofa, a smug expression on his face. “What?”

Felix shot her a knowing look. “Couldn’t pull the trigger? It’s gotta be the hair.”

“Look – it was a purely informative meeting in a professional context.”

“Cosima…”

“Delphine told me she doesn’t think Dyad took Kira, but they’re hosting a gala tomorrow night. Maybe I can go and ask Leekie myself...”

“Um, Cosima…”

“What?”

“You got lipstick smudged all over your mouth.”


	4. The Reluctant Monitor

_What kind of life is this to live, if you can’t have freedom?_

 

_The morning after the Dyad gala…_

Delphine didn’t even have time to remove her makeup when she was summoned to Dr. Leekie’s Dyad office. It was 1:00 a.m. in the morning, and while her boss could be eccentric at times, she had not anticipated the emergency meeting.

She counted three other individuals standing at the office: a well-built man in a leather jacket, a portly man in gym clothes, and an emotionless man in a suit who she recognized as Daniel, one of the top enforcers at the Dyad.

“Glad you could finally join us,” Leekie said as she entered. Only one of his lights was turned on; otherwise the office was dark, illuminated by the glow of the city lights outside. A younger man entered the office soon after.

“About time, Hector.” Leekie folded his hands.

“Aldous, what is the meaning of all this?” Delphine asked.

“The monitor program will be disbanded. All of you, relieved of your duties by the end of the year.”

The doctor’s heart skipped a beat. It sounded too good to be true. No more lying to Cosima. They could live out their lives, not as monitor and subject, but as a real couple. Finally. It was all happening so fast.

“So that was it?” the portly man asked. “Why call us here? You could have texted me.”

“Of course, your time is valuable, Donnie,” Leekie replied. “And your subject was the only one who signed the agreement, so there is not much to discuss on your end. You will still be asked to monitor your subject until she completes her medical screening.”

“Am I excused?”

“Yes. I will send you further instructions, and my driver will send you home. But the rest of you, stay.”

“Thank you.” Donnie left, followed by two guards.

“Dyad has poured billions into this project,” the man in the leather jacket said. “You wouldn’t be pulling the plug if there wasn’t a good reason for it. They’re self-aware, and if they were to go public the board wouldn’t stand for it. Surely you recognize by now how invested we are in the clones. We will not let you harm them.”

“Clones?” Hector asked. “Is this what it’s all about?”

“This part does not concern you,” Leekie replied and turned to his inquirer. “Careful, Paul. This can all be over soon, and you're on thin ice as it is. You won’t want to be the one who topples the house of cards.”

“Aldous, I speak out of respect as a colleague,” Delphine spoke up. “But there is nothing practical or useful in Cosima’s DNA, or in any of the sisters. To be honest, Dyad needs to cut its losses…”

“After one last, thorough study. Your clones are to report here. The others will be summoned to their nearest Dyad subsidiary.”

“Were the previous operations not enough?” Paul challenged Leekie, his voice growing angrier. “The experiments you conducted on Beth, on Sarah, over and over again! And each time, nothing!”

“Krystal is growing suspicious,” Hector added. “I may not be able to contain her curiosity.”

Leekie leaned back into his chair and brought a finger to his lips. “If you want your subjects removed from this study, as I do, then you will understand…”

“And if you finally find something?” Paul moved towards Leekie’s desk. “A scientific goldmine? Then what? The studies resume? Sarah never signed any damn agreement. This is bullshit!”

“It matters not if she did,” Leekie replied. “She is property of Dyad, as are all of the clones. This was not my decision, it’s simply the fact of the matter. And now, I need you all to bring your subjects in. Make it sound like you’re taking them on a trip to a secluded canyon, somewhere that will buy us a few weeks, when none of their loved ones will inquire where they are.”

“What type of operations did you have in mind?” Delphine asked. “I need to be briefed on everything you’re planning to do.”

Leekie scoffed. “And what about you, Hector? Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft.”

“I can’t wait until someone finally rids me of her. Two years, our agreement said.”

Leekie turned his attention to Paul and Delphine. “Listen. It is the greatest act of mercy that I’m asking you two, who know your subjects so intimately and have earned their trust, to escort them back to where they have always belonged.”

Paul walked up to the edge of Leekie’s desk, jabbing a finger in the air. “I won’t stand for this. I won’t do it!”

“If you don’t, I will simply send my men to find her. Either way, it will be done,” Leekie smirked. “You can never leave the Institute, you know that. As soon as people find out what happened, what you did in Afghanistan…you’ll be court martialed. You are done, finished. You know it.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Do it! I would sooner sacrifice my reputation than betray her!” Paul stormed out of the office.

"He'll be back," Leekie muttered, turning to the remaining three monitors as though nothing had happened. “Daniel, Rachel has been exempted from the experiment. You are still to keep an eye on her. As for you two, can I count on your cooperation?”

“It won’t be easy, but I’ll do my best, Dr. Leekie,” Hector said. “Whatever happens after, it’s in your hands.”

“Good,” Leekie replied. “And you? Surely you understand the circumstances.”

“As you say, Aldous,” Delphine said. “I will bring her to you, but only so we can find her cure.”

“324B21. She’s a stubborn, inquisitive one. Are you certain she will trust you enough to come?”

“I will make her if necessary.”

“Excellent. Anything else?”

“I do have one request. I need to be present, when the studies are conducted. Whenever possible, allow me to be the one to operate. Anything you find, I should be the first to take a look at it. And anything related to a possible cure, must be pursued as the first priority.”

“You ask for much, Delphine,” Leekie frowned. “You know, you initially balked when we tasked you with monitoring her. You wanted a real research job, something with gravitas, and now you can’t bear to leave her case!

“I’ve actually met a few monitors like you. They grow so emotionally attached to their subjects, they weep for them! They become best friends, lovers…But you know what always ends up happening? As professionals, when they recognize the extent of these feelings, they remove themselves from the study, like our friend Paul.

“However…it can be arranged. You bring her to us, and I’ll relay your conditions to our team. But you’ll have to do something for me in return. Once we complete the experiments, I want Cosima working at the Dyad, studying the findings.”

Delphine nodded in agreement. She had to. She must. If this was her subject’s fate, then the doctor needed to be the one to escort her to the lab, not anyone else. The scientist would never understand, but she didn’t need her to. All that mattered was that they find the cure.

“One more thing,” Delphine said. “If Cosima agrees to work at the lab, I need to be the one working with her. No one else, unless I clear it.”

“You can’t get your hands off your subject! To be honest, I never took you as a lesbian.”

Delphine tried to conceal her surprise. How did he know about her feelings?

“Whatever you identify, it doesn’t matter to me. Bring her in. That is all.”

The doctor knew she had no choice. Everything was for Cosima’s own good. As she entered the parking structure, the man in the leather jacket stopped her.

“You,” Delphine said. “You’re Sarah’s monitor.”

“We can’t stand for this.” Paul shook his head. “The woman they’re having you monitor, you care for her, don’t you?”

“Leave me to care for my subject, and you to care for yours. You know, by rebelling against Leekie you just left her in the hands of unknown Dyad agents.”

“Then don’t come crying to me when she places a gun to her temple to evade capture,” Paul scoffed. “God, what kind of life is this to live, if you can’t have freedom?”

“I agree that is no life to live, but Leekie did say that after this study, it will all be over. He’s ending the monitor program…”

“And you believe him? He’s never lied to you before? How daft are you?”

“What are you planning? To run off with Sarah? They’ll find you. Anyone they want eliminated always ends up dead.”

“It’s worth a shot. If there is nothing worth putting your life on the line for, then maybe there was nothing worth living for to begin with.”

Before Delphine could respond, Paul turned around and left. It didn’t matter to him if he didn’t have any allies in this fight.

 

A few hours later, Cosima received a call from Sarah.

“In short, shit went down,” Sarah recounted the events of the night before. “Don’t cover for me, just tell them you know nothing and we in no way colluded. Are you still seeing Delphine?”

“She’s coming over in a bit to drive me to the Dyad. Why you ask?”

“Um, because she kissed me last night, thinking I was you, so either you two are still together or you gave her the wrong impression.”

“Oh…well, you’re welcome. Did she figure it out?”

“Remind me how we’re related again? Yes, she was able to deduce something was up a few seconds in. Cos…you think just because you’re Miss PhD candidate you could be immune to terrible decision-making. But you still need to stay far away from her. She’s your monitor.”

“Hey, at least she didn’t give you away, did she?”

“Good luck playing the ‘But She’s Hot’ card when they turn you into Dyad’s test monkey.”

“And she’s here. Stay safe, Sarah. Keep me updated on Kira.”

 

“So this is the mysterious Dyad Institute,” Cosima followed Delphine down the hallway. “I’m not in any trouble, am I? It was Sarah, not me, at the gala…”

“Cosima…do you trust me?”

“Hm? Well…I want to. Is there something you want to tell me? I mean,” Cosima dropped her voice to a whisper. “They don’t know you let Sarah go, right? Just tell them you thought it was me…”

“It’s not that…I…” Was there still time to turn back? The doctor had contemplated hiring a fixer to take Cosima away. But no, the scientist should be free to conduct life-changing scientific research out in the open, and they still had a cure to find.

They were coming up to a fire escape. She could push the scientist out, scream at her to run while she fends off the thirty Dyad agents who would surely come charging forward to seize the clone.

Delphine felt her smartphone buzzing in her pocket and picked up the call. It was Leekie.

“Change in plans,” Leekie said. “I was on a call this morning, with Marion from Topside. The authorities are still investigating the case at the diner, a Castor and Leda clone stirring up trouble…it’s a delicate time and they may start connecting the dots. We’ll need to keep a low profile at this time.

“So for now, I will need you to continue what you’re doing. We’re suspending the in-depth study until further notice. Bring Cosima directly to my office and we will have her working on a cure.”

“Yes. I understand.” Delphine ended the call and exhaled a sigh of relief.

“Who was that?” Cosima asked.

“How could I forget? There is actually a much shorter route to where we need to go. Follow me.”

 

***

 

“So…even Paul spoke up and fought for us. Even he gets it.” Cosima crosses her arms. They face each other in Siobhan’s bedroom, digesting Delphine’s story. “You knew, right? The type of operations Dyad is willing to run on its subjects? I trusted you, and I followed you right into their trap."

“I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t believe it was the best way to protect you,” Delphine replies. “If I refused, they would have just reassigned you to someone else and we needed to find your treatment…”

“That decision was not yours to make!” Cosima is so upset she could barely process the words coming from her mouth. “You were my monitor, not my master! You should have brought this up to me, and let me decide! And you sure as hell shouldn't have waited until a few days before the wedding to tell me!"

"What does it matter now; it's over and it's done!" the doctor replies. "Why should I have brought this up and make you feel anxious and upset? You may place all the blame on me, but given the circumstances..."

"No, this isn't your fault," the scientist scoffs. "Why should I blame you, when I knew this was the type of person you’re always going to be? And to discover you actually think this way...God, we’re so different!”

“I know, I'm a liar and that's all you'll ever think of me as. I accept it. But believe me on one thing. I love you, Cosima. I love you as much as I am capable of loving anything in this world.”

“Anyone can fall madly in love! Why, if love was all there was to it in a relationship, I wouldn’t have ended it with Shay! There’s more to it than that! Choices matter. Maybe it’s true, that our values could never sync, that we will always be at war over something as basic as standing up to wrong. Where is your integrity? Where are your principles?”

“I can understand if you feel you can no longer trust me, if you don't want me anymore…but I still want to cure your sisters with you. We work better as a team.”

The scientist stands facing the door. “I…need a moment. To think.”

“Please…please believe me.”

Cosima picks up her coat and abruptly exits the bedroom. Delphine hears footsteps leading down the stairs and a short scuffle by the front door.

“Cos?” a British accent calls out. “What the hell is going on?”

The doctor remains seated on the bed, passively listening to the slam of the front door and the roar of a car engine. A few seconds later, Sarah appears at the bedroom doorway.

“Where the hell is she off to?"


	5. The Glass Wall

_I think they both needed someone to hold on to._

 

The morning after Kira was first kidnapped by Rachel, Cosima awoke from her hospital bed at the Dyad Institute. It had been weeks since the night Delphine told her to defy Neolution.

Cosima turned around, noticing a visitor sitting at the edge of the bed. Although the scientist was not wearing her glasses, the golden curls were unmistakable. Delphine was there, but something was not right. The doctor had been weeping, who knows for how long, tears staining her cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Cosima propped herself up to one side.

The doctor whimpered, gasping for breath. “I made a terrible mistake.”

“What have you done?” _What did she do now?_

Delphine shuddered, shaking her head. She was afraid to say much more, immersed in misery and guilt. Sobbing.

“I saw something on Rachel’s computer,” she managed to sputter. “She planted information to mislead me…and I believed Siobhan’s friend was a mole for Dyad. I warned Sarah…but this was part of Rachel’s plan. While speaking with Sarah, I became a diversion…Rachel took advantage of the confusion and kidnapped Kira. Sarah’s daughter is gone.”

“What?!” The scientist reached for her glasses and noticed her phone ringing. It’s Sarah, calling for the ninth time.

“Hold on.” Cosima took the call. “Sarah, oh my God.”

“It’s Felix,” Sarah’s brother said from the other line. “Dyad took Kira last night.”

“Let me talk to Sarah.”

“I don’t think it would be appropriate for her to come to the phone right now.”

Cosima flashed a look of suspicion at Delphine, who nodded and left the room.

Finally, Sarah spoke, her voice seething. “Your French twat! If anything happens to my daughter it’s on her. She’s working with Rachel!”

“What? She’s saying it wasn’t intentional.” Outside, the doctor was pacing hastily back and forth.

“Are you kidding me – she’s the reason Kira was taken!”

“She’ll make it right.”

“Unless Kira’s safely home, nothing is going to make this right! When has your damn monitor ever proven to be trustworthy?!” Sarah was bawling so loudly Cosima was certain Delphine could hear her, even off speakerphone.

“She helped us decode the genome and…”

“She had Kira put under and her bone marrow harvested…and did she even deliver them to you?”

“Wait, when did this happen? I already had Kira’s cells from her tooth. I never asked for her bone marrow!”

“Stay away from that woman! She’s lied before and she’ll do it again!”

“Sarah,” Cosima sighed. “I know why you have your suspicions; she sold out your name. Heck, she turned over my blood samples to Leekie, lied to my face when she swore she wouldn’t…but I just…I don’t think she would purposely hurt Kira.” She had withheld the girl’s name from Dr. Leekie, after all.

The scientist continues: “I’m not condoning what she did, but…it’s different. At least the shit she’s done isn’t self-serving –”

“So if it’s a selfless lie, that’s all fine then? I suppose that settles it.”

“It’s...that’s not what I mean, of course she shouldn’t have lied, but her motives…” Speaking of motives, what exactly were they?

“All this time, when we were all pleading, screaming at you to turn away from her, what did you do? You had to poke the bear. You had to prove that you were the smart one, the rational one, perfectly capable of separating your emotions from the mission and making logical decisions – and what came of it? If you don’t care about your life, fine, but don’t drag us down with you!”

Her sister had a good point. Cosima knew from the start that Delphine was her monitor, that her loyalty would surely lie with her employer and that she had sold them out for money. But the kisses were overwhelming, the scientist trapped in an entranced state, and against her better judgment she fell headfirst into a relationship that made zero sense. And when they finally made love, sure the doctor got a little carried away, and that raised a few eyebrows but…

“Cosima! I want to hear you say it. End it, or you’ll jeopardize us all! Do not trust that woman! Stay away!”

Cosima peered out the doorway and noticed Delphine standing still, one hand touching her chin. “Okay, I understand. Keep me posted. I’ll let you know if I hear anything on my end.” She ended the call. “Um…Delphine?”

The doctor sheepishly returned to the room, a look of dejection on her face. This was the scientist’s moment of truth. To trust her monitor or not, after such an act of betrayal. She could never forsake her sister Sarah; that was non-negotiable.

Cosima slowly removed her cannula, lifted herself up from the bed, and walked across the room. Her brow was furrowed, and doubt cast itself on her face. The doctor stared back anxiously, and soon they stood face-to-face.

The scientist looked her monitor in the eye, slowly extended her arms, and wrapped her in an embrace. For the next minute, they stood in silence, the doctor stunned in complete surprise.

“You made a mistake, you’ll make more. That’s part of life,” Cosima finally said. She returned to the hospital bed. “Can you come here, for a moment?”

Delphine was confused but did as her subject instructed. Slowly, they lie down together, with the doctor resting at the top and the scientist holding her from below.

_Who was this woman? Who are you? Was she just pretending she cared to get closer and betray the Leda sisters all over again?_

They stayed this way for a few minutes in perfect silence, Delphine feeling her subject’s heart beating below her, Cosima stroking the doctor’s back.

As much as she longed for certainty, Cosima understood science couldn’t explain everything in the universe. What logical explanation was there for the feelings people have held, through all of humanity, for lovers who just weren’t right for them? What led them to create so much unnecessary friction and so much pain, driven mad by this irrational, frivolous passion?

_Or was this where they always belonged, in each other’s arms, them against the world? An impossible relationship defined by wants and needs._

“What do you think she did?” Felix asked, standing in the living room of Siobhan’s house. “You think she turned her away?”

“Knowing her…no, I don’t think she did.” Sarah looked up from her smartphone. “I think…they both needed someone to hold on to.”

And then she was gone. The French doctor was forced onto a flight to Frankfurt, on Rachel’s orders. That morning would be the last time the clone and her monitor shared a pleasant, peaceful moment together for a long time.

 

***

 

Hours had elapsed since Cosima left the house. Regardless, Delphine would not fall asleep tonight. She glances at the bedside table, to the engagement ring they had chosen together. 

Why, why did she always have to screw it up? Finally, she had met someone who genuinely loved her, and again, she would be the reason this beautiful relationship unraveled. No matter how pure her intentions may be, a lifetime of good works will never compensate for her acts of betrayal.

Delphine curls up on the bed, her tears dotting the pillow and her body trembling in chills of agony. Cosima was such a good person, so caring and thoughtful, and to be the subject of her ire, to throw away everything they had together...This was it. When her fiancée leaves, so would Sarah and the rest of the Clone Club. She would have nothing left. Should she start packing now?

The doctor hears a car pull up to the driveway, then another. The front door opens, and Sarah mutters something undecipherable to her guest.

Finally, Delphine makes out the faint shadow of her fiancée framed in the bedroom doorway. Cosima takes off her jacket, climbs into bed, and wraps an arm around the doctor, softly resting her head on her fiancée’s chest. It frightened the scientist, lying next to another red-blooded human being night after night, not having any idea what was going through the mind of the person beside her.

Cosima begins to whisper, unsure if her fiancée was still awake. “Hey. I’m sorry if I scared you. Did you really think I would ever leave you?”

Delphine turns her face away, fighting back a fresh wave of tears, not that it mattered as Cosima couldn't see her face in the dark. The scientist did experience a pang of guilt, that her fiancée had loved her so much for so long, yet she had discounted and pushed aside their relationship for longer than she needed to.

“I know you’ve lived your whole life surrounded by people who only consider how you could serve them with that brilliant mind of yours,” Cosima begins. “And in spite of that, you’ve still opened up to me, continued to demonstrate your love in the best way you know how, which is to protect me.

“Sometimes I feel like…there’s this glass wall separating us. We are right here, so close to each other. I would place a hand against the glass to meet yours, but I can’t get past that wall to you. And I wanted so much to break through and talk to you, and to hold you, and to love you.

“I know the times we lived in were different back then. The conflict we endured brought us together; it taught us not to be lazy and self-satisfied in our relationship. But I don't want us to continue this cycle of deception and penance. And I want you to know, while I wished you had told me this sooner, I trust you. And I don't want you to ever question how much love I have for you.” Cosima holds her fiancée tightly as tears drip down her chin.

“But I'm also scared, Delphine. I know I'm not able to humanly give you as much love and kindness as you deserve. In the end, I’m only human, my love is only conditional. I know none of this was what I ever envisioned for my life, being a clone, being with you, none of it. But even as I was stewing in my car outside, I knew this much. That I have never been more certain of anything in my life, than that I want to be with this woman. I'm yours, all of me.”

Delphine instinctively turns to her side and presses her thumbs against Cosima’s cheeks to wipe away the tears. She hugs her, kissing her tear-stained face.

“ _Ma chèrie, je suis profondément désolé_ …”

“You take all the tears, the pain, the insults I throw at you,” Cosima whispers. “You have sacrificed everything for us, and I don’t want you to live your life in shame. I forgive you, completely, and I hope you’ll forgive me as well.”

Delphine nods. “There is nothing to forgive, _ma bien-aimée_. A blind love is an unsustainable one; it would be meaningless to me if you offered it. I would prefer we challenge and support one another, to become our better selves.”

Cosima smiles through her tears and reaches for her fiancée’s hand. “I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing and no one who can ever take away what we have. No outside factors. We are the only ones who can end this relationship.”

Delphine kisses her fiancée, running her fingers through the braids, and smiles contently. There was one more thing she had left to say, something she had not wanted to burden Cosima with. But it was something the scientist would certainly want to know.

But as Cosima falls asleep in the arms of her soon-to-be wife, Delphine didn’t want to ruin this moment with the secrets she still harbored. Not now.

_Do you, Cosima Niehaus, take Delphine Cormier and her magical hair to be your lawfully wedded wife, to trust and honor her for as long as you both shall live?_

_With all my heart._

_And do you, Delphine Cormier, take Dr. Cosima Niehaus, PhD in Experimental Evolutionary Developmental Biology, to be your spouse for life, to love and protect her till death do you part?_

_Je fais absolument._


	6. The Trigger

**– Part Two: Collision –**

_Three years later…_

Life was different now from Delphine’s lonely days as a monitor: there was a reason for her to look forward to coming home each night. Cosima would greet her in a warm embrace, dinner would be served, and the doctor would give thanks, kissing her wife on the cheek. They spoke French more frequently now, with Cosima making the effort to learn and deploying it regularly with mixed success.

Afterward, they would head out for a stroll and swap work horror stories. Delphine now worked in a corporate office, and Cosima taught at a university. Upon their return home, they would be on their laptops catching up with work or destressing before the television over Eskimo pie and a pot of coffee.

At night, they would retreat to their apartment bedroom: Delphine would sing as they fall asleep in each other’s arms. Then in the morning, the cycle would begin anew, with Cosima waking up early just to prepare her wife breakfast and earn a kiss goodbye. The doctor knew that as soon as she left, her wife would head straight to bed.

Momentos of their Cure the Ledas tour line their apartment; photographs with and gifts from the sisters they encountered: sea shells from Australia, an ornate tea set from Hong Kong, a Dalecarlian horse from Sweden, lacquer nesting dolls from Russia…

On this particular night, Delphine opens the door to find Cosima waiting on the couch, a laptop resting on her stomach.

“Look like I’m getting a shiny new title: Dr. Niehaus, Assistant Professor at the University of Toronto.” The scientist places the laptop on the table and stands up, jumping up and down as the doctor wraps her arms around her wife. “Wish me luck. I’m terrible at public speaking.”

“I knew they would offer you the position,” Delphine says. “How could they pass you up? You will be fine, _chèrie_. You’ll have support from the faculty, not to mention from all of us. And what is anxiousness but misdirected excitement? You can tell Sarah now that we’re moving back.”

“It’s all finalized? Your boss approved your transfer?”

“Yes, Vijay said he would finalize it once he found a suitable director for the Chatterjee Institute's new Toronto office.”

“And…”

“He said he wasn’t able to recruit one but that I was the most qualified. So the only way he would permit the transfer is if I became the director.”

“Well? You said yes, right?”

“But Cosima, I am not the most qualified.”

“Since when have you ever held yourself back? Weren’t you interim director at the Dyad with its 27,000 employees? And a director at Markson…”

“There was something greater than ambition that led me to accept the top job at Dyad. And Markson…I actually wasn’t the best director.”

“If Vijay believes you are the most competent, then it’s your duty.”

“I’ll work long hours again…and the last time I did…”

Cosima wraps an arm around her wife’s shoulder and smiles. “I’ve developed thicker skin since then. As long as this is what you want and you’re able to handle it, I’ll be here to support you.”

“If you insist,” Delphine grins. “I also wanted to discuss two things with you. One, Lucia Alarcón called me on my way home from work.”

“She’s from Clone Club Columbia right?”

“That’s the one. She’s been living with Camilla Torres, and they pass as twins.”

“You mean Camilla Caliente? The one who flirted with you?”

“I think the correct term is ‘hit on,’ but yes. Lucia said Camilla left to grab something from the store one afternoon and disappeared, just like that. No note, no traces, nothing. It’s been three days, but the local authorities have nowhere to start, and Lucia’s growing worried. Camilla isn’t the type to pull something like this.”

“You think maybe…Neolution has something to do with her disappearance?”

“Ah, _chèrie,_ I don’t even want to consider the possibility. I was hoping we can talk to Lucia tonight and alert all the Leda sisters about this, but I don’t want anyone to panic if it isn’t necessary.”

“Of course not. But she’s not the first to vanish. No one knows where Marta went.”

Leda clone 9MTA67, better known as Marta, was one of three survivors of the 50 Missing Ledas, who were raised by Dyad solely for experimentation. One died shortly after rescue, one assimilated well, and Marta fell off the radar.

Delphine takes out her smartphone and pulls up a file sent by an anonymous caller. “I’ve been receiving strange texts lately, encrypted files...”

“Don’t open them. Have Hell Wizard take a look at that. Who do you think is sending them?”

The doctor shrugs. “I have no idea, and I’m unable to trace the caller. When I dial the number, the call goes straight to voicemail, and I suspect the texts are being sent from a burner phone. I wish we could devote more time into finding Camilla, and Marta…” Her body begins to quiver.

“We’ll figure it out,” Cosima says, reaching over to hold her wife’s hand. “We always do.”

 

A month later, Cosima and Delphine make the long trek to Toronto, where they would be staying with Sarah and Kira until they secure a long term housing arrangement. It was Sarah’s hope to keep the original, self-aware Leda sisters close together.

Sarah had just completed basic training with the Canadian Armed Forces, and she was on track for a promotion to corporal. There weren’t many options open to a high school dropout with a criminal record who had to petition the state insisting she was still alive.

“This place is almost as I remember it,” Cosima observes as they unpack their bags. Dirty dishes protrude from the malfunctioning dishwasher, dust builds up on top of existing dust, and the carpets are stained with an unknown solvent…gasoline?

“Yes, I know, ever since S died I haven’t got time to tidy up the house,” Sarah says.

“Don’t worry, I’ll see to it that this place is spotless by the end of the month.”

“You hear anything about Camilla?”

The scientist shakes her head. “Nothing. I also haven’t heard back from one of the Australian clones. Unfortunately, of all the clones that could have gone missing, Stephanie Lloyd is still up and kicking.”

“Cosima.” Delphine furrows her brow.

“I’m just saying she’s a pain in the ass! Always hitting us sisters up for money. We never have to check on her; if she doesn’t message any of us with some get rich quick scheme in a week or so we know something’s up.”

“Well, Art says he’s having a look at it with CSIS,” Sarah replies.  “He believes the disappearances might be connected.”

Art Bell was a friend who assisted the Clone Club in their fight against Neolution. A former detective with the Toronto Police Department, he now serves as a CSIS agent.

“If it’s Neolution, they’ve got no right to any of us,” Cosima says. “Delphine emancipated us all.”

“Yeah, but considering the whole cloning experiment was illegal, I frankly don’t think they give a damn,” Sarah replies.

“Cosima, you’re going to be late to your department meeting,” Delphine notes.

“That’s right!” With a parting kiss, the scientist drives off to the University of Toronto.

 

This was her type of place: as much as she loved Berkeley, Cosima couldn’t wait to immerse herself with the scientific community in Toronto.

And she was late. The scientist slips into the meeting room and is surprised to find professors milling about, chatting with plates of cake and cups of soda in their hands. Balloons litter the ceiling, and a few people are even wearing party hats.

“Dr. Niehaus!” A short, balding man with a round face makes his way to Cosima, offering his hand. “Samir Rankin, Ecology & Evolutionary Biology Department Chair. But call me Sam, it’s easier that way.”

“Yes, I know you. You were on the hiring committee! It’s an honor.”

“The honor is ours. I was hoping our first meeting of the year could be a bit more…festive. Let me introduce you to everyone, get you a hat...”

They make the rounds, shaking every available hand, and Cosima notices a man with a familiar face standing over the cake. They make eye contact for a brief second, and then he heads for the exit.

“How could I forget?” Sam makes his way over to the man. “Tony, come welcome our new colleague, Cosima Niehaus. Cosima, this is Professor Tony Arias.”

“Nice to meet you.” The man speaks in a terrible British accent, and he offers a hand.

“Pleasure is mine, Professor Arias.” Cosima shakes his hand.

The professor appears to be wearing a wig, and even his beard seems fake. After all these years, the scientist could still recognize the man instantly. He was Professor Russell Sanek, the Neolutionist who manipulated her into developing a cure for his former leader under the guise of a PhD dissertation project. After Sanek was discovered, he fled with Cosima’s research, and she never had the chance to confront him.

“I hear you’ve only had two years of real work experience when they hired you,” Sanek says. “You must feel so fortunate to be offered a spot in our prestigious department.”

“I know. They must not have great vetting here,” she returns the taunt.

“Tony and I have been conducting research on alternatives to antibiotics,” Sam grins, unaware of their past history. “You know, for when humanity’s day of reckoning comes knocking. I’ll add you to our team.”

Sanek doesn’t bother to feign delight, and he abruptly leaves the boardroom.

“Excuse me,” Cosima follows the professor outside. “Um…Dr. San–”

“No, you listen carefully to every word I’m about to say.” Sanek turns around, dropping his voice to a menacing whisper. “I will not allow you to dictate how I live my life. I’ve worked too damn hard to get to where I am.”

“How did you get there, doctor? With those papers you plagiarized and the unethical studies you…”

Sanek jabs a finger forcefully against Cosima’s chest. “I’m actually keeping my family together by making a name for myself, and you will not be the one to tear it all down. So I’m going to give you a chance, Miss Niehaus, that’s right, one chance. You shut the hell up, turn down Rankin’s offer, and we go about our lives as it were.

“But if you want to talk, want to blow up all this goodwill I’m offering, then I will make you a promise. And I promise, with all that I have, so long as there is breath in my body, I will destroy your life. I will make it a living hell for you and everyone that you love. This is not a bluff, it is a promise, I swear it on my father’s grave I will.”

Cosima opens her mouth to speak, but Sam opens the door and calls out. “Hey, you two! We’re starting the meeting for real now. Come back!” Sanek shoots the scientist one last look of disdain before storming back to the room.

 _Fuck this guy._ For much of her interaction with Sanek, Cosima had thought of the professor as a real gentleman, as charismatic as he was brilliant. She had held great admiration for him, but underneath that pleasant veneer was an insecure and callous, vindictive man. The scientist would need time to mull over what just happened before planning her next step.

 

“You’re certain he’s the one?”

“If I wasn’t, he sure as hell confirmed it to my face.”

Cosima sits in the living room that night, discussing the encounter with Delphine and Sarah.

“Don’t live your life in fear, Cos,” Sarah says. “Out the twat.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” the scientist replies. “That’s the thing about harassment. People like Sanek, who think they can push over anyone they want, they’re never content with bullying just one person. I could handle him, but I don’t want any other students or faculty hurt.”

“Let’s think this over,” Delphine dissents. “We don’t know what he is capable of, and as a Neolutionist, he may have the means to back up his threats. It might be a bluff, it might not. We don’t know right now, and I prefer we make a decision after our emotions cool.”

“I’ll feel better when he’s out of our lives for good,” the scientist says. “He needs to account for what he’s done.”

“I don’t disagree with you,” Delphine replies. “I just think we need more information. What is he doing in Toronto, the birthplace of Dyad? He could be our link to whatever Neolution is plotting.”

“Or he really is delusional enough to believe he can become a renowned and respected scientist.”

“I don’t know the guy, but think he’s bluffing,” Sarah says. “The Leda sisters don’t respond well to blackmail. You can report him in your own time, when you feel ready, but we can’t have him going around harming others. You mentioned it yourself.”

Cosima looks over to Delphine, who shrugs and sighs.

“It’s your decision. Whatever you decide, be careful.” For a moment, the doctor appears to be on the verge of tears but holds it together.

The scientist nods. “I agree that we shouldn’t move hastily on this. But before the start of the school year, I need to make a decision.”

 

Lying in bed that night, Delphine experiences a sharp pain in her chest. Her body trembles as sweat travels down her brow. Sensing something is wrong, Cosima wakes up and places an arm around her wife.

“Hey, I’m right here,” Cosima whispers, in spite of being half-asleep. “Deep breaths. Five four three two one. Exhale. Good.”

“I…I need…”

“Would you like some warm water?” the scientist asks, stroking her wife’s hair. The doctor nods. “I'll be right back.”

Cosima returns soon after, helping Delphine sit up and bringing the fluids to her lips. She then helps her lie down, tucking her gently back into bed.

“I...I don't think I can…go to sleep and dream,” the doctor stutters.

“The fine. Then talk to me?”

“You have to report to the lab early tomorrow morning.”

“But I want to talk. We hardly have the time now to girl chat. Come on.”

Delphine wishes she could smile in return, but by now, she knows better than to pretend in front of her wife.

“Was Sanek’s return a trigger?”

“It's possible…with the missing sisters, relocating to Toronto...”

“I’m here for you, love,” Cosima holds her wife tightly in her arms. “I’m right here. Anything you need, just let me know.”


	7. The Missing Ledas

_As long as there is human greed, the war never ceases._

 

Cosima and Delphine stand outside of Scott’s new townhouse and ring the doorbell. A bespectacled science geek opens the door.

“Hey Scotty!” Cosima moves in to hug her friend. “It’s been like, a year since we last met? We brought wine and ice cream.”

“I’m so happy we can all be closer together,” Scott gives Delphine a hug. “I’ll take that from your hands. Katie’s at the supermarket, picking up a few things for our fusion tacos.”

Katie was Scott’s girlfriend and Delphine’s former assistant. After completing her MBA, she agreed to serve as Delphine’s chief-of-staff during her manager’s transition to director.

“You didn’t need to go all out for us,” Cosima says, taking off her coat. Scott’s cat, Denise, scurries away before settling on the couch. “By the way, when are you popping the question again?”

“Actually, I was hoping to ask Delphine for a favor,” Scott says.

“You’re free to ask it,” the doctor smirks.

“I was wondering if you could help me propose to Katie.”

“You’re certain she’s the love of your life?”

“One hundred percent. She’s also the only love of my life ever, to be exact…Can I propose at the upcoming Chatterjee Institute gala? I can’t afford a fancy venue, and…”

“Weren’t you thinking of proposing at a baseball game?” Delphine asks.

“Yeah, but the Blue Jays didn’t make the playoffs…”

“I think what Delphine means is we’d love to help,” Cosima interjects.

“Is Katie…is she going to say yes?” the doctor asks.

The scientist rolls her eyes. “Is there really any other answer? Scott?”

“I think so. I’ve already secured her parents’ blessing, and we’ve even talked about kids and possibly adopting.”

“You would make such a cool dad,” Cosima grins as they move to the living room. “I could imagine you now, helping them with science projects, constructing space forts on the lawn, lying to mom about ice cream runs...”

“It would be really…awkward, if she turned you down at the gala,” Delphine notes. “Not that she ever said anything suggesting she would…she’s a very private person.”

“Katie’s a true professional, even if she wasn’t going to say yes, she wouldn’t publicly humiliate him with a no, right?” Cosima asks.

“Perhaps not, but then she’ll no doubt receive months of probing questions from curious colleagues.”

“Will you give us one minute, Scott?” Cosima pulls her wife aside, and they begin speaking in French. “What’s wrong with proposing at the gala? This is Scotty we’re talking about, just one little favor.”

“That’s simple to say when you’re not running the event.”

“It’ll be a heartwarming moment. I’d say it may even bolster your company image.”

“But what if it doesn’t? Look, Cosima, I am responsible for 400 jobs right now. If we were an established company, sure, but right now we are still in our infancy. Vijay’s mission is to help people, but that isn’t always profitable, which means everything must be picture perfect for the investors that night.

“On top of it all, the entirety of my corporate experience has been with two dubious corporations, and my reputation isn’t exactly the best. I can’t risk anything, even for this.” They turn back to their friend.

“I mean, it’s okay, Cosima,” Scott says. “Delphine, if it’s a bother it’s fine. I’ll just propose at the park, or on some scenic hike like you two did.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Delphine says.

“Scotty,” Cosima crosses her arms. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you pull the best proposal ever.”

“I’ll help too,” Delphine adds. “Just…not this. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s all right. Would you like to see the ring?” Scott disappears for a minute and returns with a platinum gray box. He opens it and carefully removes the diamond sparkler.

“Now that is lovely,” Cosima coos. “How many diamonds did they encrust on this thing? She’ll totally flip out.”

“If you really want to impress her, I’d get something smaller," the doctor says. "I’ve never seen her wear pretentious jewelry.”

Cosima raises an eyebrow. “What she means is…”

“I knew it,” Scott says. “I wanted to go all out, but she’s right.”

“I’m not saying she won’t love it, because she will appreciate all the effort you made,” Delphine says, before changing the subject. “There was something I wanted to ask you. I don’t need an answer right now but…I would like you to quit your job search right now.”

“Oh…okay. Why?”

“I had a conversation with Vijay earlier this week. He sold off all his patents to fund the institute but retained the Moirae patent.” The Moirae was a memory extraction device she had previously worked on with Scott at their previous employer, Markson.

The doctor continues: “His daughter has been struggling with mental illness for a number of years, and he’s hoping it can be put to use diagnosing people’s…inner demons, helping them deal with their issues through a form of exposure therapy.

“Recently, our staff has been able to utilize the Moirae to recreate our fears in a simulated environment. Through AI, we’ve discovered a way to reconstruct the people in our lives and issues that need to be confronted. We’ve had a few exciting developments, but I can’t think of a better person to help us reach this crazy vision than you.”

“I…I would be honored,” Scott says. “I’ll have to check with Katie first – you know – see if she’s okay with it as we’d technically be co-workers again, but yes, absolutely.”

“Good,” Delphine nods.

Katie returns home soon after, and a visitor follows her inside.

“I was texting Art earlier and invited him over to dinner, if that’s all right,” Scott says.

“It’s more than all right,” Cosima says. “Art, it’s been a long time.”

“Cosima, good to see you,” Art leans forward for a hug, and they take their places at the dining room table. “I wish we could just enjoy a nice dinner together, but there is a serious matter I wanted to discuss with all of you. I’m working on a case at CSIS that could affect all the Leda sisters. I’m not at liberty to comment on it, so keep this within the Clone Club. Are we clear?”

Everyone nods, and Art continues. “As you know, when Markson collapsed, several projects shut down with it: the DWD-Quartz pills, human cloning, the Moirae, mind control microchips…our fear was always that someone out there could get their hands on blueprints, plans…

“Let’s put it this way. If you all of a sudden sweep a ton of expensive gadgets into the black market, it’s only a matter of time before they’re abused. Just one item in the wrong hands and you see something like the full-blown Quartz epidemic now sweeping the streets of cities like Toronto.”

“What are you suggesting?” Cosima asks. “Neolution is still out there, hawking their discoveries?”

“I think the goodies they developed at Markson were too good to pass up,” Art says. “By the time Delphine recovered enough to go back and clean out her desk, a lot of those trinkets moved underground. Now, I can tie the money trail to former Dyad and Markson investor Hashem Al-Khatib, but…it’s almost impossible to extradite him right now given how he’s lined the pockets of the political brass in the U.A.E.”

“Our friend Hell Wizard and I were discussing another Markson-developed product,” Scott explains. “He’s been assisting CSIS: scanning the Dark Web and tracking this peculiar device. It’s called a Metis chip; you implant it to your victim’s cerebellum and it can supposedly read their mind, emotions, perhaps even communicate directly to them. Reminds me of those creepy wormbots Dyad used to keep their people in line.”

“Speaking of the Metis chip, I had Hell Wizard decrypt a few texts I’ve been receiving,” Delphine says, pulling up the files on her smartphone. “The patent for a Markson prototype was sold to a shell company associated with Al-Khatib. And it’s not the only thing he’s purchased.” She passes her phone to Art.

“He’s still at it, searching for a way to make billions and live forever,” Katie notes.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about the chip,” Delphine replies. “When Markson first developed it, the most it could do was give the user migraines. It’s possible this device may one day advance into a form of mind control, but considering the patent was only recently acquired I doubt it could advance so quickly.”

“If it’s all connected – the Quartz, the chip, the missing Ledas – that leaves us with a few questions,” Art says. “What is motivating the patent acquisitions, and do the buyers intend to do the Leda sisters any harm? All evidence is pointing to Al-Khatib bankrolling the new Neolutionists. Less ideological, more money-driven than the ones we previously faced. And who knows which kind is more dangerous.”

“I don’t think anyone’s coming after us, to be honest,” the scientist says. “Nobody’s ever discovered anything special about our genetics. What do we have to offer them? Only Kira’s DNA displayed any promise.”

“The Leda sisters were created solely for experimentation,” Delphine notes. “They manipulated your DNA to unlock the secrets to eternal life. Some of the studies did prove fruitful in their pursuit of Ambrosia, in particular the research on the Missing Ledas.”

“We can’t be fighting a war forever,” Cosima says. “And I, for one, will not be living my entire life fearing their next move.”

“As long as there is human greed, the war never ceases,” Delphine replies. “Neolution knows we can’t raise the alarm publicly without revealing the clones’ status. Right now, they are testing the boundaries of what they can get away with. And if they’re coming after you or your sisters, I’m not taking any risks.”

The parting words of PT Westmoreland, the founder of Project Leda, still haunted the doctor. Because of her knowledge creating the Ambrosia, the serum of eternal life, she would always be hunted. _You will never find peace._

“Also keep in mind that we never discovered the whereabouts of Dr. Virginia Coady,” Art adds. “And we suspect Frontenac has found a way to communicate messages from prison. On top of that, I believe we’ve got a third Castor clone on our hands. I’ve seen pictures of him, and he’s connected to the Quartz trade. The only other Castors we know of are Ira and Mark, but I highly doubt they’re involved.”

“Have you heard anything on the three Leda sisters that vanished?” Cosima asks. “Camilla, Marta, and now Rosalind, the Afrikaner clone from Cape Town.”

Art shakes his head. “We aren’t officially investigating anything Leda-related, unfortunately. But I did hear about Marta.”

“Which one is that?” Scott asks.

“Marta’s one of 6 Ledas who were raised exclusively for the military,” Cosima explains. “They were bred for warfare and placed under an intensive training regimen once they turned 13. Four of them died within 2 weeks. Another died after 6 months. Only one survived: Marta.”

“We have reason to believe Marta was involved in the Harbor House Massacre 3 months ago,” Art says. “Security footage picked up a Leda sister near the premises, and I can only imagine it was her.”

“Does Sarah and Alison know about all this?” the scientist asks.

“Not yet. But I want you all to stay under the radar until CSIS gathers enough intel to bring it all down. By court order, your files are classified and not many people know about the Leda sisters. But that protection won’t last forever. In less than two years, the order will expire, and then the whole world will discover your story. And then there are the new, profit-driven Neolutionists to contend with.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Cosima says. “Neolutionism has endured a steep decline since we last faced it – it simply isn’t what it used to be. I’m more concerned over how the public will react once everyone finds out about our existence. Alison still wants to become a reality television star.”

“You’d become the world’s biggest celebrities overnight,” Scott notes. “It’s a wonder none of the other sisters have talked yet.”

“Yet.” The scientist rolls her eyes. “We’ve still got the gag order. But Stephanie Lloyd has made it clear she wants to sell our story. And I don’t believe factual accuracy is going to be a priority when she does. So it’s important we get our story straight. I don’t want Beth or M.K. remembered as any less of a hero, or Paul or Susan.”

“So…are you ready to tell everyone what you’ve been up to?” Delphine takes a sip of wine and smiles.

Cosima nods. “The past few years I’ve been putting together a chronicle of our history for a book, _The Indomitable Sisters of Leda_. It’s important we push our narrative out first, earn us some goodwill and hopefully, some respect for our privacy. Of course, if Marta really is connected to the massacre that doesn’t do our story any favors.”

“I’ve read all the chapters thus far and it’s really, really fantastic,” Delphine says. “Not that I’m biased.”

“And you’ve been keeping this secret from us?” Art asks. “When can I get myself a copy?”

“I still need to find a court-approved publisher,” Cosima says. “But it’s almost done. I wanted to give up at least fifty times but Delphine kept pushing me to keep going. Although I suspect that’s mostly because she gets the good edit.”

“Objectively speaking, it is a great read,” Delphine replies. “But for now, we need to remain vigilant. There must be a connection to all the disappearances, and a reason for Neolution’s resurgence.”


	8. The Gala

_Your friend? Since when did I get demoted?_

 

“Cosima, what are you planning to wear for tonight’s gala?” Delphine asks, leaning before the bathroom mirror and applying eyeliner.

The scientist enters their bathroom and does a double take. “Oh wow…I was not warned.” She can barely finish her first sentence. “I always knew you were stunning, but you are on fire tonight. You will let me serve as your date, right?”

Delphine dons a jet black V-neck dress dotted with white sequins, sparkling like a clear night sky. “This dress is only for emergency situations. Like tonight,” she says.

“Everything in my closet right now is too hipster. Should’ve gone shopping…”

“Perhaps you can borrow one of my outfits.”

“We’ve tried before – I’m not going to fit in your clothes. Perhaps Alison has a few emergency dresses of her own.”

“You didn’t think I have anything of worth in my wardrobe?” Sarah pokes her head in.

“No offense, Sarah, but Delphine has a really fancy party…” Cosima replies.

“Cal bought me something you can borrow.”

“Kira’s hot dad? Sarah, I can’t just take…”

“I’m sure he’ll understand. Don’t be stubborn.” Sarah leads her sister to her closet and points to a gorgeous, mauve gown.

“You need to marry the guy.”

“Oh, piss off. You want it or not?”

“Now this is what my dad would call a Five Year’s Affair dress.”

“Why’s that?”

“If you wear a gown like that, it’ll turn so many heads that one of them is bound to lead to an affair that will last at least five years.”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “Thank God I didn’t end up in the Niehaus family. Now try it on.”

 

“There he is! He actually came.” On the night of the Chatterjee Institute gala, Cosima introduces Delphine to her department chair. “Sam, this is my wife, Dr. Delphine Cormier.”

“Professor Rankin,” Delphine shakes his hand. “Thank you for taking the time to be here.”

“And boosting your organization’s prestige with my presence?” Sam grins. “Think nothing of it. I admire what you all are doing, and I’m more than thrilled to play a part. By the way, thank you for lending me Cosima. I assure you she’s only said good things about you.”

“Thank you for taking her in,” the doctor says. “I know how much she wanted the position.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Sam replies. “She’s one of the most creative minds I’ve ever encountered, not always common in my line of work. If half the researchers I work with were half as brilliant, I’d be out of a job!

“Part of the reason we hired her is for this pioneering, promising new research. An alternative to antibiotics, you know, once all the world’s bacteria have grown resistant to them. I was picking her brain, and I honestly believe that in time, we will come up with a solution together. She’ll be the youngest female Nobel Prize winner in Medicine, I am sure of it.”

Delphine places a hand on her wife’s shoulder and beams with pride as Cosima blushes at her supervisor’s praise.

Sam eventually leaves to mingle with the guests, and Delphine looks to a tall man in the distance. “That’s Ivan in the blue suit.”

“The dude trying to replace you?” Cosima asks.

“I have a suspicion he hired a private investigator to comb through my records. He thinks I’m too young and inexperienced for the top job, but he’s three years my junior.”

“Don’t let him get to you. Just be the best director you can be.”

“Director Cormier.” The apparent leader of a Japanese group of investors makes his way over to introduce himself.

“Mr. Ige, thank you for bringing your team on such short notice.” The doctor takes turns shaking each investor’s hand.

“I don’t believe we’ve met before.” An investor raises his eyebrow, gesturing to Cosima.

Delphine turns around. “This is my friend, Professor Cosima Niehaus. She teaches biology at the University of Toronto.”

The Japanese team is polite, and Cosima humors them by shaking every hand. Finally, as the conversation ends, the scientist pulls her wife aside.

“Your friend? Since when did I get demoted?”

“Cosima, we both know you are much more than that, and that should be good enough.”

“Are you embarrassed of who we are?”

“You know I don’t care what people think of me.”

“Yes, that’s something I’ve always admired about you but…would it have killed you to tell them we’re married? Any man would have no qualms introducing his wife.”

“Perhaps not, but as I’ve said before, the institute is in a tenuous situation right now. Financially, we’re not making any money. My colleagues are griping that I worked for a corporation that went bankrupt, morally and financially, never mind that their chairman had as well…You know the Japanese can be conservative, and we desperately need their help. I can’t jeopardize the investment.”

“Right, the endgame. You’re always the practical one.”

Delphine sighs. “Do you honestly believe I am ashamed? There is nothing I am prouder of than our marriage and nothing I am more grateful for than our right to love each other.”

Katie approaches the couple and turns to her manager. “You’re up in five minutes.”

“Thank you, Katie.” Delphine says before turning to Cosima. “We’ll discuss this later.” The doctor takes a moment to review her remarks before stepping up to the lectern.

“Esteemed colleagues and guests, welcome to the new Toronto home of the Chatterjee Institute. I’m Director Delphine Cormier. I would like to begin by thanking our chairman, Dr. Vijay Chatterjee, who sadly could not join us tonight. When Vijay founded the institute, it marked both a new beginning and an extension his life’s mission. With today’s pharmaceuticals investing far more in product promotion than disease research, he set out to flip the equation.

“What if there was an institution that prioritized saving lives over developing the medicines that amass the most profit? Could we build and expand our humble company through our integrity and good name alone? It was a crazy, improbable vision, but he knew that with the right people and unrelenting determination, it could be possible. And that is why we are all gathered here tonight.”

As Delphine winds down her speech, she wonders if she should recognize her wife in the remarks. No, she shouldn’t. It would seem so out of place. She was here to conduct business, after all, not create a spectacle of her sexuality. She recounts the Chatterjee Institute’s latest accomplishments before introducing the next speaker.

 

“You know she’s under a lot of pressure right now,” Scott notes as Cosima stews over her wife’s refusal to acknowledge her. “You’re really going to ignore her for the rest of the night? This reminds me of our Dyad lab days all over again.”

“I’m not being petty, this is about…the principle of it all!” Cosima exclaims. “It’s the 21st century and she’s acting as though we don’t really know each other. I actually had to remind her to wear her wedding band tonight.”

They are seated at a table next to the DJ, and couples begin to congregate on the dance floor. Cosima gazes disapprovingly at the dancers and rolls her eyes.

“Are you pouting over how your wife probably wouldn’t join you for a dance?” Scott places his napkin down, stands up, and drapes his suit on the back of his chair. “C’mon, let’s go. Katie probably doesn’t want to draw any attention to herself, and we all know you’re a beast on the dance floor.” He offers a hand, and Cosima takes it.

Across the courtyard, Delphine builds rapport with the Japanese investors. One of them praises her appearance.

“Thank you,” Delphine says, her eyes darting elsewhere.

Mr. Ige points to the doctor’s wedding ring and jokes, “Careful, Eiji. Can’t you see she’s a married woman? You don’t want to catch the ire of her husband.”

“Oh, you mean my wife? She’s standing right there.” Delphine looks out to the dance floor and waves. Cosima pauses mid-dance and smiles, waving back.

“My sincerest apologies,” Mr. Ige says. “I didn’t realize…”

“Please excuse me. I have an announcement to make.” Delphine returns to the lectern, and Cosima is confused. Wasn’t everything wrapping up?

“Thank you all so much for coming. I would like to take this time to present a toast to the real mastermind behind tonight’s event. Our success would not have been possible without her, and I am immensely grateful she has chosen to serve alongside me. Katie, can you come over here? Let’s give her a round of applause.”

Katie walks anxiously to the podium, uncomfortable with the attention, as the guests around her applaud. Her eyes turn to Scott, who instead of clapping, hurries to his chair to fish out a gray box from his suit pocket. He then rushes next to his girlfriend and bends down on one knee.

“These past three years have been beyond incredible,” Scott says, his entire body shaking nervously. “I thank my lucky stars every day that I’ve known you. And all that I’m asking for is for us to become a family – you, me…our cat, Denise. Wouldn’t that be awesome?” He looks as though he is about to wet his pants.

“Kathleen Tran, will you marry me and make me the luckiest science geek alive?”

Katie is silent for a few seconds before finally nodding. “Absolutely.”

Scott slips on the ring, almost missing the correct finger in his jittery haste.

“Wow,” Cosima gives Delphine a light jab in the ribs as Scott kisses his fiancée. “Spoiler alert: she said yes.”

“ _Félicitations_ ,” Delphine toasts the couple.

Cosima pulls Scott aside. “No disrespect, but honestly, I’m the luckiest science geek alive.” The scientist places an arm around her wife’s waist. “Congrats, my friend. I’m really happy for you two.”

“That’s awesome, because you, Delphine, and Hell Wizard are going to be my groomsmen!”

Cosima gives Scott a hug before returning to her wife. “I told him earlier tonight. I told Sam about Sanek. He said he’s going to start an investigation and that Sanek will likely be suspended during this time…”

“Cosima…you’re trembling.”

“I’m just…I’m just so relieved. But so…” The scientist remembers Sanek’s threat. It wasn’t any ordinary threat. He truly believed every word he said; there was pure hatred in his eyes. “Delphine, I know I did the right thing. I know it, and I'm not going to let him get to me.”

“He would have hurt others if you didn’t report him. I’m with you.”

Cosima turns around. “Looks like the pianoman left. Come on,” she takes her wife’s hand. “Will you allow me to serenade you with a song?”

 

An hour later, Cosima and Delphine finally make it home, laughing and almost toppling inside.

“You know what?” the scientist grins, planting kisses on her wife’s chest. “Kira is staying over with Charlotte tonight, and Sarah’s back on base. So I was thinking…”

“Hm, does someone think she’s getting laid tonight?” The doctor pokes at her wife’s side. “Huh? Huh?”

“We’ve both been so preoccupied since moving here, we didn’t even have the chance…” Cosima kisses the back of her wife’s neck and fumbles for the dress zipper. “I’m sorry but this needs to come off right now.”

Delphine smiles, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Okay. Leave it to me.”

Their dresses tossed neatly to the side, Cosima resolves to kiss every inch of her wife’s body, her lips melting into the soft skin.

Delphine relaxes onto the sofa as Cosima climbs on top, her back facing the door. They are both so mesmerized in the moment that they fail to hear the lock turn and the front door open.

“Oh, God! I’m so sorry…” an unfamiliar male voice calls out.

“What’s going on?” Sarah turns on the light before laughing and folding her arms. “Looks like my sister’s getting a little frisky.”

 

“If it helps, watching your bare back is like watching mine, and Cal’s seen mine before so…”

“Sarah, it’s not helping!” Cosima exclaims, pouting with her arms crossed and hastily clothed in her pajamas.

“Look, I’m sorry we interrupted your little sexapade. Your wife will still be around.”

“We were in the moment! The timing, everything was just right, and then you barge in all coitus interruptus.”

“Hello, Sarah.” Delphine, clad in a gray sweater, returns to the living room and takes a seat next to her wife.

“Can you please have sex with my sister later?” Sarah asks.

“You know what, forget it,” the scientist says. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back early, and with Kira’s father? How did you two start talking again?”

“I met Cal at a pub a few months back,” Sarah replies. “He got a new job in Toronto and has been staying over with friends, but that arrangement’s not going to last forever. So lately I’ve been thinking of asking him to stay. Here. You know, since Kira is a growing girl who could use a father figure in her life.”

“It doesn’t hurt that he’s hot.”

“Cos, you’re killing me. I envy you, all right? I want to have what you and Delphine have. And I, for one, would like to wake up in the morning with my head resting on a man’s chest.”

“Okay, nothing wrong with wanting that. Our relationship isn’t perfect, just so you know. We’ve had our share of arguments, get into at least one good fight a year.”

“I don’t think she gives anyone the silent treatment but me,” Delphine adds.

“I don’t do that! Do I?” Cosima replies. “There are times when we don’t feel like talking to each other after some tension. But she almost never raises her voice, and she’s patient with me and she gets me. She can be stubborn sometimes – okay, _we_ can be stubborn – but in the end, we are both secure in the fact that we’ll always love and respect each other, even when we don't see eye to eye.” She turns to her sister. “So why didn’t you want me to know about this?”

“Because you’re so damn overeager all the time. _Who’s the guy, Sarah? Aw, it didn’t work out? He was a douche, could see it a mile away, you dodged a bullet._ I didn’t want to drag your hopes up and then look like a goddamn failure again.”

“Okay, understandable.” Cosima nods. “I’m fine with him staying, and Kira has the right to be around her father. Plus, we all know Cal’s a great guy. But given that all the bedrooms are taken…are you staying with Kira or do we have to shift things around?”

“No, no you two don’t have to worry. I was thinking of having him stay with…me.”

“Oh…okay. So this was further along. I mean, I should have seen it with the dress…”

“Enough about me!” Sarah runs her fingers through her hair. “If it makes you feel better, Cal planned to surprise me with a date next Friday, but there’s no way I’m getting out of drills that week. So we’ve decided to graciously donate his _No Doubt_ concert tickets and a dinner reservation to one of the trendiest new places in town.” She takes out a brochure from her jacket pocket. “They even offer an extensive vegetarian selection – I checked.”

“Wow.” Cosima turns to her wife, who nods. “Yeah, I think we’ll take it. Thank you.”

As the scientist leaves to wash up, Sarah removes her scarf and places it on the coat rack. Delphine notices a crystalline growth on her sister-in-law’s neck and reaches over to touch it.

“What the hell…”

“Sarah…are you taking Quartz pills? I know you may not feel any consequences in the beginning.”

“I have my ways of dealing with the aftereffects of war, and you have yours,” Sarah shoots back. “We accept you as family here, but my issues are strictly mine alone.”

“You realize you are putting me in an impossible situation. I can hold off on telling Cosima, but you need to seek treatment.”

“How is this impossible? This little pill is the one thing that keeps me from falling apart and allows me to function again. So leave me to take care of my own matters.”

“Sarah, if they don’t hear it from me, Kira will find out when it kills you.”

“I know how best to care for my own daughter, thank you very much.”

“I’ve seen its effects on a Leda clone. Please, I’m not here to judge. But Sarah…these pills have killed several of your sisters. You need treatment. At least let me help you remove the growth.”

Sarah sighs. “Quartz is the only thing powerful enough to dull the pain and pass military drug testing. I know it is killing me, and I will seek help in my own time. But you cannot tell Cos or Kira about this. It would destroy them.” She places a hand on Delphine’s shoulder before retreating to her bedroom. “Enjoy your date.”


	9. The Rebound

_The reason why you are so attached to her, is because you have nothing to go back to. So you cling onto anything that makes you feel like you still matter._

 

Cosima sprints along the sidewalk of the restaurant, scanning for familiar blonde curls in a sea of customers. Finally, her mouth breaks into a grin, her heart melting at the sight of her beloved leaning against the wall.

“Mind if I join you? Sorry I’m late, office hours stretched into overtime today.”

Delphine glances up from the menu and smiles. “You look spectacular, _chérie_.”

“Are you like, flirting with me?” Cosima blushes.

“Maybe.” The doctor takes her wife’s hands into her own and leans forward into a kiss. “Cal picked a popular place. Even with a reservation, I still had to take a number. They told me our wait time is close to an hour right now, but that’s cutting it close with the concert.”

The scientist rests her head against her wife’s shoulder and wraps her in a hug. “Oh well, we may need to wait a few months for business to die down before we can even grab a seat inside. How about we check out that café across the street?”

“Cosima? Cosima Niehaus?”

The scientist turns around. “Oh my God. Sh…Shay. Good to see you,” she stumbles for words. It had been years since she last encountered her ex-girlfriend, and they didn’t leave on the best of terms. In her awkwardness, she reaches over for a hug.

“So it’s true,” Shay glances at Delphine before focusing her attention on Cosima’s wedding band. “You took her back, and you’re still together.”

“Who’s this?” Another woman clings onto Shay’s arm, and Cosima had to do a double-take on how similar they looked. She is bespectacled, with a tattoo on her neck and a ring protruding from her lower lip.

“Keisha, this is my friend, Cosima. And her…wife, Delphine.” Shay shifts her eyes, trying to avoid her former antagonist, and the doctor looks away.

“Pleasure. Keisha Porter.” Shay’s wife extends her hand. “Seems like everywhere we go we run into one of Shay’s exes…”

“How did you kn…” Cosima stops herself mid-sentence.

“I thought you moved back to California,” Shay says.

“I did, but I teach at the University of Toronto now.”

“Well look at you. Welcome back.”

“Oh, I know which one you are.” Keisha smiles. “You’re the scientist. Shay’s complained about all her exes, but she’s had nothing but good things to say about you.”

“Yeah…what, really?”

“Why don’t you come over for dinner sometime?” Keisha offers. “I would love to pick your mind. I’m in the sciences myself…work at a pharmaceutical.”

“Really? Are you okay with…that?” Cosima turns to Shay.

“It would be nice to catch up. You can regale me with science factoids just like the old days. That is, if your wife doesn’t kill you for hanging out with me.”

Keisha laughs, unaware of their past history. “You must come over. I would love to host you.”

Cosima looks over to the doctor, searching for a signal.

Delphine thought her wife would shoot down the offer and was surprised to find her receptive to a reunion. “Of course. How could you refuse such a generous invitation? You should go.” She nods.

“Okay then, I would love to catch up,” the scientist says.

Cosima and Delphine offer their place in line to Shay and Keisha before walking hand-in-hand across a row of storefronts. It was a chilly autumn night, and the doctor places the scientist’s left hand in her coat pocket.

“Hold up.” Cosima peers through a store window at an ornate, golden compass inside a treasure chest. “That compass does carry a certain rugged, adventurer type feel to it, doesn’t it?”

Delphine pauses and looks through the glass. “It is quite exquisite. Like what a sophisticated explorer would bring to a trip.”

“It reminds me of this silver compass that belonged to my dad, back when we went camping as a family,” the scientist says. “All the major constellations were engraved on the back of the lid, just like this one. He would literally leave me in the middle of the woods and have me figure out my way back with it. Unfortunately, I lost it when I was eleven and never quite forgave myself.”

Delphine places a hand on Cosima’s shoulder and smiles supportively. “I miss your dad and his humor.”

“Oh yeah? He adores you as though you were his own daughter. His _favorite_ daughter. Always instructing me to treat you well and prepare your favorite food. But is he curious enough to ask if you’re treating me well? It’s like: _Yes dad, I’m doing great too, thanks for asking_.”

The doctor gives her wife a playful push and spends an extra second gazing at the store display before following the scientist to the café.

 

“So Delphine was completely fine with you coming over? She doesn’t keep you on curfew or anything?” Shay asks a week later.

They sit on a sofa in the Davydov-Porter residence as Keisha prepares dinner. The irony did not escape the scientist, that if not for Delphine she could have just as easily ended up in this home with Shay, cooking dinner in Keisha’s stead for one of Shay’s ex-girlfriends.

“No, she trusts me and I trust her,” Cosima replies.

Shay laughs. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“What’s that?”

“Keisha and you are very similar. But she’s not a rebound. Just so you know.”

“For a moment there, I thought she adhered to a vegetarian diet, studied biology, and displayed a cheeky sense of humor.”

“How did you know?” Shay feigns surprise. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m very, very much happily married to Keisha. She’s what I needed after all the…you know. So for that reason, I don’t regret the end of our relationship. But to find out you went back to Delphine…I’d be surprised if she doesn’t keep you locked up in a cage.”

“In fairness, she lets me out from time to time. And if I’m good, she feeds me ice cream and waffles.”

“No seriously, Cosima. I’m worried. People don’t change that easily and…if she’s abusing you…”

“There’s a lot about our relationship you don’t know about, that you didn’t get to see. I’ve never had anyone in my life love me the way she has…”

“Then what do you call my feelings for you back then?”

“It was…love. It was special, and it was real. I don’t want to discount our relationship in any way. But when I look back, I regret it all. Because I was still in love with her and never should have pursued you if I still felt this strongly for someone else. I was using you to heal my pain when my heart wasn’t all in. My friend set us up…”

“I get it. I was some sort of rebound, your conquest of the week, we’ve all been guilty of it,” Shay scoffs.

“God…no. I’m not that type of girl. I’ll admit that, if I never met Delphine, I…I probably would have chosen you, and I would have been perfectly happy if it had been you. And I…I shouldn’t have just said that.” Nobody wanted to be someone else’s second choice.

“I mean, sure, if not for the evil corporation and all, we probably could have seen our relationship flourish to the end,” Shay replies. “I don’t doubt your happiness in your new life, but you do know what she did to me, all those years ago…”

“She threatened to have you bleed out, I recall.”

“I don’t know what she told you, but let me tell you what really happened.”

 

***

 

Delphine lowered her smartphone with one hand as the other fidgeted with the razor. Had she really stood on the verge of killing Cosima’s girlfriend?

The doctor had accused Shay of colluding with the Castor clones to harm the Leda sisters, but surely her suspicions were grounded in facts, not jealousy. But after Cosima called to inform her Shay was innocent, they were left in an awkward situation.

Finally, Delphine faced her weeping prisoner. “Shay. You’re fortunate that I believe you. But if I should ever discover that you have hurt or betrayed my Cosima…”

“Your Cosima? So she’s your property,” Shay sneered, regaining her confidence all at once, the cards having returned to her hand. “She called you, didn't she? Tell me – what’s going to happen when she finds out what just happened here?”

“Let me deal with it.” Delphine flipped her hair and ushered her guards outside.

“That’s it? No apology, nothing.”

“Be grateful you are leaving with your life.”

Shay stood up; she wasn’t about to allow her interrogator get off that easy. “I know you think of me as a threat, that I'm your rival. Let me be clear. I cannot be a threat when Cosima is already done with you. We are not rivals. Rivalry suggests we are on an even plane. We are not. We are completely different women.”

“I agree,” Delphine replied in a weak attempt at a retort.

“How did Cosima ever find it in herself to become infatuated with you?” Shay scoffed. “You know, she once told me, after the untold number of times we made love, that it was the best she ever had.”

How petty, Delphine thought, but after what she had done, could she really blame Shay? She couldn’t hate her for desiring the scientist; she understood full well what that felt like. “What you do together in private does not concern me.”

“I know you’ll deem me as some patronizing bitch, but you know what? Believe it or not, I don’t actually hate you. I’m really trying to understand you here. Can you sit down for a minute? Just one minute. It’s the least I can ask for after what you just pulled. And put the razor down.”

Delphine waved her guards out and reluctantly took a seat on the sofa chair across from Shay. Her face remained expressionless, betraying no sense of remorse. But internally, the doctor languished in the torrid agitation of jealousy: it crawled into her chest, gnawed at her heart, and emanated from her pores.

“Do you honestly believe you’re in love with her?” Shay asked. “Would do anything for her? I’m not being smart with you. But Cosima is perfectly happy here, this is her home, where she’s always welcome. Has this thought ever occurred to you?”

Delphine directed her gaze elsewhere, observing the scientist’s clothes and textbooks strewn across the room. It really did seem like she’d been with Shay often, finding warmth in a form of love the doctor couldn’t provide.

“Cosima has never met anyone more compatible, more right for her than me, and she knows it,” Shay asserts. “That she would want anything to do with you anymore…it’s a delusion. Her heart holds nothing but regret for ever loving you.

“So after you leave this apartment and we never see each other ever again, consider this question: why are you so upset with us together, why are you so upset with me, so willing to pull a move as drastic as…threatening to kill me? Because in the end, the problem, it isn’t with me. Isn’t it all with you?"

Shay leaned back into the sofa and crossed her arms, making sure she inserted the last word. “You know why you like her so much? I may not know you as well as you think you know me, but I’ve met your type, dated a few, even. The reason why you love Cosima so much, the reason why you are so attached to her, is because you have nothing to go back to. So you cling onto anything that makes you feel like you still matter. But if there is any part of you that still cares for her, you’d understand I’m the only one who can heal what you broke.”

“Are you done? Good.” Delphine walked out, humiliated but refusing to give Shay the satisfaction of a response. The doctor entered the Dyad vehicle waiting outside, and she stared grimly out the car window during her ride back to the Institute.

Shay’s words had served its intended effect. Of course Delphine wished only goodwill towards Cosima, and yes, she would never be good enough for her. Cosima certainly never threatened to hurt anyone; she was still pure, would never betray her principles…and she had found someone who made her so happy. It was evident in the apartment; the scientist had moved in all but in name.

What did the doctor have to go back to but reminders of her pitiful, lonely existence? How could she, in the selfish, single-minded pursuit of her own happiness, stand in the way of her beloved’s? 

As long as Delphine aligned herself with Dyad, she would always come in conflict with the scientist and her principles. But she could never leave the Institute when it was her best way, her greatest contribution to saving the one she loved most. The doctor had made her choice: she would serve as Cosima’s protector, and in the resulting void, Shay would become the scientist’s lover. And perhaps Shay really was the best person for Cosima.

All the sacrifices Delphine had made, they were meaningless to Cosima – she probably still hated her. But it was fine. The scientist could despise her all she wanted, as much as she desired, just as long as she was safe. Cosima would find her cure; the doctor just needed to keep her alive long enough to succeed.

In less than 24 hours, Delphine would be lying in a pool of blood in the Dyad parking lot. When she saw the muzzle of the gun directed at her, she understood her time was up and accepted her fate peacefully.

_What will happen to her?_

 

***

 

“Did I really say that?” Cosima remarks. “That you were the best I ever had?”

“Even if you didn’t, I know you felt it,” Shay replies.

“Maybe.” It was true; Shay knew just how to pleasure a woman. In the depths of her despair, any doubts the scientist held over their relationship would dissipate in those moments. All the pain Delphine had left behind would go away, at least until it was time for Cosima to go home.

“But even in those moments we shared, I’ll admit, I felt guilty over how unfair I was to you,” the scientist continues. “Because I would still think of her, holding you in my arms and imagining you were her. I know now that I am not the right person for you, and I’m glad you have a woman who will give you the one hundred percent you deserve.”

Shay smirks, taking a sip of wine. “Don’t feel too bad. The way Keisha ended it with her ex was even worse, much messier than you.”

“Really? Worse than me?” Cosima muses.

Shay looks into the kitchen, making sure her wife was preoccupied. “I thought she would break up with her girlfriend before pursuing me, but it ended up being a hot mess that raised scores of red flags. But when she finally proposed, I believe she was sincere. So I get it.

"Besides, you were always so sad whenever we were together. Even when you smiled I could sense the sorrow. Initially I thought there was something going on at work, or it was your disease, but...I suppose attraction works in mysterious ways."

Cosima sighs. “Thank you for understanding. I hope you know you weren't the reason why I was so sad. Even though you've built this wonderful life with Keisha, it still doesn't excuse what I put you through.

"But…why are we rehashing this, Shay? I’m not here to bring up the past in front of your wife. I am truly sorry for what I did, but we’ve both moved on, for the better, I believe.”

“Here’s to our futures, with all the messiness and uncertainty that comes with it.” Shay raises a toast as Keisha beckons them to dinner.

 

It was close to midnight when Cosima returns home, and she spots Delphine watching French dramas alone in the living room.

“ _Bonsoir ma belle femme._ ” Cosima grins, sits next to her wife, and gives her a kiss on the cheek. She places a hand on the doctor’s face and realizes her wife is crying. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just…happy you came back.”

Cosima stares at Delphine’s frightened face with a look of concern, but then she begins to laugh, wrapping her arms around her wife. “ _Ma pauvre chiot_. Were you afraid I wasn’t coming home?”

“I know…it’s stupid and I shouldn’t feel this way.” The doctor wipes away her tears. “I mean, we’ve been married for over three years now and…Shay has also moved on and…”

“That’s right, and we’re still going strong.” Cosima runs her fingers through her wife’s blonde curls. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I know Shay is so pretty, never sullied herself with shadowy organizations, probably a much better cook than I am…”

The scientist kisses her wife on the forehead. “Don’t even doubt it. I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, for better or for worse. I love you, and that’s never going to change.”

“Didn't you have...your best intimate relationship...”

Cosima laughs. “I would much rather share those moments with someone I'm madly in love with, and that's the truth.”

 

Later that night, Delphine wakes up in a cold sweat. She had everything she needed, right there beside her, and yet…a sense of profound sadness situated itself upon her chest. This should be the happiest time of her life: she was immensely blessed both personally and professionally. So why should she be wallowing in such misery?

_Shay…Dyad…Cosima leaving…Westmoreland’s basement._

“Cosima…” Delphine mutters. She didn’t want to startle her wife, but they had promised to be open to one another.

“Cosima…Cosima?” Still no answer.

The doctor calls out a few more times before giving in. Some battles had to be fought alone.


	10. The Metis Chip

_I will take her in whatever state she is in. How could I even begin to quantify the sacrifices she’s made for us?_

 

Three months later, Cosima races across campus, her class just minutes away from starting. Her calves burn and eyes water, but she had to keep going – her tardy habits weren’t going to cut it as a professor. She spots a tall man with a cap covering his face and holding a long, black umbrella. _That’s odd, who would be carrying an umbrella on a warm, sunny day like this?_

Sanek was gone. By the time the university announced the results of their investigation, he had fled. If only the professor had remained, Art could have questioned him about the missing Markson equipment.

Not long afterward, Cosima discovered a dead rat in her mailbox, but she tried not to let it bother her. Last month, someone submitted an anonymous complaint that the scientist had plagiarized her PhD dissertation. In the investigation that followed, no indications of impropriety were uncovered and even her surly mentor, Professor Rothman, sent in a letter of support.

Surely, this would be the extent of Sanek’s wrath. She had a life to live, with her beloved wife and a rewarding career, and she was not about to give in to fear.

Cosima passes the man with the umbrella and hurries to the classroom. As she opens the door, she feels a sharp prick on the back of her head, below the skullcap, cutting straight to the nerve. Before she can turn around, the students lining up by the lectern turn their attention to her. She connects her laptop to the projector while answering questions. Her hearing becomes muffled, her vision blurred…

_Professor Niehaus…professor, are you all right? Ma’am? Can you hear us? Anyone know CPR? I'm calling 911. Professor?_

 

Delphine rushes to the hospital like a woman possessed as soon as she hears the news.

“I’m fine, the blood test came back negative for poisoning,” Cosima says as her wife checks her pulse and temperature.

“They said you were hit. Show me where.”

Cosima sits up and turns around. Delphine observes the small wound above the back of her wife’s neck.

“Who hurt you? Was it Dr. Sanek?”

“What?” The scientist had almost forgotten about him. “Why would he show his face around here?”

Scott arrives an hour later and opens his suitcase. “Pocket Moirae,” he explains, opening a small laptop. “Whoever did this to Cosima, we may just be able to find out. You remember the drill, right?”

“Will this device be strong enough?” Delphine inquires. “What about the Moirae Dreamscape?”

“This will work just as fine,” Scott replies confidently, entering his credentials.

“So what is this super fancy version?” Cosima asks.

“For now, only a select few get to test out the Dreamscape,” Scott says, strapping a headset on his friend’s scalp and connecting the wires to his pocket Moirae. “It’s a real work of beauty. I can’t divulge too much, but not only can it look back on your memories, it can also recreate that world and build new ones to explore. It will allow us to confront the most difficult aspects of our lives in a regulated environment.”

“That’s the most incredible invention I ever heard,” the scientist replies. “We get a test run before you release it, right?”

“Everything’s top secret now, but I’ll see what we can arrange for you. Now, close your eyes and think back to the moment before you blacked out.” From the screen, Scott sees Cosima kiss her wife goodbye, prepare her course materials, and run across campus. And then he sees him, the man with the umbrella.

Scott rewinds a few times, trying to catch a good glimpse of the man. For a split second, the man looks up. The researcher freezes the screen and scratches his chin. “Gotcha. This is looking more and more like a spy novel. My guess is he pricks her with the umbrella cap.”

After removing the headset, Scott presents the grainy footage to Cosima and Delphine.

“He looks familiar, but that’s not a good picture,” the scientist observes.

“I’ll text this to Art and see if he can scan it for facial recognition,” Scott says.

The physician enters the room. “Mrs. Niehaus, we have your x-ray results. Do you have any idea what a magnetic chip is doing in your brain?”

 

“We recently identified this man. His name is Brodie, no last name. I’ll email you a file of some security footage we gathered.”

Cosima, Delphine, Scott, Sarah, and Cal are sitting in the living room of Siobhan’s house, speaking to Art via laptop webcam.

Sarah opens the file and furrows her brow. “Art, that’s a Castor clone. But I thought only Mark and Ira survived through Cosima’s cure.”

“This is the suspected third clone,” Art replies. “He’s a kingpin in the Quartz trade, and now it seems he had a Leda sister in his sights.”

“What does CSIS know about the Metis chip?” Delphine asks. “Is there reason to believe Brodie is involved with them?”

“Unfortunately, we still don’t have a lot of information about the chip right now, but it is possible the Neos are using it for coercion and control. Listen, our mission is highly classified. I’m not even supposed to be discussing this with anyone.”

“I understand, Art, but right now we suspect Cosima may have such a chip lodged in her brain,” Sarah replies. “And we can’t take it out, because it might detonate like the Dyad wormbots before it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Cosima. The best I can offer is we run a study on her. I’ll bring my people in.”

“No, we need to do what is medically sound for her right now,” Delphine replies. “Anything that distracts from that…”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” Cosima interjects. “Anything to help us understand how this chip works or bring these people to justice. If my implant can aid us in discovering a way to remove it, then at least there can be some good to come out of it.”

Art nods. “Do we have any idea what their intentions are for Cosima? Why her?”

“Other than revenge from a vindictive, Neolutionist professor, no we don’t,” Sarah replies.

“I’m starting to think this chip might be connected to the missing Leda sisters, you know what I mean?” Art says. “Maybe they were all implanted before they disappeared too. How many are missing now: eight, nine?

“If they were all taken against their will, if there was a struggle, I mean, surely someone would have seen something. But if this chip really can control minds…or force their subject into excruciating pain to get what the Neos want, they won’t need to kidnap anyone. It may seem as though the sisters left willingly.” A pause.

“I get it,” Cosima says. “I’ll work with CSIS and the hospital to study the Metis chip. But right now, we don’t know if this chip can control what I say or do and if that makes me a liability to the Clone Club. And if this is essentially wormbot 2.0, I could potentially self-destruct at any time, which wouldn’t be too pleasant for anyone standing around me.”

“What are you suggesting?” Sarah asks. “Cos?”

“During this time, I may have no control over what I say, how I act, and if I can hurt or manipulate others. I cannot be trusted. So I’ll need to be quarantined. Right away.”

 

The safest place the Clone Club could turn to was the secret floor beneath Hell Wizard’s Rabbit Hole comic book shop. Cosima places a mattress on the floor, takes out her laptop, and proceeds working on the final exam, removing questions from the last lecture.

“Good thing they found a proctor. My students are going to find it’s not that easy to skip a test.”

“Cosima…” Delphine sits down on the mattress and wraps an arm around her wife. “I wouldn’t mind if you still wanted to live with us.”

“I know,” Cosima nods. “But if you want me to be kept safe, this will be our arrangement until we figure out how to remove this chip.” Furthermore, as she had conveniently neglected to mention, if her head blows up, she’d prefer to be in a contained environment.

Delphine touches the lump in the back of Cosima’s head and rests their foreheads together. The doctor wanted so much to remove it, and the fact that she couldn’t broke her. She had promised to protect her wife; she would take the chip in herself if she had to. It all felt so helpless.

“I’ll bring you books every night,” the doctor promises, kissing her wife’s forehead. “There will be Eskimo pies, and I’ll sing for you.”

“Please don’t worry about me. I’m going to be just fine. Plus, I’ll be preoccupied, running tests on myself and studying this chip. Lest you forget, I’ve been in worse situations than this. And when it’s all over, we’ll have our _feuilleton mélo_ marathons like old times.”

Cosima smiles, holding her wife’s hand. “But no matter what happens, or what I do or say, don’t ever doubt how much love I have for you.”

“ _Je comprends._ _C'est pareil pour moi aussi.”_

“It’s getting late, and you need to report to work tomorrow. I’ll see you later?”

“ _Bien sûr_.” One last kiss, and the doctor slowly lets go of her wife’s grip.

“Sarah, can I talk to you in private?” Cosima asks.

Her sister looks up from her smartphone and walks over as the doctor makes her way up the stairs. “We’re just one call away, Cos.”

“I want to be clear about the arrangement. Anytime someone visits, I want you here with me.”

“You honestly believe Sanek’s going to make you strangle them?”

“Who knows, he might,” the scientist replies. “Will you please watch over her?”

“Why the hell is it always me?”

“Sarah, this situation is particularly painful for Delphine. Anything that has to do with Sanek or Dyad or Neolution, it’s a trigger.”

“Yeah, it’s a trigger for all of us.”

“It’s different for her. Sarah, she has PTSD.” Cosima’s voice cracks as she wells up in tears. “And considering all the shit she’s gone through, I can’t really blame her.”

“I…I didn’t know, Cos.”

“She is so brave, beyond brave, for how she’s managed to keep going for as long as she has. She’s been shot twice, nearly poisoned to death, not to mention the experiments she conducted in Westmoreland’s basement, which she can’t even discuss with a therapist for fear of prosecution. And she refuses to burden me by telling me what the hell happened down there.”

“When did you find out about her condition?”

“We had been married for a few months and were on our international Cure the Ledas trip. We found ourselves in Houston, the night after meeting a sister who described being conscious while Dyad experimented on her. It was a hot summer night, and we were staying over at this hotel…when she just lost it. I woke up in the middle the night, hearing her sobbing, screaming, crying. Standing on the balcony, staring at me with lifeless eyes that told me she wanted to end it all.

“I didn’t know how to react. I’d never encountered anything like it, and I thought I’d seen it all. I was frightened out of my mind, I didn’t recognize this person, this demon inside of her. This wasn’t the woman I thought I’d married, and I had to keep it all together and put on a brave face in order not to startle her.”

“I don’t think these feelings came out of nowhere,” Sarah replies. “She just never told you what she was going through.”

“I had…never seen her like this,” Cosima continues. “I felt betrayed, not because Delphine had PTSD, but because she had never thought to tell me, as though I would judge her and feel burdened by her. After she calmed down, we talked about it. She thought she had it under control, and that’s why she didn’t want to bring it up. She’s one of the strongest people I know, her and you and S…but her condition worsened after she was poisoned. And frankly I don’t know when or if it will ever go away.

“Delphine assured me, that if she ever thought she was going to be a liability, she wouldn’t have gone through with the marriage, that she would be the one to leave. She didn’t say it to be dramatic, this was how she honestly felt, after all those years we shared together.

“I was quaking mad…I was so upset, that in the end she still thought of me as one of those men in her life who would take everything she had to offer before leaving for someone else. So I asked her, if she honestly believed that if I knew she was broken, I wouldn’t be able to love and care for her all the same. And she didn’t know the answer.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Things were looking up the past two years. We found a therapist she liked, and she was taking her medication. There were still times, when she would tell me how she didn’t understand why she lost her ability to feel. After all, shouldn’t this be the happiest period of her life?

“She would beat herself over it, but that’s what happens with depression. She experienced a period like this before, back in Paris when she was attending medical school. We wanted to find her a new therapist here, in Toronto, and get her a new prescription. But life goes its own course; she became busy with the institute and I with university. I would bring it up every week, and she would insist on still going to work, like nothing is the matter.

“Sarah, I will take her in whatever state she is in. How could I even begin to quantify the sacrifices she’s made for us? The least I can do is to accept and care for her. It’s been exhausting and there are times when she just loses herself, when she slips away and she’s not the woman I remember marrying. But…this is a sacrifice that’s difficult, but I am more than willing to make it. I will lay every part of myself down, for her.”

“I know you would. It’s in your blood.”

“It’s in our blood. It’s who we are. We wouldn’t be alive today without our friends and the ones who love us.”

“She’s lucky to have you. You know that.”

Cosima smiles through her tears. “You know, even after all these years, I still believe it’s the other way around.”


	11. Clone Club Christmas

_Dr. Cormier...it astounds me how you’ve managed to stay alive for as long as you have._

 

“Sarah, please.”

“If you’re stressed, stick to your cigarettes. I’m not about to transform you into a raging Quartz junkie after promising my sister to place your welfare first.”

Delphine and Sarah are sitting in a car, on their way to visit Cosima at the Rabbit Hole.

“At least tell me where you got the Quartz. Who is your dealer? Maybe he or she can lead us to Brodie.”

“Leave this to CSIS, will you? What would you do if you found my dealer, threaten and interrogate him?”

They enter the comic book shop, and Hell Wizard unlocks the door to the basement, where Cosima is hunched over a laptop, communicating with Scott via webcam.

“Keeping busy, _ma chèrie_?”

Cosima looks up and runs forward, jumping up into her wife’s waiting arms. They kiss several times before Delphine lifts her down.

“Don’t even think of trying that on me,” Sarah says deadpan. “So what have you been up to?”

Cosima returns to her laptop. “Just the usual, spending my free time studying and ruminating on the failings of man. I’ve learned you can whip up a lot of goodies with a toaster oven: cornbread, quesadillas, lasagna toast…”

Delphine forces a smile. She knew her wife was trying to appear strong and remain upbeat for her, despite the routine headaches and being shut out of the university lab. “I can’t wait to taste them. How is your research?”

“I’m trying to do my part in the study with Dr. Rankin, but it’s limiting, confined in this space, away from everyone,” Cosima replies.

“Your colleagues are reasonable people. They understand you have a medical emergency.”

“Still, I feel guilty, you know? We worked so hard, and I let them down. But enough about me, how is work?”

“Stressful. I don’t know how much longer I can keep up with corporate politics, and Ivan is undermining me at every turn. Maybe I wasn’t made for the boardroom.” The doctor turns to the laptop and waves at Scott. “How is she doing?”

“The good news is that the Metis chip doesn’t appear to be leaking any toxins into her system,” Scott replies. “The bad news is it’s emitting some sort of signal, so it’s possible they can track her GPS coordinates. For all we know, an outside party can dictate ideas or emotions into her mind.”

Cosima places a hand over her mouth. “But the chip is poorly lodged in my cerebellum, probably not even far in enough to have an effect. And…I’ve been thinking. Let's take the risk. If it self-destructs so be it.”

“ _Non,_ we are not going to do that.” Delphine shakes her head. “Don’t joke about it.”

“Hey Cos.” Sarah removes a miniature Christmas tree from a plastic bag. “Don’t mean to intrude, but Ali wanted you to have this.”

Cosima laughs. “Two weeks away from our commercial world, and I’ve already forgotten about the holidays. How’re you all spending it this year? Surely it’ll be more festive than our Niehaus Christmases.”

“We’re having it with the Hendrixes,” Sarah replies. “This may be the most Clone Club members we’ve ever had attending. Even Felix’s sister, Adele, is coming. By the way, Fee and Colin broke up, so he’s back and staying in our living room. He also wants Adele to move in on account that the house half-belongs to him and I got to keep a sibling plus one.”

“Adele’s moving to Toronto?” Cosima furrows her brow. “The lawyer chick? Did she even pass the Ontario bar?”

“That’s what I asked, and he said she was studying for the test. And Adele was like, ‘I am?””

Cosima makes eye contact with her wife. “Great. We are never having sex again.”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “We’ll find some way to include everybody in the house. Adele could share Kira’s room for now. And we’ll pack you a little feast from our holiday festivities.”

“I’m staying here for Christmas,” Delphine asserts.

“No, you can’t,” Cosima objects. “I need at least two people watching me at all times, and I don’t want to take Sarah away from her family.”

“We have never spent a holiday apart…”

“I don’t want this to be all about me.” Cosima cups Delphine’s face with her hands and smiles. “You should take a night off and join them. I will be all right.”

 

While Delphine showers back at Siobhan’s house, Sarah talks to Cosima on the phone.

“To be honest, Cos, she’s not doing all right. Even when she’s home, she ends up pacing the house and looking miserable. She’s like a downhearted puppy searching the house for her owner.”

Delphine stands in the shower, quaking in grief as water droplets grace her skin. What if she confiscated Sarah’s phone, or followed her around until she meets the Quartz dealer? What if she operated on Cosima herself? But no, her wife had been joking; the scientist wouldn’t allow it if there was a risk the chip could self-destruct on them both. But if she sedated her…

The doctor feels an arm draped around her waist and a hand parting her hair to the side. _I’m right here, baby._ She closes her eyes, feeling Cosima leaving a trail of kisses on her neck down to her back. She gasps, reaching one hand behind her, but no one is there.

_You really shouldn’t be doing this to me. I know you’re not real._

Delphine feels the water level rising up to her ankles. _Merde._ Did she really need this right now? She bends over to flip the trip lever, but it fails to fix the issue. She places a hand over the shower drain, which is tangled with her blonde locks, and discards the stubborn clump of hair.

After drying herself and getting dressed, the doctor lies in bed, eyes open. All around her, blonde curls abound. She must be losing them in the stress. And then it occurs to her. This had never been a problem before. Cosima had been patiently collecting the hair all these years without once raising the issue with her wife.

The doctor drapes an arm over her eyes and sobs. She had grown so accustomed to their married life she forgot what it was like to pack her own lunch, pump her own gas, and do her own laundry. Cosima had to go over their finances together, as she was unaware of their accounts.

Delphine’s mind is elsewhere now. It was difficult to even get out of bed in the morning and move forward with such a heavy heart, the pain and anxiety crippling her. It is truly in the absence of something beloved that a person confronts its full worth. The time they spent together now was never enough, and she longed for the day she could hold her wife again unapologetically, without fear of separation.

“Hey Delphine,” Sarah knocks on the door. “I made you some tea – S’s favorite. I’ll leave it outside.”

Cal walks over and places his hands on Sarah’s shoulders. “Let her be. If she wants to engage, she’ll come.”

 

As planned, the Clone Club gathers at Alison’s house on Christmas night. But Sarah could see Delphine is troubled, her smile too forced as she joins in the toast, her attention drifting elsewhere at dinner, and the usual pacing around the house as everyone else gathered for games.

Sarah grabs her coat and walks over to her sister-in-law. “Come on, let’s go. Let’s see Cosima.”

The visit couldn’t come soon enough. Cosima is lying on the mattress, listening to the radio as cookies bake in the toaster oven. She brings a glass of wine to her lips and doesn’t hold back when warm tears well up in her eyes.

How could she be so frail, so self-centered? How much more of this bullshit did she and her sisters have to endure? Had this happened years earlier, she would have been stronger. But now that she was married, with a rewarding career and a community that loved her…it pained her, how much she had to lose and the strain her condition was causing others.

The radio station alternates between love songs and messages that callers had left to loved ones they missed this holiday season.

_My beloved, how are you? Is life going on just fine without me? I can’t wait to see you again, to kiss you once more._

“Delphine?” Cosima spots a blonde woman standing at the stairway. _No way._ “Is that you?” She sits up, and her wife kneels down on the mattress, wrapping them in an embrace. “But…you can’t…”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.” Sarah says.

“We?” Sure enough, almost everyone from the Clone Club is here: Felix, Adele, Kira, Charlotte, Cal, Alison, Donnie, Helena, Art, Hell Wizard, Scott, and Katie.

“You didn’t think we forgot about our favorite science geek professor clone, now did you?” Felix asks.

“We brought you plenty of food,” Alison says. “But you do have to share the cake.”

Cosima places a hand over her mouth, bowling in shock and elation. “Yeah, of course,” she finally stutters. “I baked cookies, and you can all help yourselves to a bite.”

Scott and Hell Wizard step forward and show their friend a few metallic rings.

“We made them for all the sisters,” Scott explains.

“Good thing you’re all the same ring size,” Hell Wizard says. “They’ll allow us to GPS track your movements, so if you ever get kidnapped, we’ll know.”

“This is such a great idea,” Cosima says, sliding on a metal band.

“Tell that to Krystal,” Scott replies. “She said they look heinous and refused to wear it. So now we’re working on a handbag accessory version.”

“What if she drops the handbag…”

“You try reasoning with your sister,” Scott says. “And Merry Christmas!”

 

It was perhaps the best Christmas both Cosima and Delphine could remember. They laugh, play games, and divvy up the cake before sending the guests away one-by-one. The scientist engages in a philosophical conversation with Charlotte before it is time to go.

“Sorry Cos, gotta drop her off to her foster parents,” Sarah says. “So that means I need to take Delphine with me.”

“That’s quite a distance,” Alison says. “Let’s give them some more time together. I’ll supervise.”

“It’s all right, I don’t want to be a bother,” Cosima says and turns to Delphine. “You should get some rest, and I’ll see you tomorrow?”

They both pause for a moment, teary-eyed.

“I will do it,” Helena says, turning to Alison. “I watch them tonight. You watch the twins.”

“What do you think, Cos?” Sarah asks.

“I think that would be a very generous offer,” Cosima replies. “Thank you.”

 

Cosima and Delphine recline on the mattress, with the doctor humming and stroking her wife’s hair. On the other side of the basement, Helena sits on a sleeping bag and finishes the cake.

“What a good kid,” Cosima muses. The scientist always had a soft spot for her younger sister, Charlotte.

“Have ever considered adopting her?” Delphine asks. “You were always thinking of her, even back in San Jose.”

“I think it’s a big step,” the scientist sighs. “And I thought we were on the same page, not wanting kids. Is it selfish, to not have them?”

“No, I don’t believe so. But it can be when there are already so many deserving of love but aren’t given the chance.”

“We would have to be completely in it, all the way. That’s my belief, when it comes to parenting. If you’re not willing to take those steps, make those sacrifices, then motherhood wouldn’t be right. And for the longest time, I knew I wouldn’t be able to pass that test. But Charlotte…that would be different.”

“If you’re in, I am too. I think it would be good for her, good for us.”

“I believe you would make a great mom. But I don’t want you to make a decision based on what you feel I want.”

“I mean it, Cosima. I have thought about it. If you are willing, we can be her parents.”

“You know she’s cloned from Rachel’s DNA. Susan intended for Rachel to adopt her.”

“But Charlotte is not her. You and I can clearly see it. And I believe the sooner we bring her into a stable, loving home, the better. Rachel spent much of her life without her parents, and we see what happened to her.”

“She’ll look more and more like me as she ages. That won’t be odd? It’s like having two Leda sisters, one as your wife and one as your daughter.”

“I see Sarah almost every day and know she isn’t you.”

“My heart and mind is in it; it has been for a while. But I still want you to take some time to seriously think about it, consider what it takes. This is a life-changing decision, for all of us. And what would she call me? Sister mom?”

“Genetically, Siobhan is Sarah’s daughter, and Sarah is Siobhan’s mother. So Kira is Siobhan’s half-sister, and you are Kira’s aunt and great-grandmother...”

“Okay, let’s not go down that mind trip right now, especially given our situation. I just want to make sure we’re completely ready, if we do go through with the adoption. Let’s revisit this later, after we get this godforsaken chip out.”

“Okay.” Delphine kisses her wife on the cheek. “There is something I wanted to give you.” From her pocket, she pulls out a golden compass, holding it by the chain and letting it dangle above them. “ _Joyeux Noël_.”

“This is where I say you really shouldn’t have…but it’s so lovely.” Cosima clasps the compass in her hands. On the front side of the protective lid, Delphine had the words _Follow the Crazy Science_ engraved in a circular pattern.

“It has the major constellations engraved on the back of the lid, just like your father’s.”

“ _Merci mon amour_.” They turn toward each other and kiss. “I made you something.”

“Oh?”

Cosima pulls out a small, black box from under the mattress. She opens it, revealing a watch with a stainless steel case and a leatherette strap. Along the round bezel, the scientist had etched the words: _Time for Crazy Science_.

“Scott helped me procure the supplies and a 3D printer, and then I assembled it myself. Cool, huh? It’s a mechanical watch, so it powers itself through the movements in your arm. But if you don’t wear it regularly, you’ll still need to wind the crown...”

“ _J'aime beaucoup ça_.” Delphine puts it on. “I will wear it every day.”

“I didn’t get to explain all the features and the science behind it yet! The hands and numerals glow in the dark and…Charlotte helped me fasten the hands and dial…”

“It’s beautiful. I will wear it with pride.” The doctor kisses her wife, and they fall asleep side-by-side.

 

Delphine finds herself working in a lab when she hears a gunshot next door. Her heart pounding, she rushes over to the next room and spots Cosima lying on the floor in a pool of blood, a gun in her hand and a bullet wound through where the Metis Chip was lodged.

The doctor cradles her wife in her arms, screaming for help and checking for vital signs in her shock and denial. She holds on tightly, not caring if the scientist could no longer feel her, and she fails to even recognize her own wails.

 

Delphine awakens in a panic, sweat dripping from her brow. It was all a dream, and she is relieved for it. The doctor reaches for her smartphone, turns it on, and flashes a light on Cosima’s face before touching the back of her wife’s head.

“Yup, it’s still there,” the scientist mutters, squinting her eyes, and Delphine wraps her confused wife in a tight hug.

No, this wasn’t fair. Cosima still had a life to live, scientific breakthroughs to uncover!

As Cosima drifts back to sleep, Delphine decides it is time to reach out to her anonymous source. “How do I talk to Brodie?” she texts.

 

Half an hour later, Delphine receives a response. Did her source not sleep at night? She opens the message: GPS coordinates. The location wasn’t too far, a small warehouse less than two miles away.

What choice did she have? Her source hadn’t been wrong before. If there was a way to protect Cosima, she had to pursue it. The doctor slowly moves from the bed, puts on her coat, and leaves the Rabbit Hole. It isn’t long until she becomes suspicious of being followed.

“Who’s there?”

A few seconds later, her stalker emerges from the shadows. It’s Helena.

“Why are you following me? Go back and watch Cosima.”

“It is dangerous, a night like this.” Helena looks around them. “I can help you.” She holds up a paper bag with the knife Alison used to cut the cake.

“Okay,” Delphine breathes. “So long as you don’t tell Cosima what’s about to happen. I need to see Brodie. It’s to protect your sister, but she won’t understand.”

“You should tell Art and Sarah.”

“I will, later.” Yet she couldn’t jeopardize her mission by informing the rest of the Clone Club. They could capture Brodie and leave her without a way to remove Cosima’s Metis chip.

They make their way to a poorly lit alleyway, with Helena following several yards behind. As Delphine rounds the corner, Helena dashes over, grabs her hand, and pulls her behind a dumpster.

The next second, a bullet hits the dumpster and ricochets against the wall. The doctor feels her heart pounding in her throat and panics as Helena holds onto her hand.

“Sniper,” Helena notes.

“Will we need to stay here all night?”

Helena takes out the knife and holds it outside the dumpster, trying to reflect whatever light she can. Another shot fires, and Helena scurries back to the wall.

They sit still for a full minute, their senses heightened. They hear footfalls coming from the back of the alleyway.

“Dr. Cormier, I’ve heard of you. You’re a legend. It astounds me how you’ve managed to stay alive for as long as you have.” It was Brodie, the Castor clone.

“That makes the two of us,” Delphine replies. “I was hoping to talk…”

“Of course you do; everyone wants to talk to Brodie. Well, come on now. She won’t hurt you.” Brodie steps away from the dumpster and waves his hand. _She?_ “Ever heard of Marta? Best bodyguard we ever had.”

“And you have her on the Metis chip, like the others…”

“What are you talking about?” Brodie smirks. “How did you find me?”

“I should be asking how you know who I am. And if you do, you probably know why I’m here.”

Brodie nods. “I trust you’re not intending to spend your Christmas with me. Come on now, we can discuss business inside.”

Delphine and Helena reluctantly follow the Castor clone to the end of the alleyway. A guard stands outside the warehouse door and opens the door for them.

“Uh-uh.” Brodie waves a finger at Helena. “She doesn’t need to be here.”

“We come as a package,” the doctor objects.

“She can wait outside. Don’t think I’ve got all night; I’m only offering you ten minutes.”

Helena stays outside, glaring at the guard as Brodie leads his guest inside. Delphine witnesses Neolutionists making phone calls, packaging bottles of Quartz pills, and casting suspicious glances in her direction. He plops himself on a sofa chair that appears to be crafted just for him. “So what leads the infamous Dr. Cormier to beseech my favor?”

“Who are you working for? Sanek?”

“No, you don't get to dictate the terms. Are you not afraid of what happens to those who know too much?”

“We all know you were the one who implanted Dr. Cosima Niehaus with the Metis chip. I’m not here to castigate or offer you up to CSIS. I simply want it gone. And if you concocted a method for implantation, surely you have a process of removal.”

“You guess correctly,” Brodie says as a Neolutionist offers him a glass of champagne. “You should probably try it sometime, if you know how to disable it. Otherwise, you know, poof!”

“As a Castor Clone, you must know what it’s like to glitch. We can recreate the cure we made for your brothers.”

“I'm immune!” Brodie exclaims. “The only one to have never experienced a glitch. Fled the experiment when I was fifteen, found an honest living wasn’t cutting it for my lifestyle…and then next thing I know, Dr. Virginia Coady comes calling and tells me she’s got the recipe for the Deal with the Devil – Quartz! I could hardly believe it myself."

“I still have some money, from my hospital settlement…”

“I have an entire palace, an entire kingdom paved of Quartz! You see, only a few things stand between me and a trillion freaking dollars. I’ve got the drug, but I also need the chip and I need the, oh what is it called, Ambrosia? So, if you didn’t come prepared to cut a deal, then you shouldn’t have come at all.”

“You let me in for a reason, didn’t you? I have something that you value.”

Brodie takes a gulp of champagne and smiles. “My request is a simple one; it won't require much of your time.”

“And you’ll conduct the operation to remove Cosima’s chip safely?” Delphine asks. “And promise never to harm her, or the other Leda sisters, again.”

“Brodie never goes back on a deal.”

“We believe you’re behind the sisters’ disappearances. I will also need you to free them.”

“Their whereabouts are out of my hands. You’re going to have to find Dr. Sanek for that one. But if you still want your original request met, that can be arranged. I will just need two things from you, two things that only you can provide. And in return, Dr. Niehaus will have the chip extracted, and I won’t even make you disappear for knowing our whereabouts.”

“Then state your terms. What is it that you are seeking from me?”


	12. The Devil's Bargain

_If you turned out evil, I would still love you all the same. But if I was, then you would leave me._

 

“It’s gone. $12 million in equipment and every security measure failed.”

“Which devices?”

Katie had just stepped into her manager’s office, relaying the information she received from Scott.

“Our most advanced memory extractor, the one with the world-building function. The Moirae Dreamscape. Very few colleagues had access to the codes; we must have been compromised from within. I don’t understand; the security system we had in place kicked into test mode just last night. It’s like they knew.”

Delphine resumes typing an email. “Please follow up with our security team to recommend and adopt additional security measures. Is there anything else I should know?”

Katie raises an eyebrow. “I was hoping we could meet with the entire team this afternoon to review our emergency action plan. To have this machine in the hands of our competitors, or the black market…”

“I’m booked with meetings this afternoon. Discuss the matter with Scott and keep me briefed.”

“Something’s not right,” the chief-of-staff replies, exasperated. “I know what you’re doing.”

The doctor looks up from the monitor and fidgets with her watch strap. “If you have something to say, tell me. That’s why I brought you in.”

Katie closes the door. “You hired a private investigator on Ivan. If I can find out about this, what are the chances that he could too? Your actions will get you fired, and then he’s going to be Director and your staff will either be laid off or serving him.”

“Retaining an investigator is not unlike anything he’s already done…”

“So that makes it right? You need to exercise more caution, because all the crumbs can lead back to you.”

“Do you have anything of importance left to say?” Delphine notices an incoming call from an unknown number on her smartphone and waves her chief-of-staff away. “Director Cormier speaking.”

“Tomorrow, 5 p.m. 582 Braxton.” _Click._

 

The next day, Delphine drives Cosima to a clinic at the edge of the city. Sarah, Cal, and Helena tag along in the car behind them for added protection.

“This is rather prompt,” Cosima notes. “How long have you been talking to surgeons behind my back?”

“Cosima…”

“Hey, I’m just joking. But seriously, I’d never heard of them or this hospital.”

“I sent them all the research we conducted with Scott, CSIS, and the hospital. They have a way of removing the chip without detonating it, a hundred percent guaranteed success.”

“No operation is one hundred percent. Have they done it before, considering there are so few known cases?”

“Trust me, _chèrie_ , this will succeed. It must.”

They step inside the clinic, and Cosima is confused by how few patients are present. Before she can express her concerns, a heavyset, bearded surgeon approaches them.

“Dr. Niehaus? I’m Dr. Kovacs. I’ve been speaking with your wife for the past week and believe we may have the answer to your predicament.” He offers a hand and his patient shakes it. “Right this way.”

Before they begin, Cosima asks for a moment. She turns to her wife and takes deep breaths. “I didn't know it had to be today.”

“The sooner, the better, _mon amour_. Sanek could detonate the chip at any time.”

The scientist takes her wife’s hands into her own. “I know we’ve been together for so long, and I don't want to only say this in these situations. But no matter what happens or how I may turn out, please remember how much I love you, and that will never change.”

Delphine blushes. Cosima had asserted her love every day, in words and in actions, but it was nevertheless embarrassing hearing such a bold proclamation in public. “I'll be with you every step of the way. I’m supervising. You'll be in good hands.”

After the scientist is put to sleep, Dr. Kovacs offers Delphine a tablet displaying a list of terms. The doctor places her thumb on the screen and looks straight into the webcam. She had to pass this safety mechanism in order to indicate her consent, appearing as though she was not under any duress. It was part of the deal, for Cosima. Permission is granted.

The operation takes over two hours. Delphine attempts to memorize the procedures Dr. Kovacs uses to defuse the chip. He moves quickly, recording his patient’s heartbeat and connecting the recorder to a magnet, which he presses against the chip. The operation completed, they stitch the scientist’s skin back in place.

“Thank you,” Delphine offers as the surgeons file out of the operating room.

“Think nothing of it,” Dr. Kovacs says. “Merely a favor, from one Neolutionist to another. Go and live a happy life with her.”

“How many of you are there, if I can ask.”

“Not as many as our heyday just a few years prior. But if you have any questions, you will need to address them to Dr. Sanek himself.”

“The one who had her implanted. Why would he permit you to remove the chip?”

“I also have my share of questions, Dr. Cormier. But right now, you have a deal to complete. I suggest you have your friends escort Dr. Niehaus home, and then visit the room at the end of the hallway.” He packs up the last of his instruments and leaves.

Sarah looks up anxiously as Delphine leaves the room with Cosima in a neck brace, confined to a wheelchair. “It’s all out? She’ll live?”

“The operation was a success. There are some issues I still need to clear with the medical staff. I’ll drive myself back, so please take her home safely.”

“We will. Take care, Delphine.”

As the doctor turns away, Helena glares at Delphine.

“I know you talked deal with Brodie,” she says. “I see you.”

The doctor nods, acknowledging her secret won’t stay this way forever. She makes her way to the end of the hallway and opens the door. She had to do this; they would surely find them if she broke her part of the agreement.

It is a small room, painted entirely in white, and empty save for the Moirae Dreamscape, which occupies a fourth of the space, a chair, and two individuals. One person she recognized as Allen, a former Markson employee who worked on the original Moirae and had since joined the Neolutionists. The other was Brodie.

“She came,” Brodie grins. “Onwards to the last part of the bargain: sit right here, and we’ll take care of the rest.”

“You figured out the manual in a day?”

“Was it supposed to be difficult?” Brodie asks. “You were right, it really can download all of a person’s memories. We tested it ourselves. Exponentially more powerful than the one made by Markson and developed in such a short amount of time. Now, there is nothing scandalous in your past, is that right?”

Delphine recalls the nights she spent experimenting in Westmoreland’s lab, and she shakes her head. “No. Take what you need. I have people waiting for me, and they’ll come searching if we do not wrap up in an hour.”

“Of course, who are we to impede on Director Cormier’s busy schedule?”

Allen places a headset on Delphine’s head and connects the wires to his laptop. Dr. Kovacs had already obtained the doctor’s consent to have her memories extracted. It was a security measure Scott had hard-wired into the Moirae.

 “Deep breaths. It’ll be over before you know it, and then you’ll be free to go…”

 

Delphine wakes up the next morning and turns to her side. Cosima is lying on their bed for the first time in weeks, clad in a neck brace. What time was it? She would be late for work!

The doctor rushes to the bathroom to get ready. Why was she so nauseous? She gazes into the mirror, taken aback by the aging, pale-faced woman with unruly, blonde hair staring back at her. Cosima’s affliction really had driven her to near insanity, and it took all that she had to contain herself on top of reckoning with her mental state.

Her vision blurs, and all she can hear is the sharp ringing in her ears. And a pulsing…she reaches for the back of her head and feels it…a scar. She runs her fingertips through the skin...she had to be dreaming. Had to be. There was no way. He promised; Brodie promised not to implant any more…Leda sisters.

Delphine dashes to her bed stand, flings the top drawer open, and takes out her smartphone, snapping a picture of her scar. It is blurry, but sure enough, something had happened over there. Not only that, the operation was methodical, deliberate: this chip was not only implanted where it was intended, it could be even more advanced and powerful than Cosima’s. Mind control would not be out of the question; the person that she was, her behavior, her character, all of that could change.

The doctor stares into the mirror, her eyes now blurred by her tears. _It’s over. Over and done._ There is absolutely no way she can avoid telling her wife. But this was not the time to get emotional, she needed to think clearly, now more than ever, and there wasn’t a minute to waste.

She picks up her smartphone and makes a call. “I need you to send me all the files you have, right now.” Afterward, she begins her research on the court system of California website. Before leaving for work, she kisses her wife on the head.

 

That afternoon, Ivan is surprised to find himself summoned to the conference room. Delphine sits inside with Katie and the HR Manager.

“What’s going on?” He takes a seat as Delphine dials a number on the conference phone and places the call on speakerphone.

“Ivan, this is Vijay,” the chairman begins. “I’ll get to the point. A few allegations of sexual misconduct have come to our attention from your previous companies of employment.”

“Oh, has it?” He looks at the doctor knowingly, then turns his head back, angrily nodding his head, his fists balled up in controlled rage. “Why are Delphine and Katie in here as well?”

“We need to take a look into these allegations,” Vijay continues. “If true, they present serious cases of a repeated pattern of behavior. Until we conclude our investigation, you will be placed on unpaid leave. Is there anything you would like to say?”

Ivan stands up. “There is no truth to these accusations, but there is also no need to drag our organization through a PR crisis. I will tender my resignation. I regret not being permitted the chance to carry out your vision, but the last thing I would wish is to become a distraction.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

As the meeting ends, Ivan turns back one last time, waving a finger at Delphine. “You’re next. I will bury you with the dirt I have, just you wait.”

When they return to the office, Katie opens her mouth to express her concerns, but Delphine speaks first. “Ivan’s likely expecting severance in exchange for his early departure, so I will need to discuss his exit with Vijay later this afternoon. We will be officially announcing the transition in tomorrow’s board meeting. Based on an earlier conversation this morning, we agreed that if Ivan left, you will serve as interim Vice Chair, effective immediately.”

“I…”

“Not only that, I would like you to be the first to know that I am resigning, effective tomorrow. You will become the Director…”

“You never asked me if I wanted any of this!” Katie exclaims, the first time she raised her voice with her boss. “One year, you told me, to help you get on your feet in your new position. And now…you oust Ivan, you insert me, and the visuals are that I’ve launched a coup. My plans for a spring wedding are essentially over.”

“Your hands are clean, and you shouldn't live in my shadow,” Delphine replies calmly. “I need to think of the company, and you’re the only person I can trust with this role. You know, when Vijay first offered me this position, I had my reservations as well.”

“I cannot accept. You never transitioned anything about this role to me!”

“But you understand my job from start to finish. And honestly, you are more qualified than I am, and I think it is about time you recognized it. I have even more important matters to attend to at the moment, so please, reconsider. I know your sense of duty will compel you to accept.”

“Why are you doing this? Why now?”

“Because I have been complicit in an inexcusable theft at this company, and now, I have a medical situation. Does that answer your question?”

 

Delphine returns home with a stack of papers under one arm. She is pleased to find Adele in the living room, poring over her laptop and unwinding with a cup of coffee.

“Adele, I’m going to need your help. Cosima will be back any minute now.”

“Of course. What can I do for you?”

Half an hour later, Cosima opens the front door. Delphine sits at the dining room table, and Adele walks up to the scientist, handing her a manila folder.

“You’re home early. What’s this?” The scientist smiles, drops her backpack, and takes the folder. She looks over the forms inside, and her expression quickly fades from joy to anger as she flips through the petition and summons. “This is the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

Adele leans over for a glance. “I’m so sorry. She dragged me into this. I didn’t realize she was asking me to serve you…”

“I’m never going to divorce you,” Cosima says, completely caught off guard. “You really filled all this out? What’s wrong? Do you not feel any love left in our relationship? Is there someone else? What did I do?”

The scientist sits down at the dining room table and places a hand on her wife’s shoulder. “We just got my chip out, and I know that’s a big relief for us all, but…I still need you.” She fights back the tears, trying to meet the doctor’s eyes. “Hey, talk to me? Please?”

Delphine continues to avert her wife’s gaze and slowly explains what happened, as matter-of-factly as she could. There are no excuses for what she did. The fallout, she expected it. She just didn’t expect the house of cards to topple so soon, didn’t know she would be subjected to the chip herself.

“The chip…it’s inside your head?” Cosima feels the rage welling from her chest to her throat, her mind fixated only on the betrayal. “I have had it up to here with you!” She stands up, rubbing her thumbs against her temples.

“And now you want to end it.” The scientist folds her arms and turns around. “Do you not have any respect for the sacrifices we made? Did you not trust that we could figure this out together? What part of you thought that I could possibly be okay with that deal?!”

“Nothing!” But still, Delphine had made the decision for her wife. “There is only one thing left to do. As your legal spouse, there is no telling what they can make me do to hurt you: ruin your finances, take control of medical decisions…I am sorry for putting you in this position.”

“Oh, that will make things right again. Just say you’re sorry!” Cosima yells, the angriest she had ever been. It didn’t matter that Adele was there, or if the entire neighborhood could hear her.

“Let’s be clear, this is a betrayal!” The scientist slams a hand on the table. “You may think of this as some heroic display of glorified, sacrificial love, you can spin this however you want, but I want you to know that to me you’re anything but. I can’t even look at you right now.”

“You think I did this for the glory?” the doctor shoots back. “I couldn’t stand to see you confined in that space…not when you had so much left to offer this world. You could become the youngest female Nobel Laureate in Medicine, your own chair said it himself...”

“What would a hundred, a thousand Nobel prizes mean to me...if you're not here?! Have you even considered what would become of the Institute?”

“It is in good hands with Katie.”

“There goes her newfound marital bliss with Scott. As well as the beginning of the end of our relationship.”

“It’s already over,” Delphine responds calmly . “Our entire relationship was premised on a lie, but we made the decision to see it through, as though there was nothing to reconcile!

“But it’s over now, and I’m not going to be the same person you remember. So let's finish one last thing, while I still have my autonomy. Please just sign the papers and make it less difficult, for the both of us.”

“How can you possibly ask this of me?!” Cosima exclaims, her voice quivering. “If you honestly believed that divorce is the only answer, then why didn’t you propose it when I was implanted?”

“There is a difference between you and I,” the doctor replies. “If you turned out evil, I would still love you all the same. But if I was, then you would leave me. And that’s part of what I respect so much about you. Your principles, your integrity, always come first.”

“That’s not the only difference between us,” the scientist scoffs. “I actually believed you respected me and my ability to choose, but you gave me no choice in this matter. No matter what my reaction was going to be, it wouldn’t have made a difference to you. I was bartered for a machine and a memory. And to believe they now hold the keys to recreating Ambrosia, and with the mind control chip they can force you to make it for them. Did it not occur to you why they offered this trade?”

“Without Van Lier’s contribution, the information is useless.”

“But it brings them one step closer. We almost died destroying all traces of the Ambrosia!”

“We shouldn't be arguing. It's Sanek who started this. We should be focusing on how to defeat him.”

“So now you want us to work together? He's trying to destroy us, and you're willingly handing him the ammunition. It amazes me still how single-minded a human being you can be. You already signed the documents! How could you do this to me?!” Cosima is breaking down, her world slipping away from her.

“You know, I’ve been screwed over many times in my life,” the scientist seethes. “I’ve been exploited and used as a lab experiment. It’s the basis of my existence, for Christ sakes! But the times I’ve had my trust so callously violated the most, all of those transgressions were caused by you. And I have never felt as betrayed as I do now. I…I can’t…Delphine. Please, just leave.”

“Cosima…”

“Get out! Get out of the house!” She would push her wife out if she had to.

Delphine departs with only the clothes on her back. Adele hides in Kira’s room and makes a call to Sarah.

Cosima collapses against the wall. The extraction of her Metis chip had been paid for in Delphine’s blood. Sanek was not done, now moving on to her marriage and her loved ones.

_Can’t breathe…_


	13. Cosima's Vision

_Peacetime makes you forget, doesn’t it?_

 

When Delphine briefly served as Director of the Dyad Institute, Cosima appeared in her office one night clutching her letter of resignation. They argued, the scientist revealed she was brought back to life by a vision of her beloved, and the doctor pulled them into a kiss.

_Come here, come here. My love._

They were just two lonely souls, starved for each other, the separation and longing unbearable. Cosima pulled away, acknowledging that no matter how long they kissed, it would never be enough to erase the pain that would flood her afterward, confronted by the reality that she was with Shay now while her beloved remained with Dyad.

“You should have trusted me,” Delphine said. “Why do you continue to doubt my intentions, when I made a promise to always protect you?”

Cosima stared back, her fear morphing into disdain. “Could you even comprehend the price you must pay, for loving a clone, the sacrifices you'll be required to make? People have placed their lives on the line; they have died trying to save us.

“You’re a woman of status now, Delphine. Am I really supposed to believe you’re willing to give that all up? You lead a corporation that views us as property.”

“I have been working with the Neolutionists for some time now,” Delphine shot back, offended by her beloved’s failure to see the endgame. “I understand the risks full well. There is so much that you don’t know, that you don’t understand.

“You don’t get to see the people who challenge my authority every week, every day. You don’t realize the sacrifices I make to protect you and your sisters! The only person who supported me was Marion from Topside, and she was recently terminated. In Dyad-speak, that doesn’t mean fired. I am the only one left who is willing to protect you.”

“Protect me?” Cosima scoffed. “From who? Delphine, do you even recognize the person who has hurt me the most? You claim to be shielding me from Dyad, from…Shay? But what have you really accomplished? You lied to my face! You pretended to love me in order to steal information about my sisters. You sold them out!”

“I know my actions then were misguided. I don’t pretend that it wasn’t. But I am on your side.”

“You opposed me and Shay being together from the very start and then insinuated that she’s some spy! But who was the one who ended our relationship? You were the one who sunk that ship, and now you’re dictating who I can or cannot be with?”

“Why are you so fixated on this?" Delphine retorted. "You are dying, what has passed between us is not what’s important! Every action I have taken to protect your sisters has only served to help them survive another day, another week. I won't be able to keep those threats at bay forever. That's why you need to trust my vision of how this ends.

"I know this makes no sense right now, but stay with Dyad. I will continue to do everything in my power to keep you and your sisters safe. If you had ever loved me...”

Of course Cosima had, there was no question. It pained her how strongly she still felt about this woman, the one who coaxed her back to life.

“When I saw a vision of you that day…the day I almost died,” Cosima stuttered. “You were cloaked in a veil of blinding, white light. You looked like an angel. And…scientific me, ‘I-need-evidence’ me, believed it was a sign, that at your core you are a good person. And now I see you, Director of Dyad…”

“Cosima…if there is any part of you that still believes what we shared was real, any part of you that still trusts me, any shred of us that is still left…then stay. Because if by now you still cannot believe me, then I will know what we had…it meant nothing to you. That you never truly thought we were possible...”

“There is nothing – we have nothing!” Cosima exclaimed, blinking back tears. “Not every love story works out in the end. You think you're the realist, but can you even fathom our situation? Everything we shared has already burned to ashes, any beauty that could come from this relationship has been exploited and abused and destroyed!” What the hell was Delphine doing, kissing her like that when she was the one who ended it?

The doctor kept a straight face throughout the rant. “You need to believe me. Please believe me. You must believe me. I am begging, pleading, commanding you. If there is any part of you, that still loves me…If you leave now, I'll know.”

“You can’t even decide whose side you’re on! You know, against my better judgment, against all common sense, I did love you. There is so much about you that I find admirable; you are brave and compassionate and brilliant…

“But because of this one thing…because you say things are certain way and then I discover the reality is different, over and over…If I can’t trust your words and you can’t trust me with the truth, then you know what? You were right to say goodbye. We could have never been possible.”

With that, Cosima left the office before her beloved could notice the tears streaming down her chin.

_Then I am nothing to you._

 

***

 

“Oi! Oi, Delphine!” Sarah rolls down a car window and honks the horn.

The doctor turns around in surprise.

“You just gonna wander around here? It’s getting dark.” Sarah takes off her seat belt and moves to open the front passenger-side door. “Cosima doesn’t get to decide who stays or goes in my house. Come in.”

Delphine relents and enters the car.

“Adele told me what happened,” Sarah says. “I don’t know what you were thinking, but times are different now. Back then you might not have cared what happened to you; perhaps you doubted if my sister even cared for your well-being.

“But now that you two are stronger than ever, it’s different. I know Cosima looks out for you more than she does for herself. If anything happened to you, the person you’d be hurting the most is her. It’s a sentiment that took me a while to accept myself, that anyone could care for me in such a way. But I’ll leave it to you two to figure it out.”

When the doctor opens the front door, she sees Cosima at the living room table, hovered over her laptop. The scientist shoots her a disdainful look, shuts the laptop, and stands up to leave.

“I’ll talk to her.” Sarah turns to Delphine. “Go up to your room.”

Cosima puts her hands up. “Don’t come near me.”

“We need to talk. Come on.” Sarah ushers her sister to the car, and they sit inside. The scientist folds her arms, refusing to make eye contact.

“You remember that night a few days before the wedding, when I had to go out and find you?” Sarah asks. “This is just like that, only this time, you left her out there, knowing she’s got a Metis chip implanted in her brain. You’re not afraid some Neolutionist will pick her up?”

Cosima gazes out the window, her body still quaking in anger. “All I wanted was for us to live out our boring gay lives! Even now, it doesn't hit her that a little communication could solve 90 percent of future issues."

Sarah laughs. “Peacetime makes you forget, doesn’t it? You knew you were marrying into this. Had you forgotten, this was just how your wife is and will always be. You didn’t change it when you had a chance, in the Moirae."

"It’s like she never considers how I feel about these things. If it mattered, she wouldn’t have pulled this bullshit.”

“Delphine doesn't give a shite what people think. When she wants something she goes for it, your feelings be damned. And just like you, she's stubborn as hell. She’s placed herself at great risk for all of us…”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you. Since when were you ever on her side? All that time, while we were at war with Dyad, you were telling me how she couldn’t be trusted. Delphine may have saved my life, but that doesn’t mean I owe her my fealty, that she gets a pass…”

“And she never asked you for it! Cos, I’ve known you for so many years. I’ve been through this cycle with you, where you don’t trust her but she ends up protecting us. Would you not have done the same in her place?”

“I wouldn’t have negotiated with Neos.”

“That’s not what I asked. Even S pulled dodgy deals with unsavory characters all the time back in the day. I disagreed with them at the time, but they helped keep us alive. Would a part of you have been resentful if you knew was she presented this offer but refused?”

“I didn’t want her involved in any of this. Her tactics always end up blowing up in her face. And yet she still single-mindedly pursues them.”

“Cos, Delphine always thought one step ahead. She knew, but she didn’t care. The one thing that will always trump all else is your welfare, our welfare. It's not surprising to me. You're all that she has.”

“I wish she went out and made more friends.”

“Well, there's not that many people out there as cool as us.”

“True.” Cosima sighs. “I don't know how she does it. I'm just a four-eyed science geek. She's far more accomplished than I'll ever be. I don't think I’m capable of making that level of sacrifice for anyone, even as I love her more than anything in this world.”

“Honestly, I don't think I'd be willing to lay down my life to save Cal either,” Sarah says. “I'd probably hide under the justification that I need to be there for Kira. And he's a great guy; I can't think of a single thing I find objectionable about him.

“So my question to you is: what’s your endgame? If this was to teach her a lesson, she hasn’t learned it. She needs you more than ever now, and you never leave a partner behind. You need to forgive her. And you need to forgive yourself too.”

Cosima shakes her head. “Typically you wrong me, whatever. We're good the next day. I've never been in a situation where I was this upset, and I'm still figuring out how to process it. She actually intended to divorce me, Sarah.”

“Talk to her. There must be another solution.”

“Why did you give her your blessing to marry me?”

“Oi, so it’s all my fault? Piss off! You two are about as compatible as peanut butter and gravy. Your value systems are not aligned. What would you have done if I had said no?”

“I don’t know…probably elope.”

“There you have it. Look, there was a method in the madness, why I approved of your marriage. Because I knew she was the one person who will always love, cherish, and protect you. And if she’s able to stand you for long periods of time, then she’s quite the rare specimen indeed. But for now, let’s figure out what we’re going to do to keep your wife safe. The Rabbit Hole…”

“No. Nobody is going back down there.”

“If it was good enough for you, why not her?”

“They probably know where she is with GPS tracking, even at the Rabbit Hole they’ll get her out if they really wanted to. They already downloaded all her memories of the Ambrosia, so the only practical reason for the implant is to force her work for them. Or in Sanek’s case, to get under my skin and destroy the ones I love.”

“Cal knows a thing or two about security. We’ll talk to him, transform the house into a fortress, retrofit the place with security…”

“For a moment there, it felt like I was talking to Siobhan,” Cosima notes. “Thank you, Sarah. But you should discuss this with Delphine and keep me posted. Right now, I can’t even look her in the eye.”

 

Cal and Felix offer to keep watch in the living room every night. Cameras are hidden inside the house and out, and every window and door is secured. Scott and Hell Wizard work on developing a new GPS clone ring for her. In the meanwhile, Cosima stays the night in Sarah’s room while Delphine spends much of her time communicating over webcam with Katie, the new director.

A few days pass with nothing of note. Cosima returns home one night spotting Delphine sitting in the living room, strapped to a Moirae, with Scott and Hell Wizard by her side.

“Hey guys, can I make you some tea or something?”

“That would be great.” Watching his friend move into the kitchen, Scott turns to the doctor. “Still not talking to you, huh?”

Delphine sighs. “She’s been upset before, but never for this long. I cannot blame her. Is there any way you can override the Moirae?”

“The one you gave them, no,” Scott shakes his head. “Without physically accessing the Dreamscape, I won’t be able to activate the kill switch. However, Hell Wizard said he could set a trap, a tweak to the code. But in order to hack the system, they’ll need to connect to the Internet first. And they would need to do that eventually if they want to unlock some of the newer features, like world building.”

“So far it’s been offline and off the radar,” Hell Wizard adds. “But rest assured as we are constantly on the lookout. Once the Dreamscape connects, we’ll hack it and cut off the guardian’s privileges or something of the like.”

“That said, it would have been easier if you gave me a heads up,” Scott adds. “I could have timed the kill switch to activate or placed a GPS tracker. Or I could have extracted your memories myself and skip the step where they implant you.”

“I couldn’t,” the doctor replies. “That would have raised questions. You might tell Cosima, and I can't have you involved in company theft...”

“What happened has happened,” Cosima interrupts, placing two mugs of tea next to her friends.

“Well, there is one good thing to come out of all this,” Scott says. “I recorded Delphine’s memories of your chip extraction. I think I’ve solved the mystery of how to remove it without any self-destruction involved.”

The researcher plays the clip on his laptop. “See here, they’re measuring and recording Cosima’s pulse. There’s a reason for that. When they opened the flap of skin, we see this small copper chip, that’s the Metis chip…here.” He pauses the screen and draws a purple oval around the device.

“Now here we see them placing a magnet next to the chip, and it’s hooked up to a recorder which I believe is playing Cosima’s heartbeat. And if I skip over a few minutes, Delphine makes a side glance to the chip on the table, which is still connected to the magnet and recorder.

“If my hypothesis is correct, once the chip is implanted, it picks up the user’s heartbeat. Once deprived of the pulse, it could detonate, killing the user. Of course, we would have to test this theory to be certain.”

“Could we operate on Delphine?” Cosima asks. “What are the odds of success?”

“I’m not a doctor, but it appears doable with the right equipment. Maybe we can assemble a team at the Institute and figure this out.”

“Could you talk to Katie about it?” the scientist persists. “The sooner, the better. Who knows when Sanek might decide to just end it all.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Scott grips Delphine’s hand. “Keep strong, okay?”

 

As Cosima lies in bed that night, she deliberates her next move. She should have been there for her wife, assured her how much she still cared during this difficult time. Surely they’ll be able to extract the Metis chip before it’s too late, their world will return to normalcy, and their relationship will be back on track.

Should Cosima return to their bedroom and offer her wife love and support? No, Delphine still had the chip implanted, after all, and who knows how she’d react. There was always tomorrow. The scientist will whip up some of her wife’s favorites: veggie stew with a dash of red wine and an espresso cheesecake.

Lying in bed, Cosima recalls an incident that transpired several years ago, not long after Delphine’s disappearance. The scientist had dozed off while researching a cure to the Leda disease and experienced another vision: she and the doctor were together, laughing like old friends, dancing, fooling around…it was as though they were in heaven now, freed from the pain, no more drama or separation.

If not for Scott’s phone call, she would have kept dreaming. She hadn’t realized it then, how close she came to slipping away. Shay had a theory, that the last image a person sees will be the one thing they can’t live without. Cosima had seen Delphine in a vision before, and now, even after meeting Shay, the doctor remained the one she loved the most.

Back in Sarah’s room, the scientist drifts off to sleep while her sister snores beside her.

 

Three hours later, Delphine’s phone rings off the hook, the calls unanswered until she is jolted awake by a buzz from the Metis chip. _Who’s calling at this hour?_ She picks up the phone.

“You have 15 seconds to exit the house until the chip self-destructs,” a female voice states from the other side.

The doctor barely had any time to process. She had to leave…now. She rushes to Sarah’s room.

“Nine…eight…”

Cosima’s arm is lying outside the blanket, the one with the clone ring. Delphine rushes over to grab it, almost yanking her wife’s hand.

“Five…four…”

Downstairs, Cal is asleep on a sofa chair, armed with a rifle. Felix is passed out over a mattress on the living room floor. The doctor places her phone on a table by the front door, inputs a code, and carefully leaves the house.

In the dark, she makes out the silhouette of a black van, with the engine still running. She didn’t have time to put on a jacket, and the cold night air assaults her skin. The van door swings open, and before her sits…Rachel Duncan, her skin still scarred from the Revival fire.

“We meet again, Dr. Cormier.”

 

The next morning, Cosima goes all out for breakfast, preparing an egg, cheese, and guacamole croissant, with chopped strawberries on the side.

“Thanks Cos,” Sarah picks up a strawberry, but the scientist slaps her sister's hand aside. “What?”

“It’s for her wifey,” Felix says, cramming a breakfast sandwich into his mouth. “I get one as the designated taster.”

“Speaking of Delphine, where is she?” Sarah asks. “The bedroom door was open, but I didn’t see her.”

Cosima puts a carton of orange juice down and looks at her hands. She still had her wedding band…but where was her clone ring? She storms through the house and rifles through Delphine’s drawer. Her wife’s wedding band is still there, and the watch remains on the nightstand.

“If she intended to leave, she would have brought this all with her.” The scientist gives the doctor a call, and the phone vibrates on a small table by the front door. “Delphine? Delphine!”

“Did you see her last night?” Sarah asks Felix and Cal, and they shake their heads no.

“We can check the security footage,” Cal says. “That will tell us something.”

They review the tape, and sure enough, for a few seconds they see Delphine enter Sarah’s bedroom and remove Cosima’s ring.

“What the hell is she doing?” Cosima furrows her brow.

Delphine heads down the stairs, disables the alarm, and opens the front door.

“What’s outside?” the scientist asks, panicking.

Finally, they bring up the outside footage and watch Delphine entering the van.

“No, no there has to be more than that,” Cosima says, pacing the room and turning back to the screen. “Why would she do that? Why now?”

“We’ll find her,” Sarah calmly asserts. “Take a deep breath; you’re hyperventilating.”

“Sanek has her! He’s trying to get to me! God, no!”

“Cosima!” Sarah holds onto her sister, who loses it in the moment, breaking down, gasping desperately for air, the world coming apart at the seams. “Cos, look at me. You need to keep calm and breathe. Stay with me!”


	14. Make This Right

_You signed your life, your freedom away for free lattes?!_

 

_Delphine Cormier was shot dead at the Dyad Parkade._

_Oh God no!_

It had been only weeks since Delphine’s disappearance, but to Cosima the days lasted an eternity. Lying in bed, every night, haunted by her failure to act, to protect her former lab partner. And then she heard it, the confirmation. Out in an abandoned field, where murders can unfold without anyone batting an eye…

Kendall, the Leda original, was shot dead and her remains torched to prevent the Clone Club from developing a cure to the autoimmune disease afflicting the sisters. Cosima had willed herself to live, to continue on for that cure. Now their best hope was incinerated, and with that, Cosima understood her death was imminent. She knelt down, unfeeling, so numb to the pain she can no longer process her surroundings.

And then, to hear the words, that Delphine was dead. It shattered her, broke her, destroyed her, an anguish that consumed every part of her that could still feel, bawling as her breath leaves her body.

The scientist was as good as dead, her only purpose now was to serve as Neolution’s messenger, the only reason she was spared. She called Sarah, sharing the devastating news.

Cosima had doggedly pursued that cure, a cause Delphine had also committed herself to, encouraging the scientist to persevere in that Dyad lab. Everything the doctor had done, it was for her. And now she was dead. They should have never crossed paths.

How unfair it was, to have Delphine’s life taken so soon! She deserved far better. Why couldn’t Cosima had just swallowed her pride, chased the doctor down and assured her friend of how precious her life was? That someone on this cursed earth actually gave a damn, even if Delphine discounted her own life.

_I love you. I can’t believe I only told you this twice. I may not believe in a higher power, but if there was one that could bring you back, there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for your sake. Our relationship was the one thing science could never explain to me, but it’s the one thing I believed in, even if I was too proud to admit it._

In spite of all she endured that night, Cosima still had to drag her half-dying body home. It was almost daylight when the scientist finally returned to her bed, completely devoid of strength, but she cannot fall asleep.

She pulled out her smartphone to look up old pictures of her and Delphine, only to discover she didn’t really have any. Maybe her friend had taken a few with them together, but the scientist had never asked her to send the photos.

_Defy them and live your life with every ounce of passion that I know you have._

_This is the beginning of getting you well, Cosima._

_Give your sisters all my love._

As the memories haunted her, Cosima came across a video of them on her phone. When did they film this? They had just completed their shift at the Dyad Institute and were heading home, laughing as they crossed the sidewalk. She remembered this moment; there was a spectacular sunset and she took a photograph of the skies above, prompting Delphine to ask why she never took a picture of them together.

“Okay, fine, we’ll take a photo,” Cosima said in the video. “C’mon serious face now, Cormier.”

The doctor laughed and leaned into her beloved, pressing a kiss against the scientist’s lips.

“Yeah, ready? We’re going to take it now. Oh wait, my phone was set on video! Hey, where’d you go? Come on!”

“Let me straighten my hair.”

“You’re in curls! So while we’re on video, Delphine…besides me, what’s your favorite part of working at the lab?”

“What do you mean? Scott is my favorite part of working at the lab.”

“That’s puppy Cormier for you right there. Seems innocent and all…but watch out, when you’re not looking she’ll eat your kids!”

Cosima manages a smile, a tear streaming down her cheek as the video continued.

“I don’t think you’ve ever taken me on a date,” Delphine said, rolling her eyes.

“Never? We need to fix that. Wait, so we’re serious now?”

“I’m always serious, Cosima.” The doctor forced a stern frown but quickly devolved into giggles.

“Okay then. One of these days, I will prepare you a full course, home-cooked meal. It’ll be a candlelit dinner with fine wine and music, and I’ll teach you how to swing dance.”

“ _Promets-tu?_ ”

“We have video evidence right here. I’ll be happy to do it.”

With the doctor’s passing, Cosima would never be able to keep that promise, and Delphine would not fulfill her vow of protection.

Yes, the scientist loved her, and she always will. But what did her puppy ever really do, except barge into her life, assert her love in French, sow chaos, and leave? Why the hell would Delphine break up with her, claiming it was for the Leda sisters’ protection, then become so ravaged by jealousy she all but took the life of the scientist’s rebound, Shay?

But no, it was always her, the one her heart ached for, cried out for, her soulmate. She should have been the one to take the bullet, it was her fight not Delphine’s, and now one of the women in the video was dead while the other lay dying.

In her denial, Cosima called Delphine, knowing full well no one would answer the phone.

_Pick up. Please, please pick up._

The phone beeped, and the scientist left a voicemail. “Hey, it’s me. I just wanted to make sure you’re safe and…see if everything is okay. Please call me back. I love you. Bye.”

_You promised! You promised to always protect me! Then why didn’t you stay?_

In the weeks following Delphine’s disappearance, Cosima would call again and again.

“Hi again. Will you please answer the phone? I’m sorry. I wish everything could have ended differently between us. There’s so much left to say…I want to see you again and hold you in my arms one more time. Please?”

She called and called until one day, the message after the ring changed. _The voice mailbox is full._

 

***

 

The night after Delphine left Siobhan’s house, Art stops by to interview Cosima and Sarah about the disappearance.

“According to Scott, the clone ring’s GPS signal points to the abandoned Dyad building in Toronto. And if we look at the most recent texts Delphine received from her source…” Cosima pulls up a few photographs from her wife’s phone. “Utility invoices for that address. A shell company tied to Al-Khatib's wife has been paying to keep the offices open. Solar panels on the roof, running water…”

Art takes a look at the pictures. “These are certainly helpful. At least these Neolutionists are eco-friendly. Send these to me, along with the GPS signal.”

“Definitely, but…when are we moving in?” the scientist asks. “We’ve got at least one life in critical danger right now, and if this isn’t enough evidence to go ahead…”

“We have a process. Right now, I wouldn’t say this is enough proof for us to raid the place. Plus, there’s no telling what we may find. It could be a trap; we could be set up for an ambush. So I suggest we allow CSIS to finish the job this time.”

“Okay. And when does that start?”

“It can be days, maybe a week or two. I need to run this by HQ, put together a team, and obtain a search warrant. This case does not necessarily strike us as a kidnapping. Most people who disappear often return within the week, many leave by their own volition. We can’t simply…”

“So what more do you need? Twenty people kidnapped? Fifty?”

Sarah interjects. “Cos, Art is right. There is a reason why things are done the way they are. And if we want to increase the odds of success, we can’t just barge in guns a-blazing.”

“Bullshit. That’s how you used to do everything!” the scientist exclaims. “If this was Kira or Felix, you’d be the first one at the gate. And Art, with all due respect, you’d think differently if Maya or Beth were taken. So if none of you are going, I will.”

“You’ll get yourself killed in two seconds flat,” Sarah replies. “S wouldn’t march into a crisis without a plan, and neither should you.”

“Cosima, come on now,” Art says. “I’m treating this case as though Delphine was my own, and she’s one of us. You know what I was doing this morning? Interviewing Krystal. She almost got herself kidnapped, if not for some bystander intervention. If you want to help, maybe you can talk to her and glean what additional information you can.”

After bidding Art farewell, Sarah turns to her sister. “I have to get back to base, but I’ll come with you to see Krystal tomorrow, and we’ll figure it out, all right?”

“Am I the only person who thinks this is urgent? Delphine has a fricking chip in her brain that can self-destruct at any moment!”

“Which is why you should stay away and have CSIS work it out. For all we know, she might be evil now, churning out Ambrosia for Neolution.”

“That doesn’t make her life any less precious.”

“I didn’t say it did. For chrissakes, we’ll figure it out, Cos! I didn’t think it’d have to be me telling you this, but don’t mess it up. You two are a package deal to the Neolutionists, a treasure trove of scientific ingenuity, and the last thing we need is for you two to fall into their clutches again.”

Before Sarah can finish berating her sister, she cringes and grips her stomach. She rushes to the bathroom and hovers over the toilet bowl. Cosima enters soon afterward and holds her sister’s hair back. “I got you.”

“I’m fine, really, you can go.”

“What is this thing on your neck?” It takes a moment for the scientist to make the connection. “Are you on Quartz? Sarah?”

“I’m fine! Can you focus on your own matters?” Sarah coughs up another round of vomit into the toilet.

“You can die from that! How long has this been going on?”

“Don’t you dare start on me, you judgmental shite! You think you’re the only one who’s perfect, who’s made good choices? You and your distinguished career and wonderful wife? Piss off!” Sarah grabs her jacket from the coat rack and runs to her car before her sister can say another word.

_What the hell?_

 

There was nothing left to do as Sarah wasn’t answering any of her phone calls. Cosima looks up Krystal’s address and memorizes the directions. Krystal was possibly the most image-conscious of the Leda sisters: a hapless esthetician, conspiracy theorist, and Internet celebrity.

“Where are you going?” Charlotte asks as her older sister puts on a scarf and coat.

“You and Kira are old enough now, right? Can I count on you two to watch yourselves for an hour?”

“Kira’s asleep, but wherever you’re going, I think you can use some help.”

The scientist opens her mouth to turn down the assistance, but there was something reassuring about her sister’s offer and she could use the company. “Okay. Bring your clone ring with you.”

On the drive to Krystal’s apartment, Cosima asks Charlotte about high school, but her younger sister seems more concerned with how the scientist was doing.

“I’m just hoping right now that Delphine is still alive,” Cosima says. “It’s hard to focus on anything else. But I do want you to know that I’ve experienced guilt over the years. While you traveled from foster home to foster home, here I was, preoccupied with my research. I shouldn’t have let you to stay in homes that didn’t give you the love you deserve.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen with Delphine now, if she’s going to make it or be the same person I remember. But regardless of what ends up happening, if you are willing, you can come live with us and be a part of our family. That is, if you want to. You don’t have to make a decision right now.”

“I would love to be a part of your family,” Charlotte responds instantly. “I didn’t want to ask and make you feel compelled or obligated.”

The scientist smiles, placing a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “We would both love to have you, once all this is over, for sure.”

 

A plainclothes officer patrols the apartment hallway, but she allows the visitors inside with Krystal’s permission. The officer doesn’t appear to make out any resemblance among the three Leda sisters, Cosima in her glasses and dreadlocks and Krystal with her bright blonde hair and ostentatious makeup.

“What happened, everything, I need to know about it,” Cosima says as soon as they sit down.

“How about you tell me what’s going on?” Krystal asks. “Since you seem to know everything.”

“We already told you everything. We’ve gone over Project Leda, told you about PT Westmoreland, founder of Neolution; Aldous Leekie, former Dyad director; Virginia Coady, head of Project Castor; Ferdinand Chevalier, Topside cleaner…”

“Okay, why should I care who cleans Topside? Next thing I know, you’ll be giving me a rundown of the Neolution chefs.”

“Just tell me what happened this morning, because they took my wife too.”

“You mean Frenchie? I mean, that French doctor? Let me think…” Krystal takes a deep breath. “It all started after my friend Brie and I were getting our nails done. We found a place that offered this special once a week where if you…”

“Krystal, please.”

“All right, the kidnapping. So afterwards, we met with at this coffeehouse, and the owner offered me a year’s supply of free coffee if I promoted them on my Instagram account. So I was signing a contract with them, page after page of legalese, and soon all the customers were leaving and next thing I knew…” She snaps her fingers. “They bound my hands and blindfolded me! They said I belonged to them now, and if Brie hadn’t stepped outside and shouted for help when it happened…”

“What the hell, Krystal, you signed your life, your freedom away for free lattes?!” Cosima stands up, indignant. “Do you have any idea what Delphine sacrificed to emancipate you?!”

Charlotte touches Cosima’s arm, trying to calm her down.

“The contract also threw in a free massage date for two, okay?”

They hear a desperate banging at the door, and Cosima opens it. The officer lies on the ground, bloodied, as two Neolutionists appear in the hallway. Unlike the old Neolutionists, with their body piercings and white contact lenses, the new ones are clean cut and dressed in designer suits.

“Shit shit shit.” Cosima pulls the officer inside and locks the door.

“Oh God, oh God!” Krystal runs around in circles. “I call dibs on the bathroom.”

“They’re going to take us!” Cosima shouts. “Put on your clone ring and call 911!” The door rattles at its hinges as the Neolutionists attempt to break it down.

The scientist leads Charlotte to the cabinet, removes the pots inside, and places them in the sink. “Here, hide.” She asks for her sister’s clone ring and slips it on her finger. Then she takes out her smartphone, removes her wedding band, and gives them to her sister for safekeeping.

Cosima returns to tend to the officer, but the Neolutionists break in and finish her off with a shot to the neck. The scientist raises her hands in surrender. No, no she couldn’t die now, not when she still had to find her wife.

The scientist drifts in and out of consciousness, frightened out of her mind, as the Neolutionists debate their next step.

 _What do we do with this one?_ _That face. She's a Leda. She hasn’t signed…she saw everything. Call Brodie._

There was nothing Cosima could do as they forced a tranquilizer needle into her neck. The last thing she remembered was Krystal’s wails dying down…

 

***

 

It was their first weekend together after Cosima and Delphine began their new lives as fully employed professionals: the scientist lecturing at UC Berkeley and the doctor toiling away at Vijay’s budding new institute. The sun had just begun to rise, its rays seeping through the window of their San Jose apartment.

Usually it was Delphine who woke up at insanely early hours, but this morning, Cosima was sitting in bed, working on her laptop while her wife shuffled beside her, still half-asleep. The doctor instinctively moved her head to her wife’s lap and jealously wrapped an arm around them.

Cosima smiled. “ _Bonjour, Madame Cormier, l'endormie_. Looks like somebody wants attention.” Only her wife could get away with these shenanigans. The scientist ran her fingers through the doctor’s golden mane and gently rubbed the side of her wife’s body.

As Delphine moved ever closer, Cosima put the laptop away and returned to bed. “Okay, come here, my puppy. My, how you’ve grown.”

The puppy metaphor fit perfectly. The doctor had been abused and abandoned by her former Neolutionist masters. But with love and tenderness, the scientist had nursed her back to life, only to have benefited greatly from their relationship.

Delphine made herself at home on top of her wife, and Cosima kissed the doctor’s forehead. The scientist experienced a wave of emotions as she held her, taking in her sweet scent and stroking her back. She was proud of her wife, just as smitten as she was the first day they met, happy they were finally together, and secure in their relationship after all they had endured together.

Cosima knew they were one of the lucky ones: How many foolish loves like theirs have ended up working out in the end? And she'd marry her all over again if she could.

They had vowed to take on the world together, and the scientist’s problems felt small in comparison to what she had. So what if they were buried in a mountain of endless assignments? She had everything her heart desired, right there beside her, and acquired a sense of completeness.

 

***

 

“If it isn’t everyone’s favorite clone. Warm, friendly, kind-hearted 324B21.”

Cosima lifts her face up from a metal bed, struck by the sudden contrast in circumstances. Through the bars of her cell, she recognizes the outline of Dr. Virginia Coady, the last prominent Neolutionist still on the run.


	15. 324B21

_For the type of research I’m conducting, for research this pioneering, you simply can't test on rats and chimps._

 

Today was the day. Their absolute last chance. How many times had their last shot been exhausted? And yet the Leda sisters would live to fight another day. Everything had led up to this moment.

Cosima shoved her clothes into a duffel bag and looked into the mirror, adjusting the sides of her coat. A nerdy, bespectacled scientist stared back, one that had lost significant weight, one that was lucky to be alive. Was her hair already starting to gray?

The Neolutionists had prepared a helicopter to transport her to Camp Revival. With Susan Duncan’s help, they might finally create a cure to the Leda disease ravaging her body.

Cosima picked up a photograph from the table beside her. Scott had gifted it to her a few days ago, a rare picture he snapped of her and Delphine. In it, the former lab partners were reviewing their data in the lab, oblivious of the photograph and how much it would mean to the scientist later on. The doctor leaned over the reports, suspended in time, determined to save her friend’s life.

You were supposed to get over people, and Cosima understood this took time. But how could she possibly move on or overcome the sense that she had forever lost a part of herself? At best, she would learn how to live with the guilt and the angst, hoping to piece together as much normalcy as she could muster.

“We’re almost there, Delphine. We almost found the cure.”

They had toiled countless hours together in that lab, and she couldn’t have gotten this far without the doctor, her loyal puppy.

“I wouldn't have survived this long without you, even if you’re only a memory now. I love you buddy, always.” The scientist tucked the photo inside her coat pocket, picked up the duffel bag, and made her way up the stairs.

What did Cosima demand from her friend? A lot. What did the doctor ever expect in return? Very little. And now there was nothing left for her: no PhD, no girlfriend, no rebound.

Cosima was broken. Delphine was all that she had that was good, and the Neolutionists, the very people she now had to work with, took that away from her.

There was only one thing left to do, before her time was up. She just needed to stay alive long enough to cure her sisters, and she would finish the job in her beloved’s memory. Then it would all be over. Soon.

 

***

 

“This is the old Dyad institute?” Behind the prison bars, Cosima faces her captor. “I’m an emancipated human being! You have no right to me.”

“Dr. Niehaus, you appear to want it both ways,” Dr. Virginia Coady scoffs. “Your existence and your freedom. It doesn’t work that way, my dear. A dog cannot expect to be its owner’s master.

“The Leda sisters are mankind’s greatest contribution to science since HeLa cells! You’re a living goldmine of scientific experimentation. It was a shame the project shuttered before we could prove your true potential.”

“Contribution to science? You discovered nothing! We were failures in your eyes.”

“The only issues surfaced as a result of enabling you too much freedom. Ethan and Susan Duncan wanted to simulate the conditions of an ordinary human being. What we hadn’t realized at the time was the lab-controlled Ledas served as excellent test subjects, given the proper conditions.

“The ones we allowed into the open not only became self-aware and rebelled; they exhibited almost none of the markers we were looking for. But now, we are simply returning you all to your intended environment…”

Cosima’s meeting with Coady is short-lived, as her captor lets out a terrifying scream and air escapes the throat one final time.  An assailant with a shock of blonde curls leaps onto her victim like a feral animal, stabbing her repeatedly with a long knife. Blood seeps through the bars and into the scientist’s cell.

“I think she’s dead, Helena. You can stop.”

Helena dislodges herself from her victim, and Sarah steps forward. “Surprised to see us? We never leave one of our own behind.” Sarah casually picks up Coady’s key card, scanning it to free her sister.

“How did you get past security?” Cosima gasps, her heart beating wildly. She looks down to her right ring finger, noticing the clone ring was still there. “Is Charlotte all right?”

“Sestra Charlotte is safe.” Helena replies. “Art is closing in on Dr. Sanek.”

“Cal is here too,” Sarah adds. “Having one of their own murdered in cold blood spurred CSIS to finally act, and of course we had to tag along to bail you out. The security was dreadful; every door up to this prison was unlocked.”

None of the information matters to the scientist. “Where is Delphine?”

“All we know is she’s still here, at the Dyad,” Sarah replies. “Did they do anything to you? Drug you? Implant you with the chip again?”

Cosima touches the back of her head. “I don’t believe so. They may have injected me with a sedative, as I feel pretty out of it.”

As the scientist steps over Coady’s body on her way out, she sees rows of Leda sisters locked up. “How many of us are here?” Together, they release each one, over a dozen in total.

“Why is so much crazy shit happening to me? I swear to God I won’t be launching any more investigations. I just want to go home!”

“Then let’s go, Krystal.” Sarah pleads with her sister without much success.

Cosima peers through a cell. “Stephanie? Why are you just lying there?”

“What’s the point?” her sister asks. “There’s nothing for me to go back to. At least in here I could have been something.”

“If this is anything like Camp Revival, they’re going to burn the whole place down to destroy the evidence. You need to leave right now. There is still life outside these walls. Trust me on this.” Cosima holds out her hand, and her sister reluctantly takes it.

“Where’s Camilla?” Cosima asks after inspecting each cell twice. Even Krystal agrees to leave, crying hysterically as Sarah reluctantly carries her sister on her back.

“She’s not with us anymore,” Gillian West, a blind clone from El Paso, replies. “She was one of the first taken to the lab.”

The scientist stands motionless, numb, tears forming in her eyes. “No. No, are you sure? Did any of you see her body?”

“She’s gone, okay?!” Stephanie shouts. “I thought you wanted to get out of here.”

“Hey,” Sarah calls out to Cosima. “I'd hate to cut this Leda family reunion short but we really need to get going.” The scientist slowly nods, and they leave together.

“Fire escape ahead,” Sarah notes as they make their way through the labyrinth.

“Lead the sisters out,” Cosima says. “I need to find Delphine.”

“Cos, I think Art and Cal got it covered.”

“I’m going to find her or I’m going to die trying, you hear me? That’s how it’s going to be.”

Sarah knows better than to waste time arguing and places her gun in Helena’s hand. “At least take Helena with you. Good luck sis.”

Cosima hugs her sister goodbye, and the fire alarm goes off as the sisters file out of the building. The scientist turns to Helena. “There were rumors of a laboratory bunker in the old wing back when I worked here. It would be the safest place for Sanek to hide. Now if I have correctly, we need to go…that way.”

They are crossing the bridge to the old wing when bullets whiz over their heads. Marta, the assassin clone, appears before them in all her glory: bloodshot eyes and long, greasy hair reaching down to her waist.

_No, they were so close! And now…_

“We have fair fight. Sestra to sestra,” Helena says, pulling out Sarah’s pistol. She glances over to the scientist. _Go._

Cosima wants to stay, wants to help, but unarmed and untrained, she would have been little more than a hindrance. She runs for it, and miraculously, Marta lets her pass.

Delphine had to be alive; she had survived so many times. Just one last time, don’t let the luck run out…The only reasons why Sanek would keep her alive are to make her suffer in front of Cosima or to force her to recreate Ambrosia, and the scientist finds herself hoping for the latter. But with Neolutionist empire crumbling, option two was drifting away.

Cosima runs in circles for the next twenty minutes, sustained by little more than the rush of adrenaline, searching for a nonexistent staircase that could lead her to the bunker. Across the hallway, a Leda clone blocks her path. It’s Rachel, and she turns around before walking away. “This way.”

“Rachel? What are you doing? We know you’re working for them.”

“You want to find Dr. Cormier, do you not?”

“Why are you even here? Because I don’t believe for a second you’re selfless enough to be a mole. You brought Helena and Sarah in to do your dirty work, didn’t you? Eliminate the people at the top and take over the Neolutionist empire.”

“You don’t believe?” Rachel shoots back. “What kind of empire is left for me to claim? Who was the one who sent Dr. Cormier the texts? Who did you think it was? You two stumbled into a quandary and have only exacerbated it, in a race to destroy yourselves in the pursuit of saving the other. And here I am picking up the pieces.”

“Why are you doing this? To atone for your attempts on her life? She emancipated you!”

“Dr. Sanek promised fertility,” Rachel confesses, ashamed to have fallen for a sham. “Claimed to understand the Leda genome through and through, and I was desperate enough to believe him. But all he gave me was this chip in my brain. Now come with me. We don’t have much time.”

Cosima reluctantly follows her sister down a series of tunnels to the laboratory bunker. With her intellect and cunning, Rachel would have made an excellent addition to the Clone Club. But her ego stood in the way of that possibility, and she asserted herself as the greatest of the Leda sisters.

As they enter the lab together, Rachel feels the back of her head throbbing. She gasps, blood spurting from the back of her neck. She collapses to the floor, and her limbs splay out in different directions. It is a grotesque sight.

Cosima promptly removes her scarf and takes out her carabiner keychain. She ties a tourniquet around the wound, acting more in desperation than in sound science. Rachel whimpers, still alive, blood flowing in all directions.

In the distance, the scientist spots a short, portly man tied to a chair, a black bag covering his head. Leaving Rachel prostrate on the floor, she runs over and removes the bag. “Sam? They have you too?”

The professor bounces in his chair as the scientist removes the rope tied around his mouth. “Oh, God.” He struggles for air. “Oh God oh God. They’re going to kill me. I can’t…I got a young one at home waiting…”

“Take a deep breath. In. Out.” Cosima calmly unties the rope binding Sam’s hands. “No one's going to die today. We'll get you out.”

“Whatever you do, don't go into the next room. I've seen what happened to the others. Ex-girlfriends, colleagues, relatives…They were tortured by that chip before it detonated.”

“The Metis chip?”

Sam breaks into tears, overtaken by fear, and his pants are wet. “They inserted something in the back of my head too.” Cosima takes a look, and sure enough, there is a clear scar. “Gahhh!!!” he cries out. The scientist looks forward at the man stepping from the shadows.

“Ms. Niehaus. Late to the party, as always,” Sanek sneers. He appears pleased with himself, not looking at all like a man who was about to lose everything.

“Leave Professor Rankin out of this. What did you do to them, to Rachel?”

“I intended to put you up for testing first, but this works just as well.” Sanek carries a laptop, and with a few strokes he releases Sam from his misery. “That was merely a light prick. Don't worry, I won't be wasting a chip on you. For what I'm planning, death is not on the books. As for Rachel, her fate shall serve as a cautionary tale of what happens to those who fail to obey simple orders. But no matter…I’ve been meaning to meet my snitch in person for some time now.”

“You’re the one who cost yourself a job! It requires a certain amount of chutzpah to complain about all the problems _you_ created. It's not enough for you to attack my reputation, my body...you also need to tear down my wife’s career, destroy our marriage. You’re done, and you’d might as well stop digging and let us go. It’s only a matter of time before CSIS discovers this lab.”

Sanek smirks. “Dr. Cormier, will you come here please?” The doctor steps forward into the light, a panicked look in her eyes when she sees her wife had arrived. Sanek takes his prisoner’s hand and kisses it.

“What a lovely wife you had,” he notes. “Not quite as gorgeous as mine, of course. You see, I was going to make something of myself for my wife and daughter, through the antibiotic alternative. I couldn’t have her…couldn’t let her push forward with the divorce…”

“Must be a most terrible feeling, to have your wife serve you divorce papers.”

“Ms. Niehaus, did I not warn you there would be hell to pay if you reported me? You should have considered the consequences of your actions. And now, every person who has ever crossed me is, unfortunately, no longer alive to attest to what happens.

“But you see, for the type of research I’m conducting, for research this pioneering, you simply can't test on rats and chimps. I just happen to believe we shouldn't be experimenting on innocent people. Thus, as Sam witnessed earlier, we had ourselves some unwilling participants.”

Sanek reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out a small canister, and tosses it to Cosima. “Catch!”

The scientist catches and opens the container, revealing a syringe loaded with a murky, silver fluid.

“Let’s be clear: you forced me into this!” Sanek exclaims. “I am a man of my word, and it’s only destiny for you to witness the loss of everyone and everything that you love. But I am not without mercy. So I am offering you a choice. In your hands is the only dosage of Ambrosia we were able to reconstruct, with assistance from Dr. Cormier’s memories. And in my infinite benevolence, I’ve decided not to use it on myself.”

“Why would you? When you’re going to be locked up for life?”

“I have one last thing I’m going to see through to the end, Ms. Niehaus,” Sanek scoffs. “Sam, Delphine…I’m willing to let them leave this lab with their brains intact. In return, you will inject yourself with the Ambrosia, right away. I’m setting a sixty second timer until their chips self-destruct…starting now.” He types a few keys.

“Cosima, don’t take the deal! He’s not…” Delphine yells, and Sanek activates her chip.

“Stop! I’ll do it!” the scientist raises her arms in surrender. “I’m doing it right now. Just stop, please!” She takes out the syringe, and Sanek terminates the shock.

Despite her years in the medical field, Cosima had always been squeamish around needles. She takes a deep breath and thrusts the needle into her left arm. In an instant, the serum burns through her veins, and she clenches her teeth with enough force to bite her tongue off. Her body writhes in pain as she forces herself to stay still.

“Cosima!”

 _Almost there_ …the scientist forces every last drop of Ambrosia into her system before raising the syringe, revealing it emptied of its contents. “It’s done.”

Cosima’s entire body is overwhelmed with nausea, her legs buckle, and her heart beats so rapidly she should have already died from a heart attack. She backs up against the wall with a thud, nearly blacking out. “Your deal…you’re a man of your word.”

“Get out! All of you!” Sanek shouts. “Leave before I change my mind!”

Delphine rushes to her wife’s side, her eyes wide in concern. Cosima gazes back, a look of steely resolve in her eyes, before leaning her head against her wife’s shoulder. “I love you, Delphine. Always remember how much I love you.”

“I know, _mon amour_.” Delphine holds her wife in her arms.

“Ms. Niehaus stays!”

The doctor shakes her head, unable to let go. Their life as they knew it is drifting further away, and she refuses to acknowledge this could be their last time together.

“Grant us one minute, then do with me what you will!” the scientist shouts, before dropping her voice to a whisper. “I need you to do one last thing for me. Get Sam out of here.”

“You don’t need to stay,” Delphine pleads. “Leave with us.”

“I understand more fully now, why you did all the things you did, for all the years we’ve known and loved each other. I can handle him. I’m immortal now, right?”

“You know he’s going to torture you for weeks, months, an eternity if he can. He can use the Moirae to do it.”

“We’ll both suffer a painful end if I don’t stay here with him, alone. If you truly love me, please just leave now!”

Delphine rests her forehead against her wife’s. “ _Je suis tellement désolé._ _Je t’aime pour toujours_.”

“I forgive you. I have no regrets over my decision. I love you so, so much.”

One final hug and kiss, and Cosima returns to her position leaning against the wall, forcing one last smile through grimaces of pain. Liquid fire burns through her veins and her ears ring incessantly, but she is determined to keep fighting.

Delphine meets a traumatized Sam at the doorway. Rachel flails out an arm, touching Sam’s shoe, and they help move her out as well. The Ambrosia Imperium must have been propping her back to life.

The doctor looks back one last time, admiring her wife's strength and consistent acts of grace, before turning away so the scientist's sacrifice would not be in vain.

“That was a bit too easy, wasn’t it?” Sanek beams at his captive, who stares at Delphine as she disappears behind the doorway.

“What are you going to do?" Cosima asks. "Bury me in the ground for all eternity?”

“No, that’s what you’re going to wish happened when I’m finished with you.” Sanek pushes out his Moirae Dreamscape. Just as Scott had described, it is a work of beauty, with a sleek black chrome finish and flashing red lights.

“Scott hardwired his Moirae to operate only with clear consent,” the scientist notes. “How are you going to get me to pass that checkpoint when I’m drugged in this state?”

“Oh, you’re going to do it. Three chances, they give you. After all, I promised they could leave this lab in one piece but…anything that happens after is fair game, and these controls are good for a two mile radius.”

“Just so you can kill them off after I give my consent. Forget it. You never intended to keep your end of the bargain.”

“As soon as you consent, you will be joining me in the Moirae. Their deaths mean nothing to me if you don’t get to witness it. Look, I’ll drop my laptop into that tank of water right there if you consent, I promise!” He drags the scientist to the Moirae, seats her on a chair, and places the headset on her head.

Cosima finds herself in a dark room, much like the one she ventured in years ago, navigating through Delphine’s unconsciousness. A large, white screen appears before her, listing out the terms.

At the bottom of the screen is the question: _Do you accept these terms and permit Dr. Russell O. Sanek to be your guardian in the Moirae Dreamscape?_ There were no other options for the scientist in this moment. At the very least, she could take a risk in the hopes that Delphine and Sam could be saved. She kneels down and places her thumb against the white oval next to the question. _I consent._

The screen flares up in red. _Response not valid._ “Try again!” Sanek yells.

Cosima takes a deep breath. The safety of her wife depended on it. _I consent._

The screen flashes green. _Response recorded._ “Good girl. I’ll disable the chip, as promised,” Sanek says, and Cosima sees a webcam image of him typing into his laptop before tossing it into a tank.

What he neglected to mention was that instead of disabling the chips, he transmitted an order for Marta to kill Delphine and Sam. While Cosima may not be present to witness their deaths, the professor still wasn’t ready to call a truce, and he was technically keeping his part of the bargain.

The scientist’s consciousness is transported to a cramped, circular laboratory inside the Moirae, lined with various monitors and keyboards. Sanek appears as a hologram, but he seems to be solid as he grabs her by the collar. “Just wait until you see what I’ve developed for you in this room. Welcome to hell!”

A door on the right opens, and he drags his victim to the edge, dangling her over a pitch-black room, its malevolent darkness lingering all around her. Cosima would have nothing, absolutely nothing, but Delphine’s last kiss to sustain her.

“You’re going to be in here for a long, long time,” Sanek declares. “I have solar panels on the roof powering the Moirae, and you have the Ambrosia keeping you alive. Once I barricade this lab, it will be impossible for anyone to make it down here to save you unless they take the whole building down with them!”

He glares into Cosima’s frightened eyes, ensuring he’s the last image chiseled in her mind before hurling her into the abyss.


	16. The Dreamscape Pt. 1

_Bury your dead, Cosima. Bury your dead._

Cosima opens her eyes, finding herself lying on the sands of a beach. A setting sun warms her face, and it paints the skies in hues of majestic purple and pink and orange. She sits up, feeling the chill of the night air whipping against her defenseless skin.

The scientist notices a crowd gathering in the distant bay. The onlookers are all roughly the same height, jockeying for a better view. She squints her eyes and wades into the water, drawn to the crowd.

Something was telling her, guiding her to the circle of bystanders, insisting that she run. She is desperate now, flailing against the waves, struggling for dear life, almost tripping over herself and getting swept away by the current.

“Excuse me…please, I need to get through.”

The spectators are all women: Leda sisters. Cosima recognizes them from the Cure the Ledas tour, knows their names, most of them, anyways. Finally, she breaks through the motionless crowd, to the clearing they left in the center. And in the middle, she sees her, floating lifelessly face down in the water.

The blonde curls. The slender frame, saturated in salt water. The very outcome, the very last thing the scientist ever wanted to witness, the very nightmare she could not possibly endure. Around her, the sisters stare and mutter amongst themselves, nobody lifting a finger to help.

With all the composure she could humanly muster, Cosima slowly bends down and carefully flips Delphine’s body upward. Scars mar the doctor’s otherwise serene face, and two bullet wounds pierce her body: one in her left temple and another through her right abdomen.

The scientist gently closes her wife’s eyelids. She holds Delphine’s head against her chest, stroking the clammy skin, pulling herself back from retching. Her solemn tears mourn every drop of the French doctor’s precious blood.

Cosima stares blankly at the skyline but doesn’t process a thing. She is completely defeated, her will entirely drained, and there is little left in her stubborn self to continue fighting. Nothing could have possibly described her misery in that moment. This would be the moment her soul left her.

She sits in silence, a motionless blur of agony, fear, and anguish as the water level rises above her waist. The next minute, a hail of bullets rain around her like clockwork. The Leda sisters scatter as the scientist stays in place, not caring anymore for what becomes of her. Even if she didn’t believe in an afterlife, she is now prepared to join her wife. It wasn’t fair for Delphine to face this fate alone.

The Leda sisters are fleeing the volley of bullets, falling, dying. The ocean waves recede, and the skies surrender to darkness as nightfall approaches, with only a full moon illuminating the scene. A new battlefield emerges, a no man’s land of dirt and canyons.

As the sisters perish one-by-one, their loved ones arrive to carry them to a mass grave. Art holds Detective Beth Childs in his arms, weeping as he lowers her into a burial hole shaped specifically for his beloved.

Through the fog, Cosima realizes there are dozens of these holes, each shaped in a specific action, and in the middle are Sarah and Helena’s. Sarah’s hole is an imprint of her running towards Helena’s hole, which envisions the latter sister leaping through the air with a knife in her hand. Krystal has already been lowered into her hole, with one of her hands holding a phone and the other one holding up a finger, as if to begin her next point.

The burial site is filling up quickly, until only a few holes remain. Helena runs up behind Rachel and slits the corporate clone’s throat. Sarah shouts for Kira to run as she makes a beeline for the forest before she is gunned down herself. Siobhan arrives to carry her daughter to her early grave, taking a short moment to wipe her tears with a handkerchief.

“Bury your dead,” Siobhan says, and it takes a while for the scientist to realize she is the intended recipient of the message. “Bury your dead, Cosima, while you still live.” So matter-of-fact, so practical, so cognizant of the futility of sentimentality in this moment. _C'est la vie_.

Cosima looks down at Delphine’s body and recognizes what she must do. With all her strength, she carries the doctor’s body away from the melee, away from Marta as she finishes off the remaining sisters. At the very least, with the last of what she had, she must give her wife a decent burial. Art trudges over, hands her a shovel, and leaves without saying a word, too devastated by his loss.

The scientist surveys a space between two trees, an area the moon itself seemed to sanctify with its frosted glow. She digs her wife a grave as her own body heaves in grief and pain, jeopardizing the completion of this final endeavor. But she must keep going. She would finish that grave it if it killed her.

When the hole is deep enough to reach her waist, Cosima gently lowers Delphine inside. She held the body in her arms one last time, apologizing for her failure, promising to always love her and honor her memory. One last glance, one last kiss on the forehead, and she fills the hole back up with dirt and evens out the top layer.

Cosima ambles back towards the mass Leda gravesite. Her parents grieve before the hole created for their daughter. “She was such a good girl,” her mother says. “Always stood up to the bullies, insisted her intellect be used for the public good.”

_I’m still here._

“She’s nothing to look up to at all,” Sam lectures her parents, before turning to the scientist. “What did you do to us, Dr. Niehaus?”

Cosima comes face-to-face with Sam and protests. “You see all of this too? It’s really happening?” She points to a trench harboring a row of deceased Leda sisters. “The ones over there, they don’t appear to have struggled before they died. What is the discharge coming from their eyes and mouth?”

“You killed them,” Scott says, approaching her from behind. “Everyone in the trial, including those sisters, perished. Your alternative displayed promise at first but a year later, your patients are all gone.”

“It’s too late; tens of millions have already ingested your pills!” Sam exclaims with a level of anger she had never seen. “And if they aren’t dead yet, they soon will be. Why didn’t you double-check your research?!”

“What do you mean? We haven’t even begun the trials yet!”

“Why is _she_ still alive?”

Cosima looks out in the distance and spots Alison standing on a hill facing Donnie and their children.

Alison repeats the question. “How come Cosima doesn’t have to die like the rest of us?”

Donnie ignores her, saying simply, “I’m so sorry, sweetie, that it had to come to this. But it’s better I finish it fast then to have Marta pull the trigger so…” He points the gun at his wife and closes his eyes.

“Donnie, what are you doing?! Open your eyes for Christ’s sake! I mean, for Pete’s sake! But not the Apostle Peter…”

With a loud crack, Alison topples to the ground, and Marta claims yet another victim. The children scream at the death of their mother.

“She’s right,” Scott says to Cosima. “Why do you get to live when you and your crazy science are the very cause of so many fatalities?”

“Scott? You’re my lab partner. You’re my one ally left in…”

“Shut up. I don’t live solely to serve you. You’re the reason why the Leda sisters are dying, why the antibiotic alternative failed. Why Delphine is dead.”

Siobhan approaches Scott and places a pistol in his hand. “We will all die soon. Let’s make it quick for Cosima.” She turns to the scientist and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Life is but a journey, with a beginning, middle, and end. We live, we love, we grieve. And when the time comes, we can only hope to have lived our lives right, on our terms.”

“Will you at least tend to Delphine’s grave when I’m gone?” Cosima cries. “Will you at least bury me?”

“Stand over your grave, Cosima,” Scott commands.

The scientist does as she’s told, placing her feet down in the hole with an imprint of herself in a lab coat. “I’m ready. Do it.”

Scott shakes, and his aim becomes unsteady. Finally, he lowers the gun. “I…can’t. You’re still my friend.”

“Just end it!” Cosima shouts. “Please. Please end it. We all tried so hard to stop it from happening, but this was ultimate destiny of the Leda sisters. I just wish it hadn’t involved all of you. I wish our loved ones didn’t have to suffer and die along with us.” At this point, she is too numbed by the pain to release any more tears.

“It’s not about you!” Scott shoots back. “Is your death…what Delphine would have wanted?”

“No, this is what I want."

"This isn't you. The Cosima I know would have stood up for her sisters. She would have fought."

"There is nothing left for me to fight for! And I can’t have a murder on your conscience. Give it to me.” Cosima moves forward, and Scott surrenders the gun. “Go home. There’s no need to watch this.”

“I’ll end it, if the first shot doesn’t kill you.”

The scientist returns to the hole. There was no point in dragging this out much longer. She places the pistol in her mouth, making sure the muzzle pointed directly at her brain for the kill shot, and fires.

 

Cosima recoils in a sharp jolt, her heartbeat shoved straight up her throat. She finds herself in a dark room, tied down to a hospital bed, a Moirae headset strapped to her head. Sanek’s hologram sits beside her, absorbing every second of the show.

The scientist gasps for air, reorienting herself to the new reality. “We’re still inside the Moirae…”

“Correct.” Sanek rubs his hands together. “We’ve still got a way to go. Your greatest fears…they’re interesting. And far too short. But rest assured, you’re going to be in here for a long, long time. If you thought that was fun, I’ve prepared a room custom-designed for you. Shall we check it out?”

Sanek turns on the lights and Cosima lifts her head, shocked to the core by what she sees. Before her, an evil-looking coal furnace promises to incinerate anyone unfortunate enough to be in it. A bed of spinning saws threatens to shred its victims into unrecognizable pieces. Putrid, noxious fumes waft from a septic tank. Chains, whips, blades, bullets, acids, and toxins abound.

“Impressed by my little chamber of horrors?” Sanek asks. “Shall we begin by gorging on chlorine? Perhaps find out what it’s like to be sawed in half? Or play hide and seek in the compactor? It’s all the pain, with none of the death.”

“If you hated me so much…” Cosima mutters, still unnerved by her previous nightmare, but stops herself from pleading with him to kill her. She will not give him the satisfaction of begging for mercy, only to suffer the same fate in the end.

“I wouldn’t sacrifice my precious Ambrosia without reason,” Sanek smirks, understanding his captive’s silent request. “Too bad there isn’t a next time for you to apply the lessons you’ve learned.

“Shall we spin a wheel to decide where to take you next? No, no I penned an itinerary for you today and tomorrow and every day. I will take you down methodically, piece by piece, part by part. We’re going to take this slow, real slow. So sit back and relax, because you’re the star of the show!”


	17. The Dreamscape Pt. 2

_She was always enough. She made everything good again._

 

Cosima struggles to fight back as Sanek rips off her chains and discards the headset. Her heart pounds so rapidly it threatens to burst, her chest weighed down by desperate gasps for air. The sight of the torture chamber alone is enough to knock her unconscious, but the Ambrosia forces her awake.

“Your wife was one of the few who truly recognized the Moirae’s potential,” Sanek smirks, pinning the scientist down on the bed. “And now we have her to thank for your magnificent new abode.”

“The only individual I hold responsible is you,” Cosima replies. “You are a sick and deranged man who could never understand love and sacrifice.”

At best, Delphine will never learn of what became of her wife. The poor doctor had already endured so much physically and psychologically, and to add this to her conscience…she would never forgive herself. Would she ever move on and remarry? Who else would be willing to understand her, to care for her; who will support her through life’s trials and tribulations?

The thought of her wife depressed and malnourished eats at Cosima. Delphine didn’t have many friends to turn to outside of the Clone Club. The scientist knows Sarah would do what she could to help. However, her sister couldn’t be expected to provide the doctor with the same level of love and attention.

What would become of her sisters, Charlotte, Scott, her parents…how would they hold up? Would they blame themselves for her fate? The possibility they could be grieving around an empty urn, devastated by her mysterious disappearance…

“We’ll see how blameless she is in your eyes after this.” Sanek drags his captive across the room, and as the designated guardian of the Moirae, there is absolutely nothing the scientist can do to fight back. He shoves her into a metal cage and with the press of a button, sends her flying up a hundred feet in the air.

Sanek prepares the scenario he had run a hundred times in his mind, and his attention turns to a vat of boiling water. “We’ll be starting you off with a nice bath.”

In an instant, Cosima hurtles helplessly through the air. Her entire body is paralyzed with fear, her destiny left to the whims of fate. And the next second…

The scientist finds herself inside the circular laboratory, sitting in the same chair Sanek presided over just a moment earlier as he controlled his hologram. She glances at the computer screen before her, finds her captor being scalded alive, and closes her eyes.

A minute later, she hears a voice. “Cosima! Can you hear me?”

“Sc…Scott?”

“Thank God. Did he hurt you?”

“Y…yeah. He did, Scott. Where are you?”

“I’m still at work, and you can’t actually see me. Hang in there; we’re coming for you.”

“How did…this happen?”

“You mean, how did you survive? Hell Wizard implanted a virus into the Dreamscape when it connected to the Internet recently, likely because Sanek wanted to create a new world.

“When the user’s heart rate exceeds a certain level, enough to deem him or her an unwilling participant of that world, the guardian and user switch places. The swap also enables me to enter the system and see what’s going on inside. We laid out a trap, and Sanek walked right into it.”

Cosima recalls Scott and Hell Wizard discussing this tactic in Siobhan’s house. If the virus hadn’t succeeded, it would not have ended well for the scientist.

“There does seem to be a glitch, however, and Hell Wizard’s threshold increased,” Scott says. “Your heart was running 250 beats per minute when you switched…how are you feeling right now?”

“I’ll be fine. Where is Delphine? Is she all right?”

“I wish I knew. I’m going to start making my way to the Dyad to ensure you’re disconnected properly, and I’ll have you out of there as soon as I can. While you’re waiting…maybe there’s a game of Solitaire or Minesweeper on the computer in front of you.”

Cosima brings her right hand to the mouse and clicks out of the video, which shows Sanek passed out inside the vat. “What Sanek did was pure evil, but…even he doesn’t deserve this. The torture room…”

“There’s nothing I can do right now,” Scott replies. “He may be trapped in the world he created, but he still holds his guardian privileges, although considering the pain he must be in right now that’s debatable.”

“Is footage of Delphine’s knowledge of the Ambrosia on a cloud? Or inside this Moirae…we have to wipe it.”

“It should be in there. Look in the library.”

Cosima searches the terms “Delphine” and “Ambrosia,” and sure enough, two files appear. One contains her wife’s complete memory. The scientist moves the file to the recycling bin and empties the bin.

But there was one other file, this one listed as “Cormier – Nightmare.” Cosima hovers the cursor around the icon.

“Do you really want to see it?” Scott asks. “After everything he’s put you through?”

“I need to know what’s been traumatizing her. She still won’t tell me everything.”

“You can do that, but…just because you can view her trauma doesn’t mean that you should. There must be a reason why she didn’t disclose this information.”

“I know, but if this can help me better understand her…” She clicks on the file.

The lab falls dark, with a light from above illuminating Cosima by the computer and another light illuminating Delphine as she steps into PT Westmoreland’s basement.

“Cosima…be careful down there,” Scott says. “Sanek may have actually put Delphine through her worst fears, ran her as a test and then recorded the incident in a file, that bastard.

“This is an AI recording, much like our visits through Delphine’s memories several years back. If you go up to her or any of the people in her lives, they’ll react much like they did in reality.

“I’m in my car and heading over now. Don’t get carried away by this recording, and keep in mind that no matter how vivid everything may seem, none of it is happening in real time.”

Cosima nods and watches from afar as Delphine removes a beating heart from a dog she injected with Ambrosia. The air is putrid, the atmosphere unbearable. The scientist witnesses the doctor’s next experiment, a live head transplant that fails. Scott was right; she didn’t have to watch all of this. She now had a better grasp of the basis of her wife’s PTSD, the reasons for the late night tears.

Westmoreland’s basement only takes up the first half of the recording. Cosima fast forwards and finds her setting transformed into a French nightclub. Heavy American techno music blare in the background as the clientele drink, play snooker, and make out. She stands up and moves through the club, towards the young, vivacious blonde dancing freely in the middle of the crowd.

A tall man reaches Delphine first, nibbling her ear in between whispers as she moves her fingers flirtatiously down his chest. In an instant, they take off, and Cosima follows them into the men’s room, ignoring the dirty looks. The pair step into a stall, too focused on each other to even lock the door.

Standing outside the stall, Cosima listens to the doctor giggling before moaning and banging against the enclosure, noises so outlandish the scientist never heard her wife make them in bed before. _Wait, these are her fears and insecurities?_

Cosima turns away; there was no need to be present for this. This couldn’t have happened in real life, right?

The scientist had never inquired about her wife’s past dating history, never felt the need to ask if she was truly bisexual. They loved each other, and they were right for one another – for the most part anyways – and that’s all that mattered to her.

Cosima leaves the bathroom with a bitter taste in her mouth, troubled by the knowledge that there was, at least in this recording, another man in the picture. She spots her doppelganger sitting in the corner, making out with Shay. _Of course._ Benoit, her wife’s ex, sits at the counter, drinking away his sorrows.

Sarah sits in the far corner booth, getting wasted on Quartz pills and coke. Across from her sit Delphine’s mother, Evonne, arguing with a man who bore a striking resemblance to the doctor.

It dawns on the scientist: everyone in the club had hurt Delphine in some way, but with the addition of Sarah, the guest list included people her wife had hurt as well. If that was the case, where did her doppelganger go?

A younger man, short in stature, sits in a booth nearby and brags about his hot new girlfriend. Cosima walks towards him, deciphering his French.

“Delphine…she’s fun to fuck but a disaster in the kitchen.”

“ _Mademoiselle Cormier?_ I know her! Weepy _…_ we called her,” another man gloats, making a mock crying motion with his right fist, and his friends howl with laughter.

Delphine finally leaves the bathroom, groaning as her new fling shoves his tongue down her throat. The shorter man walks up to the pair, blocking their path, and the doctor shoots him an annoyed expression. He slaps her across the face.

“A thousand pardons, I wasn’t aware…” The taller man leaves, his moment of pleasure complete.

Delphine glares at her boyfriend, unbowed. “You’re nothing more than a hypocrite! How many women did you bed with last weekend?” She shoves him and screams.

This woman was completely unrecognizable to Cosima. There was no way the scientist would have fallen for her, let alone marry her.

Benoit rushes towards them and punches the boyfriend in the face. He then turns to Delphine, asking if she’s all right.

“I didn’t require your assistance!” the doctor shouts. “You are no better. You gave me up for that shrew of a wife!”

“Let me take you home.”

“I’m not drunk.” Delphine pushes away his hand. “What did she have that I lacked?”

“Nothing. You are perfect!”

“Words! Just words! That’s all you ever were. You swore you wouldn't want for anything else as long as you had me.”

“You know I had to think of my children.”

“Did you think of them when you pursued me?” She storms out of the club, finally betraying a look of sadness, of defeat, of acceptance that she would never be valued for who she was. It was completely inexcusable to Cosima to see her wife in such suffering, even if she doesn't recognize this woman. Benoit brushes off his suit and returns to the bar, his eyes brimming with tears.

Cosima sighs and decides to take a seat next to Benoit. “I can tell you really loved her,” she tells him in French. “Must be painful seeing her in so much hurt. Was she always like this?”

“Who are you? An American, judging by your accent.”

“I’m her…I’m her wife. In the future, when you are no longer in the picture.”

Benoit chokes on his drink, unsure of how to react at the revelation. He resorts to a mixture of amusement, disbelief, and then…sorrow. “What have I done?” He covers his face with a hand. “I brought this upon her. She was so beautiful, and this is what she has regressed to, turning to a woman for comfort?”

“I’m a whole lot more faithful than you are, I’ll tell you that. Why didn’t you end up choosing her?” Cosima asks. Benoit had won her wife’s heart, and he could have been with her for the rest of their lives. Yet he abused that privilege, hurt the most beautiful human being the scientist knew.

“I know, I know…why wasn't it enough?” Benoit mutters as he gives in to the tears. “I don’t understand it myself because, she was always enough. She was perfect for me. She made everything good again. I didn’t need anyone else in this world, yet I threw it all away.

“Our relationship was not what I had envisioned for myself. I thought I could do better, that there could always be better but…no one has ever come close. I was becoming unhappy because I knew I should be happy, when I should have just focused on loving her. I failed to be the man she deserved, time and time again.”

Cosima feels a tinge of sympathy, even if he had hurt Delphine. In an alternate universe, she would be the one weeping the same regrets to the doctor’s future husband.

“Want to know the truth?” the scientist asks. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but I feel it sometimes too. Our relationship was not what I envisioned either, far from it. I wish I gave her my 100 percent, like she gives me, but there are moments when I'm not feeling it. And I’m sure she experiences those moments too, perhaps even more so now, with the PTSD.

“We are not each others’ everything. And I’ve learned to be okay with that, because what we did have was far greater than anything I could ever wish for in this life. Nothing was ever owed to me, but all I ever needed…was her. In the end, all that matters to me is that we are happy and that we take care of each other.”

Benoit slowly nods, processing the words. “I know she’ll never forgive me for what I did. I’m not even going to ask her for it. All I can ask is that you not make the same mistakes I did. Please take care of her because she deserves all the love in the world, and she no longer allows me to give it. Please.”

“I will. Don’t worry.”

Benoit wipes the tears from his face. “Thank you. You seem to be someone who’s patient. Take the time to understand her. Not everyone gets it, gets her.” He spots a woman who looks identical to Cosima leave the club. “Is that woman…your twin?”

“Who?” Cosima sees her identical and takes it as her cue to leave. She heads outside and finds the doppelganger arguing with Delphine, who now looks closer to her current age.

“As our relationship began with a lie, so it will end, as a lie,” the doppelganger lectures, and she coughs uncontrollably before turning away in rage. Delphine yells at her to stop, offering to help.

The clone walks a few more steps before exploding, her head shredded to pieces, presumably the result of a detonated Metis chip.

Cosima jolts back, hitting the wall behind her. Her wife fares worse: Delphine begins to scream, a bloodcurdling wail that left every hair on the scientist’s skin standing on end. The doctor’s lungs burn as air escapes them, and Benoit runs out of the club, holding onto her as she grieves uncontrollably. Her life’s mission protecting her wife had unraveled in a fraction of a second.

Delphine turns around and begins pounding on Benoit’s chest, and he takes it, tears in his eyes. “Please stay with me. I'll take care of you. I love you.” But she is having none of it and breaks away from his grip, rushing through traffic and up an overpass.

“Delphine!” Cosima takes off, not caring for the cars weaving past them and honking. “I’m here!”

The doctor looks over the bridge and climbs the fence, strings one leg over the barrier, and stands on four inches of concrete. She allows her body to fall back to certain death, but an invisible barrier pushes her back.

There were limits to her worst nightmare, and if this wouldn’t end her misery…She reaches for her pocket and pulls out a knife, sliding the blade across her left arm. A sticky liquid, black as tar, gushes from her skin, but the substance isn’t blood. It’s… _pain?_

The doctor brings the knife over her chest and makes another horizontal cut. As liquid agony pours from the opening, she places the knife over her throat.

“Stop!” the scientist shouts, finally standing just a few yards away from her wife. “None of this is real! I’m still alive, and I’m going to stay alive for as long as I can for you.”

Delphine turns away from the blade, wanting to believe her wife is still living but finding it difficult to believe. “I just saw her die! Which sister are you?”

“Cosima. Cosima Niehaus. I know this feels real but all of it is AI. And I’d hate to break it to you, but you’re AI too. But I still hope you don’t hurt yourself.”

“If none of this is real, what does it matter to you?”

“I need you here, because right now I could really use something to hold on to. More than at any point in my entire life. I need you, Delphine. Please.” Slowly, the scientist walks up and the doctor releases her left hand, moving it through the bars to meet her wife’s hand…“I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

“Watch out!” Delphine shouts as her wife is taken away at the last second, and their world fades to black. Cosima struggles for breath and consciousness; an invisible force was suffocating her from behind.

The scientist returns to the circular lab, and this time she is not alone. A man presses his right arm against her throat, directing her gaze to the laboratory door, which is consumed in black smoke.

“You see that?” Sanek sneers. “Every Moirae has one. There’s the door to enter, where you leave your consciousness behind and step inside. And of course, they needed to build a door for the user to exit and return to their body.

“There’s no future left for people like you and me. But you will last for as long as Ambrosia runs through your veins and the Dyad stands, powered by solar, no less!” Cosima breaks free and gasps for breath.

“You thought I would allow myself to be trapped in the world I created?” Sanek towers over his victim. “I’m still the guardian of this place! It’s over! Your wife is dead, so you actually don’t have anything to hold on to. I had Marta finish her off.”

“No!” Cosima bawls on the floor, and Sanek stomps on her back with his boot. “No, this can’t be the end.” She forces herself up, grabs a fire extinguisher and tries to put out the flames.

“Not going to work!” They struggle for the fire extinguisher, and the scientist throws the cylinder at Sanek before running into the adjacent lab. She locks and barricades the door, jamming a metal chair under the handle. With all her strength, she pushes a lab table against the door as Sanek pounds wildly against it. “Open it, damn you!”

Finally, Sanek relents with a haunting laugh. “You honestly think you’re safe now? We’re both as good as dead, but you will still suffer in the worst possible way. At least pain offers some excitement! But you took the easy way out. Goodbye, Ms. Niehaus.” He shuts down the power, and Cosima finds herself completely blanketed in darkness.

Was this really it, that her end would consist of the absence of light, of sound, of love and warmth? No. No no no no. No no no no no no no no no no.

Cosima desperately places one hand over the door handle and feels it dissolve, along with the table and chairs. Even the floor below her gives way, no longer supported due to Sanek’s shutdown.

The scientist feels her body lifting upward, as though she was drifting in space. She cannot breathe, yet she is still being propped to life. The temperature of the room drops precipitously. She was cold, so very cold. Would anyone, anything put an end to her misery?

Perhaps she could close her eyes, surrender to her weariness and fall asleep. But no, had she forgotten, with the Ambrosia she can only wait for a sleep that would never come.

 _Delphine?_ Cosima thinks about her poor wife, her soulmate, her best friend, her lab partner, her puppy. The scientist would have sacrificed anything and everything just to hold her one last time. As Sanek’s laughter fades, a profound sense of sadness envelopes her until all that remained is silence and darkness.


	18. The Other Side

_Choices can doom and curse us, but they are also the greatest gifts a human being can ever wield._

 

Cosima was dying, and this time her number was up: this would be her final night on this earth, that she was certain. She was exhausted, freezing, and hungry, but at the very least, she could keep Charlotte warm. “Don’t fall asleep,” she had cautioned, hugging her sister from behind as they rest against a tree.

It had been months since Delphine disappeared, shot in the Dyad parking lot. And now the scientist was trapped on a Neolutionist island, the unbearable night wind howling and assaulting her from all sides.

How long would it take for anyone to rescue them? Would her parents even find a body to bury? What if she died and failed to deliver the cure to the Leda sisters? Their struggle would have been in vain.

Her final moments wouldn’t be so bad. _C’est le vie_ , as Delphine used to tell her. We live and we die; it was all part of the natural life cycle. She wouldn’t even be the first of the sisters to die. There was Beth and Katja and Jennifer; all perished much too young from circumstances outside of their control. They never had a choice in the matter, either.

If only Delphine was here. What Cosima would have given to see her, one more time, just to hold her hand or touch her cheek. Even if the doctor came as a vision, the scientist would be content. She would apologize for her selfishness, assure her beloved that their feelings are and always had been mutual.

Delphine had been protecting her all this time, but what had Cosima ever done to defend her beloved? And now she was gone, assassinated in the line of duty. Sacrificed herself for a life that was rapidly slipping away.

“Stay awake, Charlotte,” the scientist muttered weakly, her speech slurring and pulse weakening. “Hang in there.”

She doesn’t remember much of what happened next. The elderly man who flashed a light in their faces and marched them off to an unfamiliar encampment.

From her yurt, Delphine overheard the messages on the radio, the discovery of Charlotte and a bespectacled Leda clone. _What was she doing here?_ The doctor rushed out and made a beeline to Cosima, cupped her face, and gazed into her eyes.

It had to be her, this was the Leda sister, _her Leda sister_. There were no words to exchange, so many questions that needed to be answered yet none that needed to be asked, not at this moment.

Delphine gently laid Cosima down on the bed inside her yurt. As she checked her patient’s vital signs, the scientist longed to reach out and touch her beloved, confirm she was real, but her body refused to comply.

When everyone in the yurt had left, the doctor hastily removed her shirt and pants. “I’m right here. I’m going to keep you warm.” She made her way to the bed, pulling the covers over them.

Cosima could not comprehend the situation; it was too surreal: was this really her beloved or another near-death vision? The one thing, the only thing her heart needed was to see Delphine again and lie down next to her. To reunite with the one who had always loved her unconditionally. Even if this was all a hallucination, she’d gladly accept it.

“I think I’m dying,” Cosima finally said.

Delphine looked back in surprise, refusing to accept the words. This was not how their reunion would play out. “No you’re not. I won’t let you.” She stroked the scientist’s face and pulled them into a kiss.

Cosima tried to lean her head forward to return the kiss, struggling to press her lips forward as she shivered uncontrollably, and in an instant the electricity returned. This had to be her beloved. Wounded or not, Delphine’s capacity for love and tenderness was still there. The scientist rested her head against the doctor’s chest, reassured by the consistent hum of the heartbeat.

An hour or so had passed when Cosima was awakened by loud pounding on the door. Delphine climbed out of bed, got dressed, and calmly opened the door. The scientist could barely make out the conversation, her mind a haze.

_You won’t be allowed to stay with her._

_I know, but she’s my patient_.

Cosima was too weak to defend herself, but in this moment of uncertainty, the doctor served as her protector. Delphine ushered her guest out of the yurt and returned to the bedside, inquiring if Cosima had found her cure. The scientist nodded, and the doctor flashed a smile before cautioning her: _You must not tell anyone._

“Understood. Will you come back now? I’m freezing,” Cosima said, shaking her body for emphasis.

Delphine laughed and returned to the bed. “I see you’ve maintained that cheeky sense of humor.”

“I think you owe me. Do you realize how many times I replayed Cher’s _Believe_ because of you?”

“I confess the breakup is my fault. But the music choice is on you.” They laughed.

“There’s a young girl on this island…” the scientist muttered. “She’s my sister. The last Leda clone. She’s exhibiting symptoms of the disease, and we must cure her as well.”

“Charlotte, I’ve heard of her. She lives in the manor on the hill.”

“Please…”

“I will see to it she receives the treatment, I promise.”

“Delphine,” Cosima moved her face into the doctor’s curls, whispering in her ear. “I’m still in love with you. I love you with all that I am capable of…”

“No, we are not doing this,” Delphine responded nonchalantly. “I’ve thought of you often, every day that I’ve been at this camp, every day since we first met. I wondered what it would be like once we finally meet again, and this is not how I imagined it.”

“Oh yeah? How did you think it’d end?”

“I envisioned myself in Stockholm, sneaking myself into a Nobel Prize ceremony in your honor. I would offer you my congratulations, present you with a gift of wine…”

“And that would be it?” Cosima summoned the strength to lift her head up and look into the doctor’s eyes. “Then we’d be on our separate ways again.”

“Yes, that would be the best I could hope for. Honestly, I feared what you would think of me. That I’m some jealous and evil ex – why would you want me back? Shay…she’s gorgeous, with those long eyelashes, and…”

“You’re not evil.” Cosima smiled, resting back on the pillow. “I mean, jealous, yes.”

“It came across?”

“Kind of hard to hide, yeah.” From under the sheets, the scientist reached over to hold the doctor’s hand. “I’m glad you seem to be the same as I remember you. Did they do anything to you? Or hurt…”

“No, no. Not now. Rest, please rest.” Delphine held Cosima in her arms, pressing her beloved’s face against her neck.

For much of their relationship, there was constant hesitation on Cosima’s part, that Delphine would betray her and her sisters again. But as the scientist felt her life drifting away, none of this mattered anymore. If she was to die tonight, she wanted nothing more than to be in her monitor's arms, immersed in love and warmth.

Delphine was here, and they were finally side-by-side. Even if Cosima hung within an inch of her life, the doctor would see to it that her beloved be nursed back to health. Tonight, they were together and safe. And yet, as captives in the epicenter of Neolution, they were not safe at all.

 

***

 

Cosima hovers in an expanse of pure darkness, trapped inside the Moirae with a demolished exit. Her surroundings are frigid and empty, devoid of life and hope. This must be how people on life support felt. Somewhere in this realm, Sanek was experiencing the same fate, but to him the revenge was worth it.

There was no point in struggling anymore, no point in tearing herself apart, reflecting on every what-could-have-been, every wrong she committed in her three dozen years on earth. The best she could do now was to calm her overactive heart, accept her fate, and be at peace with the woman she had become.

The Ambrosia was slowly but surely fading away; her heartbeat slows and her thoughts drift away. How long had it been now? Months, a year? Surely, her torment would not last an eternity, as the hastily-concocted Ambrosia must have its defects, yet with every passing hour her mind returns to the possibility.

Cosima feels a hand lightly placed on her chest and another resting on her stomach. There was someone behind her, holding her in a warm embrace, a chin resting gently on her right shoulder. Without words, the presence emanates a sense of love and compassion.

They drift for a few minutes in this state, anchored by a sense of peace, before the scientist feels their bodies touching down on a flat surface. The figure lays her down on the ground, strokes her face, and kisses her cold lips.

 _Delphine_. It was difficult to accept this possibility, but there was no one else who could make her feel this way. Surely this was not a hallucination, yet all the nightmares Cosima endured had felt real as well. Perhaps she was dying once more? Her passing would come as a welcome respite from the misery.

“Don't do this,” the scientist mutters to the darkness. “Not now. You're not here. We are surrounded by evil. I…” Finally, she breaks into tears, giving in to the pain. “I don’t know what to do, Delphine. I’ve never been as strong as you are.”

“ _Pourquoi es-tu si effrayée, mon amour?”_ Delphine whispers in between kisses to her wife’s face. “I am here and always will be. We will find a way out together.”

As Delphine cradles her wife and hums a French tune, Cosima experiences a strong gale passing over her body, hears the faint chirping of magpies, and opens her eyes. She is lying alone in a field of barley, its golden stalks swaying in the wind. The skies are overcast, but a trickle of sunlight finds its way to her face.

The scientist sits up and turns around. _Delphine?_ She stands up, calling her wife’s name. An echo of her voice returns, followed by laughter. “Where are you?”

 _I’m here_ , the doctor seemed to be saying. _Come over, you must see this._

Cosima dashes across the field, which appear to be stretching on to infinity.

_Enchantée… Defy them…Je t’aime…Don’t be afraid, I will never leave you…I’m French. We enjoy lovers…Come here…I’m going to keep you warm._

As she runs, the scientist notices the stalks of barley inching higher, towering above her head. She passes a pool of water on her right and sees a reflection of her younger self looking back. To her left, she spots a younger Delphine, perhaps still in her elementary years, smiling and running beside her. _Would they have even been friends as children?_

Young Delphine gathers speed and disappears into the field. The scientist reaches a circular clearing, panting heavily as she faces the dark blue, wooden door opened ajar in the middle. She slowly places her hand on the doorknob and turns, revealing…

The stairwell down to a Metro station. Cosima finds her body has returned to her older self, and as she descends, a flurry of electronic messages and signs, written in French and English, besiege her. Businessmen, students, tourists…flooding in and out of subway trains. And a blonde woman with auburn highlights, running across the platform. _Delphine._

Cosima takes off after her, never once shifting her gaze. The doctor appears younger, harking back to her medical school days, and pushes her way into a subway train. A few seconds later, the scientist dashes inside the train right before the door closes. However, it’s not the inside of the train she sees but…

The University of Toronto. Cosima now stands on the top steps of the main library. She furrows her brow, scanning the campus. From the corner of her eye, she sees Delphine running away.

The scientist again gives chase and sees her wife stopping to talk to a couple eating ice cream as their bikes rest against a lamp pole. The doctor, who now appears as old as the day they first met, steals one of the bikes and takes off.

“Sorry, I’m just borrowing this for a minute.” Cosima picks up the remaining bike and pedals after her wife as the boyfriend chases after them. Delphine leaves her bike on the lawn outside the campus gymnasium and runs inside the building. The scientist follows soon afterward, opens the door, and walks into…

A church? Cosima steps inside, dazzled by the stained glass windows and cardinal red carpet. Where had Delphine led her to now?

The door closes behind the scientist, but she is too curious to turn back. Her outfit has transformed from the coat she wore to Krystal’s apartment to an elegant, black tuxedo.

Dr. Gene Niehaus stands at the altar in full priest regalia, and he smiles approvingly at his daughter. “We’ve been waiting for you. So like you to be late to your own wedding.”

“Dad? I thought you distrusted religion.”

“Surely I can humor my own daughter for a day. Your bride is waiting.”

“Who am I marrying today?” The scientist knows she is still trapped inside the Moirae, so she doesn’t have a clue as to who it could be. Shay the rebound? Emi, her ex from Berkeley?

“So cynical of the Dreamscape’s properties.” Gene shakes his head. “It can be used for good, you know. Turn around Einstein, who else could it be?”

Cosima’s mother, Sally Niehaus, opens the front door and ushers the bride inside. Delphine appears shy and anxious as she steps into the chapel, a long, silk veil of red and gold trailing behind her.

Whatever tricks the Moirae was playing now, this scenario was a million times better than being confined in darkness. Cosima’s heart melts, just as it had a few short years ago, at the sight of her beloved walking down the aisle. Finally, they both stand before the priest.

“Let’s get on with the formalities so we can cut straight to the cake, pun wholly intended,” Gene says. “Do you, Dr. Delphine Cormier…”

“Wait,” Cosima interrupts. “This is a remarkable venue, no doubt about it, but we’ve done this before, twice in fact. I just need to exchange a few words with my wife.” Delphine looks on in surprise. “Don’t worry, I still pick you.”

“Guess I’m not needed then,” Gene replies, closing his bible. “Let’s go, Sally.”

The scientist holds the doctor’s hands and takes a deep breath. “I saw your deepest fears, the ones Sanek forced you to relive, and witnessed the cycle of rejection. I can’t say I completely understand it, but I can see how people become attracted to you yet grow into complacency and overlook, exploit, and abuse you.

“You’ve become so jaded you no longer derive worth from what people think, as a survival mechanism. It’s the reason why you didn’t care what I thought when you acted to protect me. It’s what has instigated so much friction between us.”

Cosima rests her forehead against her wife’s. “In the end, you simply found it easier not to set expectations in a relationship. You have never asked me for anything, yet I demanded everything from you. Even though I can be the worst person at showing it and I still have much to learn, I will always love and support you completely.”

Delphine pulls back and sighs. “You don’t need to make excuses for me. I understood fully the consequences of my actions. I bear the ultimate responsibility for them.

“I’ve been in relationships for most of my adult life, but in reality I was alone for a long time. In order to move forward, I forged a strong sense of right and wrong, a confidence in myself no matter what others thought of me. For the most part, it has guided me well, but I can also see how my methods come in conflict with your values.

“It was difficult, at first, building a relationship with you when you held back. When I took over Rachel's duties at the Dyad, all those years ago, why did you assume I would turn out like her? When I told you to stay, to follow my lead, why did you hesitate? Why couldn’t you believe I would always put you first, always look after your sisters…”

“I know,” Cosima cries. “I didn’t want to be the idiot who got played, but I still ended up as the fool. To be honest, part of the reason why I acted so cruelly towards you was because I hated myself. I hated how terrible I was in making seemingly simple decisions, so I took it out on you, made you the manifestation of my poor judgment. I pushed you away to prove to myself that I was perfectly sensible and rational. But all I did was hurt you.”

Delphine places her hands on her wife’s face. “Cosima, I have never had anyone who loved me as much as I loved them. And I learned quickly that I could dwell on this and turn myself off to society, or I can become the person I wish others were for me.

“I didn't think, didn't know if you could still love me after what I did, the first time, the second, the third. But you've shown me the transcendent love you described, every day. In our relationship, I was the only one who betrayed, yet you still came back and took me in. You gave me a home, a family.

“All my life, I’ve been the worst at selecting partners, but I knew I had my eye on a good one when I met you. You are someone who gets upset when your wife sacrifices herself for you, yet completely supportive when she’s weak and needs you.”

Cosima nods and closes her eyes. “For the longest time, I didn’t have a choice. I was just intellectual property, a clone. Nothing, not even my DNA, belonged to me. My sisters and I had no freedom to our names when you arrived in my life.

“Choices can doom and curse us, but they are also the greatest gifts a human being can ever wield. And with the one choice I can make in this world, I’m always going to choose you and stick by you. This will not change. I love you with all that I have.”

The front doors of the chapel open on their own. Delphine removes her veil and takes Cosima by the hand. Together, they step out into the valley and take in the view: the rolling hills, the distant peaks, the rainbow over the town below…

They pass through the light rain, hand in hand, and Delphine leads them all the way to a cliff. A bright red, wooden door is perched at the edge and white light glistens from the edges.

“What are you doing?” Cosima asks as her wife reaches for the doorknob.

“I am escorting you to the other side.”

The scientist takes a step back. “There’s nothing but a steep fall on the other side. We’ll be plunging to our early graves, and I’m still on Ambrosia so I’ll feel everything….”

“Can you be understanding for one minute?” Delphine replies, annoyed. “Have I ever acted outside of your interests?”

Cosima hesitates, shaking her head. “I don’t even know who you are or if you’re still alive. If you’re just an AI version of my wife, or a vision.”

“I don’t care if you never trust me again, but I need you to believe me, one last time.” Delphine opens the door, revealing…the mountains in the distance. It was just a door, with nothing to show for it on the other side.

The doctor takes the scientist’s hand, but her subject doesn’t budge, her mind flooded with thoughts of imminent danger.

“This is me, but I can’t prove it until we reach the other side,” Delphine says. “Will you please trust me?”

“What if…I can’t do this?”

“You can and you will.” Delphine reaches over to hold her wife’s left hand and flashes a supportive smile. “I will be with you all the way.”

Slowly, Cosima relaxes. This could well be the stupidest thing she has ever done. Together, they walk through the door. The scientist looks down at the canyon below them, a thousand feet plunge to hell. _Holy crap!_

“We’re not there yet. Keep walking.”

“How…we…” The scientist’s heart pounds fiercely in her throat, and she can no longer feel her legs. They really were walking on air.

“Don’t be afraid. I’m right here, _ma chèrie._ ” The doctor grips her wife’s hand tightly.

As they walk, the mountains before them fade away. Darkness envelopes them once more, emanating the same sense of helplessness the scientist had experienced only moments before. Their hands become separated, and a glass wall stands between them.

Cosima reflexively pounds her fists against the cold glass pane in a panic as the floor below her begins to disintegrate.

“Keep walking, Cosima,” Delphine responds calmly from the other side, her voice muffled by the glass. “I’m right beside you.”

“I don’t see a floor below us, and I can’t…”

“Keep touching the wall. My hand will stay on the other side.”

All around them, Cosima notices bright screens displaying their past. Delphine leaving her fake report card in the lab for the scientist to find. The doctor disclosing Sarah’s name and handing her subject’s blood samples over to Leekie despite a clear promise not to.

“Focus on the destination. Follow me, and we will reach the end together.”

Cosima screaming at Delphine to get out, from her bedroom in Minnesota, from their lab at the Dyad, from their home in Toronto.

“We’re almost there. _On pouvons le faire._ ”

Arriving at the homes of Leda sisters, only to realize they were too late to cure them.

“You see that light? That’s the door…”

“I still feel glass…”

Sanek forcing Delphine to relive her greatest fears, then forcing Cosima to relive hers.

“Look at me.”

They turn to each other, their hands still placed against the translucent wall. The glass barrier begins to fade, until nothing stands in between them anymore. Cosima falls forward, and Delphine catches her.

“ _Tu l'as fait_.” With one final push, the doctor guides her wife into the light at the end and through the exit.

They are floating now in a limitless expanse of white, their hands wrapped tightly together. Rows of screens circle around them, displaying memories of the life they shared, only these ones are positive: their reunion at Camp Revival, the proposal, the sisters they successfully saved…

The scientist looks over at the doctor, her emotions fluctuating between fear and awe. Her wife appears as an angel, blanketed in light, her blonde locks glimmering in a halo.

Delphine spreads her arms and holds them together in an embrace, basking in a radiant glow. They had never felt more at peace than in this moment.

“Open your eyes,” the doctor whispers. “We will meet again soon.”

 

Cosima blinks her eyelids open, her mind in a daze. She finds herself lying on a hospital bed and connected to an IV drip. She turns her head to the right, to the faint figure sitting a few feet away from her. A disheveled, blonde-haired woman, adorned in a white dress and strapped to a Moirae, awakens and tilts her head forward.

It is the last image the scientist sees before shutting her eyes once more.


	19. End of an Era

_Let us enjoy what limited time we have left in this world together._

 

When Cosima reopens her eyes, she finds a mop of blonde curls sprawled over her hospital bedside. They had been unhooked from the Moirae and their headsets removed.

“Hey buddy.” The scientist blinks, realizing Delphine was gripping her right hand. She forces her left hand forward, stroking her wife’s blonde locks.

The doctor awakens and leans over, running a hand over the side of her wife’s face. She opens her mouth to speak but no words come out. Instead, she lets out a weary laugh before quivering in sorrow and relief.

Cosima breaks down as well, and soon tears are streaming down their cheeks as Delphine presses her cheek against her wife’s, crying and shaking.

“Are you all right?” the scientist asks weakly as her wife sits back down.

“Never felt happier, _chèrie_.” The doctor wipes away her tears. “I’m so, so sorry for putting you through this.”

“Delphine, look at me. One of my greatest regrets was not running after you and telling you how much I still loved you, the night you were first shot. I don’t ever want to live with that guilt again. You saved my life. So please, let’s not blame each other for what those bastards did. Let’s not live our lives consumed by their sins. Okay?” Cosima runs her fingers through her wife’s hair.

“ _Oui_ , _chèrie._ I see you’ve experienced my wild 20s inside the Moirae,” the doctor laughs. “It’s different now. You know I’m completely dedicated to you.”

“I know,” the scientist replies. “I don't believe your attraction to men diminishes the love you have for me. I'm just sorry you had to endure so many of life's hardships alone.” She raises her right hand and interlaces her fingers with her wife’s. “How did you know where to find me?”

“No one’s been trapped inside a Moirae before, which was very…nerve-wracking for us. Users have always been supervised, and we couldn’t locate the door to get you out. The situation became dire; you were completely incapacitated.”

“It must have been so difficult on you. Thank you for being level-headed enough to get me out of there.”

“It was almost impossible to think straight at first. The doctors explained the situation to us, and Sanek’s wife wanted him taken off the machine before they even finished talking. Turns out the last project he was looking into was cloning his wife.”

“That sick bastard. His poor wife must have been exhausted by his bullshit. So what happened afterward?”

Delphine recounts the events at the hospital.

 

The doctor was sitting in the lobby, sobbing into her hands after Scott’s latest attempt at hacking the Dreamscape fails.

Sarah took a seat next to her and placed a hand on her back. “Have you ever discussed with Cosima what to do in this situation?”

“We have. We gave each other permission to pull the plug.”

“If it comes down to that, then you know what you must do.”

“I can’t, Sarah. I…physically cannot carry this out.”

“I understand,” Sarah replied calmly. “You only know how to protect her. If you can’t make that decision, tell the hospital you’re deferring the responsibility to me, as her sister.”

“Sarah…” Delphine admired her sister-in-law’s strength and willingness to take the fall in order to spare her conscience.

“Regardless of what happens, I don’t want you to just pack up your bags and leave. You have a home with us.”

“That’s…kindhearted of you, to say this now, in this moment. But time will pass. I will only be a reminder of what you lost.”

“What’s wrong with that? If you could love the Leda sisters because of Cosima, why can’t we love you because of her? You aren’t any less a part of the Clone Club if she’s gone. My sisters are alive today because of you. You’re family here.”

“You know I cannot stay. Charlotte could live with me, but we cannot pretend things are still the same.”

“Then let me know if there is anything I can do for you. And thank you.”

“I have done nothing but accepted your generosity, Sarah. What is there to thank?’

“Thank you, for loving and protecting my sister. I know you meant everything to her. You two forged a selfless kind of love few people in this world are fortunate enough to experience. So for that, thank you.”

 

“Cosima, I wouldn’t have let you suffer an additional minute if I had to,” Delphine says in present time. “I would’ve honored your wishes if there wasn’t any hope.”

“I know you would,” Cosima replies. “I’m glad it never came to that. Sarah does genuinely care for you, more than you know. She just doesn’t get to see you in all your different facets, the goofier side…By the way, how was I able to fall asleep?”

“We were…able to flush much of the Ambrosia out of your system. I know how strongly you felt about this, and that’s what you would’ve wanted.”

“Thank you for that. If you hadn’t, I could have been preserved forever in that Moirae. How long have I been passed out?”

“It’s been over 24 hours from when Sanek trapped you inside the Moirae to when I arrived to guide you out. After that, you slept for…” Delphine checks her watch. “Almost ten hours.”

“So how did you end up saving me?”

“We weren't even sure if you were still conscious, but Kira sensed you were still there, still fighting,” the doctor replies. “Scott and Hell Wizard continued searching for way to recreate a door for you, but every attempt came back negative.

“In a last ditch effort, Scott took a risk by connecting another Moirae to the Dreamscape. It’s been done before, to power and transfer data from one device to the other. The hope was that if we could connect the two together, one of us could venture inside your Moirae and lead you out through the door in the second Moirae.”

“So you volunteered to do it,” Cosima says, and her wife nods. “How did you know you were going to make it out? If this has never been completed before…”

“I will always protect you. At the very least, I thought you could use someone to comfort you.”

The scientist could delve into how disappointed she was with such a risky decision, but now was not the time. “I wouldn’t have made it without your love, but I wish someday you will value your life as much as I value yours.” She sighs, squeezing her wife’s hand. “Where is everyone else?”

“Sarah led the missing sisters out safely,” the doctor replies. “It must have been quite a odd sight, having all the clones out on the streets of Toronto. I know Project Leda was to remain classified for another year, but footage of them must have raised a lot of questions. The whole world may find out about you very soon. Alison could finally have her reality television show…”

Cosima laughs. “I’m surprised so few people know about us even now. What about the rest?”

Delphine fills her wife in on the details. Two of the sisters, including Camilla, did not make it out. Helena, despite going years without a fight, managed to overpower Marta and snapped her adversary’s neck. Art was wounded by a shot to the arm, but he is in stable condition now.

Rachel received several operations to remove the Metis Chip shrapnel inside her head, and she had already fled the hospital. Cosima’s parents were on vacation in Belize, so it took time to track them down, but they’re on their way. Hashem Al-Khatib was arrested by Interpol at Heathrow Airport, but Brodie remains on the run.

Finally, Cosima asks Delphine how she was able to handle the pressure. Her wife had come a long way from naïve monitor to trusted soulmate.

“Were you always this loyal and brave or were you shaped by your past?” the scientist asks. “The way we ended, when I all but abandoned you…and you still came back for me.”

“If you read through my life story, you’d know this is not the type of person I am,” the doctor replies. “It may sound…cheesy…but when I got to know you, I saw the type of woman I wanted to be. My heart was filled with such a love for you that it was easy to give myself completely into our relationship, as well as get carried away.

“In truth, I relied on all of my strength and everything I’ve learned over the years to find you again. I knew that if I gave in to fear and anxiety, it would jeopardize your rescue. It wasn’t a simple transition back to my focused state – I think I’ve gotten too comfortable, being with you.”

“You’re lucky, that’s what.”

“Cosima! Thank goodness.” Scott appears at the doorway and descends into tears.

“Hey Scotty. Thanks for getting me out of there.”

“I hope you enjoyed the worlds I built into the second Moirae,” Scott says, striding over to his friend. “I recall you mentioning that your wedding felt too rushed, so I thought maybe the environment could make you feel better. And who doesn’t like weddings, right?”

“Your world was exponentially more beautiful than Sanek’s, that’s for sure.”

“Cos?” Sarah and Cal walk in, and behind them stand Kira and Charlotte.

“Here comes the cavalry.” Cosima puts on her glasses and tries to sit up. “I’ll whip up some sweets for everyone when we get back.”

“Right now, we just need you to rest, all right?” Sarah replies, fighting back tears at the sight of her sister alive and well. “We’re the least of your worries.”

“I just slept for ten hours. Come on in.” Cosima chats with her friends for the next hour until she begins to drift off again. Her guests file out to give the scientist room to rest, with Delphine remaining behind.

“Are these letters for me?” Cosima turns to the table next to them. “A card from the department faculty and flowers from Sam. Ali baked fudge brownies that we can split. And what’s this…a letter from Shay and Keisha Davydov-Porter?”

The scientist reaches over for the envelope, but the doctor picks it up and raises it over her wife’s head.

“Hey, that’s mine! Don’t tell me you’re still jealous.”

“ _Jamais_.” Delphine sets the letter back down on the table, and Cosima opens it.

“It’s just a kind, get well soon-type letter. And a gift card to the restaurant we missed last time, so we can enjoy a nice night out together. See, you have nothing to fear from her.”

Delphine grins and presses a kiss against her wife’s cheek. “ _Repose-toi, mon amour_.”

 

 

_Two months later…_

Cosima sits in the living room, having returned home earlier that morning from a weeklong bioprospecting trip to the Arctic. After the trauma he endured, Sam recommended giving his spot on the voyage to her, on the condition she obtained a clean bill of health.

The Clone Club had come over earlier that evening to throw her a birthday dinner. It felt good to have something to smile about, surrounded by family and friends. Afterward, they went out for drinks while the scientist cited her studies as an excuse to stay home. Summer classes begin in three months, and she’d been piecing a new syllabus together.

But right now, poring over her notes on the living room table, Cosima finds her mind wandering elsewhere, eagerly anticipating a certain loved one’s return at any minute. She had spent her last week drifting in the Atlantic, holding her compass every night and looking up at the stars, thinking of her wife.

Finally, Delphine opens the front door. “You’re awake,” she mutters in surprise, and Cosima springs up from the couch to wrap her wife in a hug. “ _Je m'excuse_ , I am so late. I still have much to transition at the Institute. Are you crying, _chèrie_?”

“I…just really missed you.” The scientist wipes away a tear before making her way to the kitchen to heat leftovers. “They are taking you back, right? You’ve looked after this company and sacrificed so much for them. I would hope they’d recognize you for that.”

“They were very gracious in offering me additional time off to heal before resuming my duties, even though my chip extraction surgery was completed over a month ago. But I have decided to abide by my resignation.”

“Oh.” Cosima is taken aback by the seemingly sudden decision. “I’m not opposed to you doing so, and I’m sure you have your reasons but…why?”

“I’m very grateful for their generosity, but it would not be right. I was complicit in the theft of their most valuable asset and betrayed their trust in the way I left. It is enough that they did not press charges.”

“But the mission of the Institute, everything you stood for and believed in, the forefront of scientific breakthroughs, and you’re going to miss all of it.”

“I will still have a partnership with them. Katie is the right person to lead at this time.”

“If this is what you want,” Cosima sighs, confused as to why her wife didn’t bring these concerns up to her beforehand. “We can talk about it more tomorrow.”

After setting the table, the scientist pulls out a chair and invites her wife to dinner before taking a seat herself.

“So after I submit my manuscript, Rachel sends me a terabyte of data with every noteworthy finding Dyad discovered in our DNA, as her perfect birthday gift. So now I need to rewrite the book on top of prepping for class.”

“What exactly did they find?” Delphine asks mid-bite.

“Did you know Dyad tried to manipulate a so-called ‘Helen of Troy’ gene? It’s said to release special pheromones that can make people fall madly in love with us, like we’re some prized commodity.”

“So that’s what it was,” the doctor replies. “All this time, I thought it was your humor, compassion, intellect, and charm, but in the end I was cruelly manipulated by your genetics.”

“Hey, I had no control over this. You think I’m charming?”

“Cosima, there is so much about you that I love. There’s more to it than genetic coding. I wasn’t wild about Sarah or the others, great as they are.”

“The gene is manipulated according to each sister’s tag. So certain people will be attracted to 324B21. And others, 903V18.”

“Then I consider myself lucky to have fallen for you.” Delphine smiles. “I am sorry for being so late on your birthday. I will make it up to you…”

“Don’t even worry about it.”

“Tonight.”

“Oh.” Cosima grins. “Well then, we better get ready before the gang comes back.”

 

After dinner, Delphine slides a chair against their bedroom wall, whips out a blindfold, and instructs her wife to take a seat.

“Seriously?” Cosima cocks an eyebrow. “Is this really necessary? It’s not like I haven’t seen…”

“Do you trust me, _mon amour_?”

Cosima nods and sits down, permitting Delphine to remove her glasses and wrap the blindfold around her eyes. The scientist soon finds her wrists bound together by fabric as well, constraining her to the back of the chair and pinning her hands against the wall. “Should I be nervous right now?”

“Relax. I’ll be providing the entertainment tonight, _chérie_ ,” Delphine whispers before retreating. Cosima sits back, anxious and confused. Had her wife been watching one too many French soaps while she was away?

The doctor resurfaces a minute later, unties the blindfold, and grasps her wife’s jaw in one hand. The scientist takes in the sight of her beloved in all her glory, donning only a lacy bra and underwear, a wellspring of unfulfilled desires.

In one swift motion, Delphine undoes her bra and flashes a flirtatious wink, leaning over and brushing her wife’s face against her chest. Cosima finds her mind running wild with longing, her body fully stimulated. She leans her lips forward, but the doctor moves away just in time.

 _My bad._ Delphine shoots her wife a seductive glance before lowering her body again. Again, Cosima attempts to give the doctor a peck, only to have her back away at the last second.

“Why are you doing this to me? It’s my birthday!”

“Your birthday passed a few minutes ago.” The doctor sits on the bed, looking up at the clock, and her voice becomes serious. “Do you recall all the times I wept as we made love? Tears streaming down my eyes, yet you kept on going. Pleasuring yourself with my body, not caring, not feeling as I sobbed in silence. Where was your mercy, your compassion then?”

“But I did care! I would check in and ask you how you felt! I made sure you were completely comfortable with everything. You were the one who said it’s perfectly normal for you to cry after sex and begged me to keep going.”

“Too late, Cosima. There is nothing you can say now that will spare you.”

“Just listen, please. I’m actually Sarah. Piss off mate; it’s Cos you want!” The scientist tries to stand up, but with the wall directly behind her it was impossible to lift the chair up.

“If you were, you wouldn’t be squinting right now.”

“Shit.” The scientist swings her legs. “Will you let me out now? I’m pretty sure this is a violation of the Geneva Conventions.”

“Are you throwing your wife a fit? You’re not so different from the men before you after all.”

“If this was how you chose to torture them, their reactions are completely understandable.”

“This concludes tonight’s entertainment.” Delphine relaxes on the bed, one arm propping her head up and the other covering her chest. She looks up earnestly at Cosima, flashing an innocent, puppy dog expression with a mischievous glimmer in her eye. Taunting her wife for a kiss.

Unbeknownst to the doctor, the scientist had figured out how to untie to knot around her wrists. A few seconds later, she frees herself and pounces on the bed, her lips caressing her wife’s smooth curves.

Delphine helps Cosima undress and wraps her arms around them. A deluge of emotions overwhelm the scientist: the love she felt for this woman, the searing impulse to obey her desires, the intense passion every time their bodies trembled at contact, the sense of safety and belonging in her wife’s embrace...

But now was not the time for contemplation. Cosima succumbs to her wife, giving in to short-term pleasure, and Delphine eagerly seizes the opening, as though everything they had faced together culminated in this moment.

 

As they lie in bed that night, Delphine holds Cosima in her arms, stroking her wife’s face and shoulders.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re more in love with me or my body,” the doctor says.

“Of course I’m in love with you,” the scientist replies. “Now come here.”

“Cheeky,” Delphine squeezes her wife’s cheek. “Ah _chèrie_ , when I look back, I want to remember us, like this.”

“We’ll always be like this,” Cosima replies, resting her head softly on her wife’s chest. “Even as we age together, the love we have for each other, the mischief, it’ll never fade.”

The doctor sighs and rubs her wife’s back. “I have been thinking, the past few weeks, actually for some time now. There was a therapist, back in Paris, who helped me through a rough patch.”

“I thought running away with the therapist was a movie trope, not real life.”

“No, no. It’s not like that. There are many ways people cope with their trauma, but for me I need some time away.”

“So now you want to move back and see him. That’s why you quit your job.”

Delphine nods. “Yes, that was also a reason. If we wish to experiment with the Dreamscape as a form of therapy, we’ll need actual studies, with expert supervision. The least I can do to assist my former employer is to give it a try. My mind would provide an excellent case study, considering how traumatized I’ve become.”

“You can’t do it here?”

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and my decision is not…on a whim. I need to be away from the Clone Club and anything that can take me back to those triggers. I know this may be difficult to understand.”

“If you feel moving back to France is the way to do it, and you really put in the thought…then I support you.” Cosima interlaces her wife’s fingers into her own. “Let’s go.”

“No, no you can’t. You are still preparing for your next class.”

“Delphine, you are and always will be my first priority. I’ll find something to do in France. My French isn’t that bad now. _N'êtes-tu pas d'accord_?”

“I want nothing more than for us to be together, but…I need to do this alone. Every scenario in my head leads to this conclusion. As a research participant, the study must be clean, without outside interference. If you were here, I would start to blend what I experience in the Moirae with what I see in reality.”

“How would I know if you are safe? Who would you stay with? Your mother who turned her back on you?”

“I have a stepsister in Calais. Not particularly close with her, but she agreed to let me stay at her apartment. She’s hardly home anyways, lives with her boyfriend…”

“Of course, it’s just like you to sign up for this study before we even discussed it.” Cosima drapes an arm over her eyes, hiding the warm tears that flood her eyes. “How long?”

“I don’t know. Maybe a year, at least. You should go forward with Charlotte’s adoption. Don’t wait for me.”

“Is this because now that Neolution has been defeated, you don’t have an outlet to proclaim your love through reckless heroics, and this makes you feel inadequate…”

“What?”

“We have a great life here. We’ve got the Clone Club and…I have no doubt you’ll find another career you love; you’re so smart and talented.”

“ _Cherié,_ how did you feel after exiting the Dreamscape?”

The scientist pauses, recalling the aftermath. “It was traumatizing while I was in there…when I woke up it felt like a terrible nightmare, but one I could recover from in time.”

“When Dr. Sanek forced me to relive the basement experiments, it was different for me. All that I could offer was exploited, and everything I had in me that was good was taken. I truly believed there was nothing worth living for, if not for you.”

“I don’t care what the Dreamscape told you; you are not disposable. I know for a fact that you are worth every sacrifice and all the love in the world, regardless of what I or anyone else may say in the moment. Your kindness, brilliance, perseverance…”

“Cosima, our lives are not the same as we left it! You keep trying, to pick up where we left off, as though nothing has happened, as though we haven’t been hurt, physically or psychologically, but we have. We can’t go back, to how things once were, but even then our relationship consisted of lies and betrayal.”

“I don't want to live with Sanek continuing to dictate our lives!” Cosima protests. “I refuse to allow him to take away the most precious thing I have: our relationship. Let us enjoy what limited time we have left in this world together.”

Delphine shakes her head. “You put on a happy demeanor in front of me, to assure me that you are content with the way things are, but you know in reality I am broken. You endure those moments when I retreat, when I can’t even get up in the morning because I’m overcome with crippling anxiety, when I wake you up following a nightmare and no amount of love you show me is capable of cheering me up.

“Did you not tell me to value my own life as well? If the study works, I might recover enough to return to you…”

“Please. Please, just listen to me,” the scientist sputters, shaking her head. “Because yes, I don’t want anything to happen to you. Yes, I don’t want you to believe that I will ever stop wanting you, and you will never be too broken for me.

“But it’s not just that. I’m selfish, all right? Now that I’ve known you, I can’t envision…I can’t go on with my life without you by my side. You will always be my other half. You’re not a burden. I…”

“Cosima…” The doctor moves her wife’s arm away and kisses the tears. “It pains me too, to be away from you after what you went through. But I am not leaving you. I never will. I just need this time. Please understand.”

“Will you at least call me, let me visit…”

“No, this is a battle I must confront alone. If you visit, I will only want to run back to you.”

Cosima wanted so much to fight, but instead she gives in to the tears. Delphine holds onto her wife, humming softly as the scientist cries herself to sleep.

 

Three months later, they stand outside the airport gate.

Delphine had made her decision to leave, and that was that. Cosima was so upset she struggles to pull herself out of bed to see her wife off. But who knows when they would ever meet again? If this was what her wife truly believed would help them in the long term, the scientist needed to trust and support her.

One last hug, one final kiss, and Cosima turns away, running out of the airport as Sarah trails closely behind.


	20. La Bonne Doctoresse

**– Part Three: Catharsis –**

Before Delphine left, the couple reached a compromise. Cosima can write, although her wife will not respond back. Almost every day, the scientist would pen a letter and drop it in the mail, not knowing if it will be read.

_Ma cherié, I trust summertime in France is treating you well. I dropped Sarah, Cal, Kira, and Charlotte off at the airport this morning. They’re heading to Los Angeles for beaches and sun. My class is going well, and it’s heartening to see Sam back in good spirits._

_Scott and Katie got married today! I’m so excited for our good friends. I love how much Scott spoils her, and she likewise. The wedding was a blast, with scavenger hunts and jokes courtesy of Papa Niehaus. Soon, they will start a family and he’s going to forget all about us. Science geeks: they grow up so fast._

_I’m so proud of Sarah. Yesterday, she was promoted to sergeant and I attended the ceremony with Cal and Kira. She told me she’s been Quartz-free for the past two months, and I believe her. Her relationship with Cal seems to grow closer by the day. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear wedding bells toll by next spring. Wild type Sarah, finally settling down?_

_Charlotte and I went out for ice cream today, and we talked about colleges and boys (is he truly the one if he refuses to follow her back on Instagram?). Afterward, we assembled a solar flashlight together #nerdlife. She loves the telescope you sent her for Christmas and we take it outside whenever there is a clear night sky. She looks different now: finally ditched the braided pigtails, just one long ponytail for now. Her foster family doesn’t seem bothered by the prospect of losing her, but it’s their loss._

_My apologies for not writing the past week: our department recently returned from a research trip to Malaysia. We traversed ancient caves and collected guano samples. The next catastrophic pandemic could have its origins right here, and we’re in a mad race to prevent it. It was raining on our last day and the team stayed indoors, but I ventured into the rainforest and just stood there, in awe of the life cycle. And wishing you were right beside me, admiring the rainbow at the end of it all._

_Whenever I stand beneath the vastness of our universe, I’m grounded by how small and infinitesimal we and our worries are, in the grand scheme of the cosmos. And I feel happy, genuine happiness. I have a dream job, an exhausting one, but nevertheless fulfilling as each day brings with it the possibility of the next great breakthrough. And I am part of the greatest sisterhood the world has never known._

_I don’t want to say anything that can bring you down or hold you back, and I know you have an exciting contribution to science to make. But I miss you so, so much. I wish you could join in our happiness, and I can hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you in my terrible French, even though words could never do justice in expressing how I feel about you. But most importantly, I hope you find the peace you are seeking. T'es l'amour de ma vie._

 

Then over a period of days, Delphine stops receiving letters altogether but is too preoccupied to pay much heed to it. One morning, she begins her usual shift at a small seaside clinic and greets her resident, Sandrine.

“We had an intruder last night,” Sandrine says in French as the doctor logs into her computer.

“Was anything stolen?”

“No, all seems accounted for. Office is cleaner, though.”

“Who’s our first patient today?”

After attending to the morning wave of patients, Delphine eats lunch at her desk while studying various test results.

“There’s a reporter outside requesting a word with you.”

“What? Sandrine, we never have press here…if it’s about Ambrosia.”

“ _Bonjour_. Am I coming at a bad time?” Cosima waves, stepping inside the clinic. “You said you needed a year, and today’s the day.”

Delphine freezes mid-bite, not quite believing what she sees. “ _Cherié_ , how did you find me? Don’t you have class?”

“It wrapped up two weeks ago. It’s good to see you again, stranger.”

The doctor couldn’t hold it in any longer. She approaches the scientist and weeps silently as she holds her wife’s head in her hands, resting their foreheads together. She envelopes her wife in a tight embrace, not caring who saw them.

“You look good, healthy.” Delphine smiles, wiping away her tears. “I…let me introduce you. Sandrine, this is my wife, Cosima.”

“ _Enchantée_.” They shake hands.

“Would you like me to help out?” the scientist asks. “I might know a thing or two about medicine.”

“Perhaps you can,” the doctor replies, running a hand through her stubborn curls. “Sorry, I must look like a mess.”

“You’re as beautiful as I remembered. You look ethereal in that lab coat.”

Delphine gives her wife a playful jab. Cosima helps out for two hours before requesting the apartment key and leaving early to visit the market.

 

When the doctor returns home that night, the scientist is almost done whipping up her wife’s favorites: creamy seafood pasta with _soupe au pistou_ and _salade parisienne_.

“I thought we could enjoy one of our romantic dinners together,” Cosima says, sliding hot cross buns into the oven for dessert. She lights two candles, connects her phone to the speakers for music, and fills two glasses with wine. A bouquet of iris and tulips adorn the table.

As Delphine digs in, relishing the sweet and savory dishes, tears form in her eyes. It had been so long since she had her wife’s cooking.

“Good, huh?” Cosima reaches over and holds onto Delphine’s left hand as she eats. The scientist had longed for her wife so much, for so long. Now they were reunited, at least for this moment.

“Every morsel is delicious,” the doctor says, wiping her bottom lip with a napkin. “I’m so sorry, for what I’ve done to you. You’ve lost weight.”

“No, no. You did what you needed to do. Don’t apologize.” The scientist laughs. “But you are a troublemaker, you know that? Who would’ve thought, years after you left me that fake report card we’d both be here, in Calais?” Her grin dissipates as her mind drifts off, to the absence of her beloved for the past year and uncertainty over if they’ll be together again.

“Hey.” Delphine leans forward, grips Cosima’s hands, and smiles warmly. “I feel terribly for the pain I’ve put you through. From the beginning, with the deception and the…”

“Please don’t. You’ve atoned for your debts and then some. How are you doing?”

“The Moirae is showing great promise. At first it exacerbated the trauma, but we fixed a few issues, and now it leaves me feeling at peace every time. It has helped me immensely in confronting my fears and insecurities, and I think you and the other Ledas could benefit from it as well. But as much as it has aided in my recovery, I know I can never be whole again. There will always be a part of me that is broken, that is still healing.”

“That’s completely understandable. I want to be there for you through it all.” The scientist raises her wife’s hand and kisses it.

They chat like old friends, recalling their past year apart. Cosima was still living with Sarah, and Felix and Adele had moved out. Charlotte had practically moved into Kira’s room, and with her 16th birthday in a few weeks, the court’s gag order on Project Leda would expire. The scientist’s book will be published soon afterward, and she is taking a sabbatical this fall to promote it.

Delphine saw a hiring ad for a seaside clinic and applied to work there part-time. The owner retired a few months ago, leaving her to manage it for him.

They leave out the more painful stories, how Delphine constantly kept herself busy and preoccupied, to shift her mind away from the pain. How Cosima would pretend her wife was beside her at night, a delusion ironically utilized to keep herself sane. The scientist would lie in fear of receiving a late night call that her wife had hurt herself, perhaps fatally.

“I have a treat for you,” Delphine says, walking towards the freezer.

“A fancy old bottle of _Bordeaux_?”

“Even better.” The doctor pulls out a package of Eskimo pie. “These aren’t so easy to find up here. It’s only for emergencies or heartwarming reunions.”

“Some things will never change.” The scientist grins and takes the first bite.

After dinner, Cosima pulls up the tango song _Pa' Bailar_ on her phone and turns up the speakers.

“ _Puis-je avoir cette danse?_ ” the scientist asks, breaking into a dance.

Delphine laughs, and together they glide across the living room. Cosima wraps her right arm around her wife’s back and pulls them in closer, a surge of electricity as their bodies make contact. The doctor raises her right hand to meet the scientist’s left and places her left hand on her wife’s neck, every touch sensuous and deliberate.

They interlace their fingers together and Cosima moves forward, alternating between quick and slow steps, and Delphine follows her lead. The doctor lifts her right hand up as her wife swivels beneath her arm. They conclude with the scientist falling backward with dramatic flourish as her wife catches her below the shoulder blades.

They dance across genres: ballroom, swing, and jazz, some more successfully than others. Cosima is grateful to see her wife playful again; it had been a while since Delphine last smiled so brightly.

After a shower, Cosima lies in bed and finds a wooden box on the nightstand. She opens it, revealing all her postcards and letters neatly stacked.

“You saved them?” The scientist asks, and her wife nods. She flips through the letters and discovers a stack of news articles at the end. The printouts feature her upcoming book and interviews on her research. “I see you’re still stalking me.”

“I’m proud of you,” Delphine says before heading to the bathroom for a shower.

Cosima takes her time rereading the letters, waiting for her wife to return. She really did sound increasingly desperate towards the final months.

“Were you nervous I might find someone else?” Delphine finally emerges, drying her hair with a towel.

Cosima lifts her head, her eyes filled with uncertainty. Of course, Delphine was a sexual being, with needs to be met. The scientist could forgo intercourse for a year, but her wife?

“You know how much I trust you,” Cosima says. “You wouldn’t break me like that.”

“ _Non mon amour_ , you have nothing to worry from me. It is kind of hard to forget you, with all the letters and care packages you send me.” The doctor picks up a tissue box with a plush puppy cover. “Whatever am I going to do with this?”

“I thought it was pretty cute. It’s got those furry cocker spaniel ears, reminded me of your curls…”

Delphine smiles and returns to the bathroom to finish drying her hair. When she reappears, her expression is puzzled.

“ _Cherié,_ why are you still dressed?”

It takes the scientist a few seconds to process the question. “Oh. Okay then.” She stands up to take off her pajamas as her wife grins, amused.

“Just to set the record straight,” Cosima says, removing her pants. “I didn’t fly halfway around the world because I wanted to get some.”

“No, no of course not.” Delphine winks and waves a hand dismissively. Oh, how the scientist had missed her wife’s sense of humor.

After they undress, Delphine ties her hair up, moves to the bed, and straddles her wife’s hips. The scientist closes her eyes and gasps, overwhelmed by a crazed longing that ravages her body.

It was fascinating, how a single touch, a hug, a kiss, could fulfill her, but when it came to their lovemaking, human desire could skyrocket to stratospheric heights. Cosima hardly recognizes the urge possessing her; it was no longer enough to simply hold one another.

Her wife obliges, pressing their bodies together as if willing their souls to unite. The sweet shock sends Cosima’s heart racing; the intensity was too much, too soon. The scientist runs her fingers up and down the doctor's smooth back. It was this slender frame that had shielded her from harm, taken bullets for her and the sisters.

Cosima struggles as she forces her way on top, and the yearning paralyzes her, turning her body weak, starved for Delphine’s love. The doctor helps her up, and the scientist finds herself embraced with warmth and love, rocking in sync as her wife whimpers softly beneath her, the tears flooding back in an instant.

It takes them a while to fall back to their natural rhythm. Delphine understood all of her wife’s quirks, knows just how to make Cosima squirm or moan with pleasure every time their bodies collide.

Yet Delphine also felt her wife’s pain and how much the scientist had missed her; the sense of loneliness lingered in the kisses. Despite her self-declared crusade to protect the Leda sisters, the doctor had failed in her duty to care for her own wife.

“I think this confirms it,” Cosima says, taking a moment to reorient herself and interrupting Delphine’s train of thought. “All this time, you were actively trying to finish me off and claim the life insurance.”

“You caught me. Should I stop?”

“No. If this is how I go out, it’s not so bad. I’ve lived a good life.”

Finally, Cosima gives in to exhaustion, wondering how her wife had so much energy after a day of seeing patients and dancing.

“We’re not as young as we used to be,” Delphine concedes, and her wife laughs.

They rest side-by-side, heaving contently. Cosima notices her wife shivering and appearing as drained as though she had just given birth. The scientist grabs the blanket, shielding the doctor’s modesty, and tucks the covers under her wife’s chin.

Cosima props her head up on one arm, beaming as she looks over her wife, the only woman she had ever truly loved, the only one who knew her.

“You’re too far away,” Delphine whispers.

The scientist moves under the covers, feels her wife reaching out a hand, and grips it. As she gazes into the doctor’s eyes, there is no need to say anything more. There was so much conveyed even in the silence. _I love you._

Cosima rests against her wife, wrapping their bodies together. In each other’s arms they belonged, not caring for anything else, wishing only that this moment would never end, that their love would never end.

 

The next morning, it’s Delphine’s turn to plan the date. She is in a good mood, singing as she gets dressed and opens the curtains.

The doctor takes her motorcycle out of the garage and hands her wife the extra helmet. They wind through the streets of the magnificent port city, and the scientist experiences the adrenaline high of the ride, fully immersed in her surroundings.

They pay a visit to Delphine’s favorite breakfast eatery and order _croque-madame_ sandwiches. Afterward, they stroll through the outdoor market, scale the Calais lighthouse, and unwind at the closest hot spring.

They cap off the day with a trek to an unoccupied stretch of the beach: Delphine’s secret place. The white sands crumble softly beneath their feet, the ocean waves sparkle in hues of crystal blue, and a light breeze graces their cheeks. Even the Dreamscape itself could not have generated a more picturesque environment.

As they walk, Cosima remains silent. The pressing, central question she carried in her heart remained unanswered.

“ _A quoi penses-tu, chérie?_ ”

“A lot of things,” the scientist sighs. “I know the trip here was important for you to get back on your feet, but you don’t need to pay penance for what you did for the rest of your life. We all need to take responsibility for our actions, but you were placed in an impossible situation. You did the best you could under the circumstances.”

“Cosima,” Delphine looks the scientist in the eye and pulls their hands together. “I know it’s only been a day since our reunion, but I have put in a lot thought as my anniversary here approached. And I want to return to Canada to be with you and our friends again. I am as ready as I'll ever be.”

“I…I’m so happy to hear that,” Cosima replies. “I’ll do whatever I can to support you, and…if you still need to use the Dreamscape, or if you don’t…wherever we end up in life, I just want us to be together again. You're my soulmate, Delphine.” She hadn’t meant to blurt it all out like that, but the sentiment had been burning in her chest.

The doctor nods, accepting her wife’s words. “I will need at least a few months, to transition my patients and find a suitable replacement. Will you wait for me?”

“You don’t even need to ask.” The scientist wraps her arms around them and feels her wife softening into her embrace. “Come. Have you ever built a sandcastle?”

Cosima offers a hand and her wife takes it before they head towards the ocean waves together.

 

At the end of the week, Delphine sends Cosima off at the airport. They sit by the gate, laughing and trying not to think about their inevitable farewell.

“ _Non chèrie_ , I believe I’m the one who loves you more.”

“I don’t think so. I love you more.”

“Look at how ridiculous we’re becoming,” Delphine notes, kissing her wife on the nose. “Can we settle that we are the ones who love each other the most?”

“Nope, sorry, because I’m the one,” Cosima replies. “Do you want to hear the final draft of my chapter about you? I can pull it up on my phone.”

It takes the scientist a minute to find it, and she begins to read: “ _The story of my monitor, Dr. Delphine Cormier, is, like most romances, one with its highs and lows. It’s the story of a woman who made me experience every facet of being in love, who betrayed my trust, and who ultimately won me over again._ Is that too negative?”

“I’d rather you be honest,” Delphine replies. “It’s true, that my actions pushed you away, yet you still returned to me.”

The scientist puts her phone away. “They’re calling my flight.”

“Don’t forget your compass.” The doctor drapes the chain over her wife’s neck.

“Did I drop it? Thank you, love.” They kiss, and Cosima heads to the back of the line.

“ _Je t'aime advantage_!”

The scientist turns around and shakes her head in mock disapproval. When she almost reaches the front, she rushes back to the doctor for one more hug and a peck on the cheek.

“Love you more,” Cosima whispers quickly and runs back to catch the flight, shooting a smug expression for inserting the last word. Delphine smiles back, deciding against mounting one last challenge.

Taking her seat on the plane, the scientist plugs in her earbuds and relaxes into her seat. She had finally visited her wife and secured a promise that they will be together again soon. She clutches her compass and opens it. A small piece of paper falls out.

Cosima leans forward, scans the message, and smiles.

_I love you more. Je gagne! – Ta chiot adorable_


	21. My Galaxy of Women

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, this is the concluding chapter of the series. When I first started, I wasn’t certain if I could string the plot together or if anyone would actually read or enjoy it. But the stories always ended up writing themselves and turned out much longer than I originally intended. Thank you for hanging in there for the ride, trusting me with your emotions, and sustaining me with your kind words.
> 
> Although it’s highly unlikely anyone involved in the creation of Orphan Black will ever read this, I’m grateful they created such fascinating characters, built such a complex world, and touched on such relevant themes.
> 
> To Tatiana Maslany, for her brilliant portrayal of Cosima, the most compassionate and multifaceted Leda sister, and for giving geek nerds hope that they too may someday find their French doctor. And to Evelyne Brochu, for her tenderhearted portrayal of Delphine, my favorite character perhaps ever (despite everything I put her through). Her passionate performances infused each scene with a range of emotions, delving into what it feels like to fall deeply in love with another human being.
> 
> Anyone who has ever finished a work can attest to how time-consuming the brainstorming, writing, and editing process can be. But overall, I’m glad I took the leap in completing this series. As I transition to original content, I hope to continue crafting stories in the same spirit.
> 
> -CJR

_One day we will all perish, but you will live on. You will be the one to carry on the story of the Leda sisters._

 

_Five months later…_

Delphine pulls her rental car up to the gate of the Chancellor’s residence and takes a deep breath. She was back in Toronto now, for the first time in over a year, and she trembles at the prospect of meeting the Clone Club she left behind.

The doctor presents her invitation to the valet and makes her way through the open door. A convivial crowd mingles about, glasses of champagne in their hands. Copies of _The Indomitable Sisters of Leda: Chronicles through the Crazy Science_ are neatly stacked on the tables, and she beams at her wife’s success.

Felix is the first to notice her. “Oi, our favorite French doctor is here! Everyone, let’s give a hand to the other half of our science geek duo!”

Delphine tries to shut him down – today was Cosima’s night, not hers – but it’s too late as a ring of guests form around her.

“I thought we were a science geek trio,” Scott mutters, shaking his head in disappointment.

The doctor strings an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “We will always be a team. I heard you and Katie got married.”

“We did!” Scott lightens up. “We missed you lots.”

Alison walks up to Cosima, who is chatting with a group of guests. “You have a visitor.”

“Who is it?”

“She’s French.”

Cosima looks to her left and smiles at the sight of Delphine, who blows her a kiss.

“Go ahead, we’ll talk later,” a guest says, and the scientist apologizes before making her way through the crowd.

“You made it,” Cosima says, pulling her wife into a hug. “I’m so nervous. Public speaking isn’t my forte.”

“So says the rockstar biology professor on her hundredth book signing. Hey.” Delphine holds her wife tenderly, pressing their cheeks together. They are so close the doctor could feel her wife’s heart beating rapidly. “I’m right here. And I’ll be right here when you’re done. I’m not going anywhere.” She presses a kiss on the scientist’s lips, and they rest their foreheads together. “Calmer?”

“So much better.”

“Can I have everyone come back to the living room so we can get started, please?” Sam stands on a makeshift platform. “I’m Dr. Samir Rankin, and it’s my distinct honor to welcome one of our esteemed colleagues here tonight.

“She grew up knowing she would devote her life to scientific discovery, only to find herself at the center of the greatest science story of our generation. But you didn’t come here tonight to listen to me, so I will scurry out of the way. Please extend a warm welcome to Professor Cosima Niehaus!”

Cosima reluctantly steps up to the podium, stuttering at first. “First of all, I couldn’t have asked for better company. My parents are here; you can stop howling, dad. My sister Alison helped me organize this event; she’s got a television series in the works so stay tuned for that. And we’ve got most of the Clone Club inside this room; you could probably recognize some of them.

“As Toronto is the city where it all began, it’s only fitting that this will be the last leg of my North American book tour. We’ve come a long way from the day Katja made contact with Beth to the night Sarah witnessed Beth’s final moments on a train platform. Since then, the Clone Club has worked tirelessly to cure all the Leda sisters and safeguard the genetic future of humankind.

“But tonight, I want to thank all of you for the love you have shown me and my sisters. Without our family, friends, and allies, our freedom would not have been possible, let alone our survival.” Cosima looks over to Delphine, standing in the back of the crowd, a sparkle in her eye. “And I really wanted to take a moment…to say thank you, to my wife Delphine. I…” Her voice cracks, and she fights back the tears.

“It’s okay Cos,” Art calls out.

“We love you!” Adele shouts supportively.

“You never once asked me to change…for you,” Cosima says, unable to hold back the flood of tears streaming down her cheeks. “You sacrificed…so much, without ever expecting anything in return. Not once have I ever thanked you or told you how blessed I feel to be loved so unconditionally be you.

“You loved me when I was deathly sick, loved me when I responded to your attempts to save us with contempt and scorn. You were the one constant in my sporadic life. I love you so much, I…” She breaks down, whimpering like a young child, and removes her glasses, crying into her sleeve.

Delphine rushes up the stage in concern, wrapping Cosima in her arms. It wasn’t intentional, but in that moment she needed to hold and comfort her wife.

“Now I’m getting your outfit all wet,” the scientist says apologetically as the doctor kisses her on the cheek. Charlotte walks up to the platform and wraps her arms around the couple. Before them, the guests break into applause.

“I got this,” the scientist whispers and returns to the podium. She apologizes before launching into her prepared remarks.

“I will be around to answer any questions you may have, and I will be as candid as possible.”

As she makes her way down the platform, Sarah walks up to congratulate her sister.

“Oh, Sarah,” Cosima sighs. “I can’t believe I let everyone see me get so emotional.”

“C’mon, at worst you’ll go viral. Are you sure you want no part in Alison’s show?”

“A hundred and ten percent.” Cosima takes a seat behind a table stacked with books.

“Don’t let her professorial demeanor fool you,” Sarah remarks to a line of guests waiting to meet her sister. “She’s as stubborn as they come. We all told her to stay far away from Delphine. So, naturally, she married her.”

After most of the guests return home, Cosima notices Rachel in the corner of the living room, pocketing a copy of the book and leaving. Curious, the scientist follows her out, watching the corporate clone sliding a finger through the index.

“Wondering how you were portrayed?” Cosima asks. “You really should read the book from beginning to end. Your information takes up a sizeable chunk of the material. I mean the files you sent me, not the legally problematic parts. I left that out, but if someone was to do some investigating, no guarantees.”

“I was planning on returning it…”

“Take it. It’s yours. That copy’s also signed, just FYI.” The scientist sticks her hands in her pockets, unsure of how to make small talk with her sister. “Thanks for coming. I was hoping we’d meet again.”

“I came to check on Charlotte,” Rachel responds stoically. “I’m closing in on Brodie. I’ll find him, if not by the end of this year, then by the next, I am certain.”

“We’ll take care of Charlotte, don’t you worry,” Cosima replies. “I prepared a gift for you, in case you ever showed up.” She pulls out a smartphone with a black silicone case. “It’s a clone phone, so you don't have to rely on burner phones anymore. Basically just an iPhone with all of our numbers. Next time you got a tip, you can text it to Art directly.”

Rachel makes a show of reluctance in accepting the phone. “Send my apologies to your sisters and your wife.”

“You mean _our sisters_? Would you like to tell them yourself? They’re inside.”

“I must get going.”

“It’s fine; I'll let them know.” Cosima grins. “Rachel, one day we will all perish, but you will live on. You will be the one to carry on the story of the Leda sisters, our legacy. I’m sure you will do us all proud.”

Rachel looks up at the manor, contemplating how happy the Clone Club must be without her in their lives. But at least one of her sisters was ready to forgive.

“You’re welcome to join us. When you’re ready, that is.”

“Goodbye, Dr. Niehaus. I’m certain our paths will cross again someday.” Rachel turns around walks away, the book tucked under her arm.

“Looking forward to it.”

Delphine arrives and places a hand on her wife’s shoulder. “Sarah has a special announcement.” They head back inside and spot Sarah in the middle of the living room, facing her confused boyfriend. Several guests take out their smartphones.

“Cal Morrison, you complement, challenge, and make my life better in each and every way,” Sarah says. “I’m not one for sappy, long-winded speeches, so I’ll get straight to the point.” She gets down on one knee. “Marry me?”

Cal lifts his girlfriend up, wrapping them in an embrace, and they kiss.

“Don’t be a tease. Is that a yes or what?” Sarah asks.

“Let me think…yes, absolutely.” The guests break out into cheers and applause.

“The transition is complete,” Delphine whispers, her arms encircling Cosima’s waist. “I have trained my replacement, and Sandrine now runs the operations.”

“So what’s next for Dr. Cormier?”

“I hope to open a clinic of my own, like the one in Calais. It’s been a childhood dream of mine, and I have been looking into starting one in Toronto.”

“I’ll support you, in every way I can.”

Charlotte stops filming Sarah’s proposal and makes her way over to her new parents.

“Tired?” Cosima asks, placing a hand on her daughter’s head. “We’ll go home soon.”

“Don’t fret, you two,” Felix says, walking over to the couple. “I've instructed Charlotte to give you plenty of space during your sexpeditions.”

“Felix!” The scientist gives him a playful push in the arm.

Sarah walks over to the couple with a wide grin in her face. “Sorry for upstaging your book signing.”

“Not at all,” Cosima replies. “Congrats, sestra.”

“Everybody, get to know Dr. Niehaus here first before she becomes a celebrity and her ego expands tenfold!” Felix calls out.

“Not our Cos,” Sarah defends her sister. “It appears Delphine has finally returned to us. Good luck to you both.”

 

 

_Two years later…_

Winter may not be the best time to visit Iceland, but Charlotte was hoping to catch the Northern Lights during her break.

With royalties from Cosima’s book and donations from the Leda sisters, Delphine had finally secured the funds for a clinic to call her own. Photographs from their Cure the Ledas tour adorn its walls. The scientist also visits regularly to assist her wife with the operations.

They were staying in Cal’s newly reconstructed cabin and cooking dinner. Delphine flashes a self-satisfied grin, finally mastering the pot of stew when it suddenly hisses as water boils over.

“I got it.” Cosima comes to the rescue, opening the lid and reducing the flame. “You’re almost there.” She smiles, wrapping an arm around her wife’s waist.

They gather around the dining room table, and Delphine places the pot of piping hot mushroom _bourguignon_ at the center.

“I’ve been volunteering at an animal shelter this semester and was wondering…could I adopt a dog?” Charlotte asks as she fills up each bowl. “The dorms don’t allow pets, so he would have to stay with you first.”

“I thought we already have a puppy at home,” Cosima replies, turning to her wife. “Okay, we’ll think about it.”

“Thanks! His name is Tiberius.”

Delphine smiles and changes the subject. “Have you decided on your major?”

“I’ve already declared. I’m majoring in Business Economics.”

“Business?” Cosima asks. “I was hoping to welcome another scientist to our family. Watch out Delphine, looks like our daughter will launch the next Dyad!”

“I will not!” Charlotte protests.

The doctor shakes her head and takes a sip of cider. “Should have known this before we adopted her…”

“When you become a billionaire, you’ll put us up in fancy retirement homes, right?” the scientist asks. “I want long hallways to race your _maman_ in our flying scooters.”

“I won’t turn out like that,” Charlotte assures her parents. “How would I find the type of love you have if I’m a power-hungry villain? You’ve been together for…how long?”

Cosima and Delphine turn towards each other. What qualified as the first day they were together: the time they first met and fell in love, professed their love for each other, or exchanged their wedding vows? There were so many firsts, but all that mattered was they were together now, in this moment.

Finally, Delphine speaks up. “It has just occurred to me that we have known each other for over ten years now.”

“If we'd be so fortunate, here’s hoping for several decades more.” Cosima grins and raises her glass in a toast.

After dinner, Charlotte rushes to the window. “It’s here!” She bounds up to the bedroom and fills up her backpack. “Let’s go!”

“What’s here?” The scientist peers out at the night sky and is greeted by a streak of pink light, with a dash of florescent green at the tip of its arc. “I’ve never seen anything like it. I thought auroras were green.”

“They usually are, but what we have here is Strong Thermal Emission Velocity Enhancement, otherwise known as STEVE,” Charlotte replies matter-of-factly. “They are more commonly sighted in lower latitudes, so we’re incredibly lucky to catch it from up here.”

“Remind me why you don’t want to be a scientist again?” Cosima asks, buttoning up her parka.

Charlotte slings her backpack over her shoulders and grabs her parents by the hand, leading them into the frigid outdoors. They step out on the snow and look up, awestruck by the nighttime display.

“What have you got in there?” Cosima asks as her daughter unzips the backpack, revealing a telescope. “I think we can see everything perfectly well from here.”

“We’ve encountered incredible phenomena together, but there is nothing quite like this, _chèrie_ ,” Delphine whispers, resting her hands on her wife’s shoulders.

“It’s ready.” Charlotte adjusts the telescope and turns to her parents. The doctor gestures to the scientist, permitting her to take the first look.

“This is remarkable,” Cosima breathes, completely taken by the mystic, all-consuming natural wonder. “You gotta see this.” Delphine takes her turn soon afterward and is instantly mesmerized by the view.

They stand outside, not caring for the wind chill, enchanted by the exhibition of lights together, as a family.

As Charlotte takes her turn, Cosima rests her head on Delphine’s shoulder. The doctor slips a hand into her wife’s pocket, warming their hands. The scientist appreciated how with each embrace she felt every facet of how much her wife loved her; she could sense it in the touch.

“ _Ma bien-aimée, tu es la meilleure chose qui m'est arrivée, la plus grande personne que j'ai jamais connue. Je t'aime de tout mon cœur.”_

“If anything, I am immensely blessed to be here with the one I love," the scientist replies, taking a moment to process her wife's words. "Sometimes I fear that our feelings will fade, as love often does. And yet, I remain in love with you, every minute of the day. Thank you for always being there for me."

Ten minutes later, Charlotte finishes taking pictures with her smartphone and pulls out a copy of _The Indomitable Sisters of Leda_ from her backpack. “You know what? This would be the perfect setting for a reading.”

“You dragged that all the way up here?” Cosima asks.

“Will you read it for us?” Charlotte aims her flashlight on the book and Cosima opens it. “I’m recording a video for social media. It’s part of my campaign to get pictures and videos of the book from every continent, under the hashtag _GalaxyofWomen_.”

“ _Most stories end with the death_ ,” the scientist begins to read. “ _Ours started with one. When Sarah Manning…_ ”

“Wait, from the beginning.” Charlotte flips to the acknowledgements, and Cosima starts over.

 

_This story is dedicated to the sisters of Leda and the ones who love them._

_To my sisters and best friends: Sarah Manning. Helena. Alison Hendrix. Your strength has been my inspiration._

_To the ones we lost, for their selfless contributions: Maj. Paul Dierden. Siobhan Sadler. Ethan and Susan Duncan. You are not forgotten._

_And foremost, to Dr. Delphine Cormier, the love of my life, without whom none of this would have been possible._

_For reasons beyond scientific explanation, I was drawn to you from the very first day. You were the one I wanted to take on the world with, even now, after all the crazy science. Because you lived, we conquered the chaos, earned our right to love one another, and built a family together._

_Mon amour pour tu est infini._


End file.
